50 Shades of Grey.

Discuss books here.

Moderators: Blip, The_Metatron

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#201  Postby Scarlett » Aug 01, 2012 1:33 pm

Crocodile Gandhi wrote:NSFW!

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Have fun.


Was it you who left it on this one Croc? :shock:

[Reveal] NOT SAFE FOR WORK / EXPLICIT CONTENT
“With his greasy slimelight thrusting deep into my soft-shelled tuna taco, the sensation of his wensleydale wand smashing my cervix made me quiver like jelly. The mixture of footlong fudge bullet and creamy load in my shit winker created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his blind butler made my spaff foam like someone had poured fairy liquid into Niagara Falls. Inserting a 15" spiked vibrator into my furry cup got me gushing flange custard faster than a greased weasel shit. Within no time, I could feel the shitty man fat dribbling from my chocolate starfish and all over my furburger.”
User avatar
Scarlett
 
Posts: 16046

United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#202  Postby Crocodile Gandhi » Aug 01, 2012 1:35 pm

It's a different paragraph everytime you open the link. I take no responsibility for what it said.
If I believe in heaven I deny myself a death. Dying keeps me conscious of the way I waste my breath - Cosmo Jarvis
User avatar
Crocodile Gandhi
RS Donator
 
Name: Dave
Posts: 4142
Age: 30
Male

Country: Australia
Australia (au)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#203  Postby Animavore » Aug 01, 2012 1:35 pm

No. It changes every time you click on to it. Every time equally hilarious.
A most evolved electron.
User avatar
Animavore
THREAD STARTER
 
Name: The Scribbler
Posts: 43472
Age: 41
Male

Ireland (ie)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#204  Postby Scarlett » Aug 01, 2012 1:40 pm

And far more literary merit that E.L. James :grin:
User avatar
Scarlett
 
Posts: 16046

United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#205  Postby Fallible » Aug 01, 2012 11:49 pm

Paula wrote:
Crocodile Gandhi wrote:NSFW!

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Have fun.


Was it you who left it on this one Croc? :shock:

[Reveal] NOT SAFE FOR WORK / EXPLICIT CONTENT
“With his greasy slimelight thrusting deep into my soft-shelled tuna taco, the sensation of his wensleydale wand smashing my cervix made me quiver like jelly. The mixture of footlong fudge bullet and creamy load in my shit winker created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his blind butler made my spaff foam like someone had poured fairy liquid into Niagara Falls. Inserting a 15" spiked vibrator into my furry cup got me gushing flange custard faster than a greased weasel shit. Within no time, I could feel the shitty man fat dribbling from my chocolate starfish and all over my furburger.”


Took me a good few seconds to realise I wasn't reading a restaurant review.
She battled through in every kind of tribulation,
She revelled in adventure and imagination.
She never listened to no hater, liar,
Breaking boundaries and chasing fire.
Oh, my my! Oh my, she flies!
User avatar
Fallible
RS Donator
 
Name: Alice Pooper
Posts: 50488
Age: 47
Female

Country: Engerland na na
Canada (ca)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#206  Postby Sovereign » Aug 13, 2012 4:49 pm

Why do I feel that if the movie comes out, it will play and feel about the quality of a skinemax movie?
Sovereign
 
Posts: 2989
Male

United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#207  Postby chairman bill » Aug 13, 2012 5:04 pm

I know very little about this book, apart from the BDSM theme. My sister-in-law has now given a copy to my wife. Can I expect to wake up screaming as she handcuffs me to the bed & stuffs a courgette* up my arse?


* Garden is over-run with sodding courgettes (that's 'zuchinnis' for our friends across the pond) & we're running out of recipe ideas, & the house is quickly filling up with the damned things
“There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.” Terry Pratchett
User avatar
chairman bill
RS Donator
 
Posts: 28122
Male

Country: UK: fucked since 2010
United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#208  Postby Scarlett » Aug 13, 2012 5:08 pm

chairman bill wrote:I know very little about this book, apart from the BDSM theme. My sister-in-law has now given a copy to my wife. Can I expect to wake up screaming as she handcuffs me to the bed & stuffs a courgette* up my arse?


* Garden is over-run with sodding courgettes (that's 'zuchinnis' for our friends across the pond) & we're running out of recipe ideas, & the house is quickly filling up with the damned things


Just. Don't. Go. To. Sleep! :shock:
User avatar
Scarlett
 
Posts: 16046

United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#209  Postby SafeAsMilk » Aug 13, 2012 5:32 pm

[Reveal] NOT SAFE FOR WORK / EXPLICIT CONTENT
The unrelenting orgasms from his master of ceremonies thrusting my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop.


I lost my mind when I read that one.
"They call it the American dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it." -- George Carlin
User avatar
SafeAsMilk
 
Name: Makes Fails
Posts: 13843
Age: 40
Male

United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#210  Postby Calilasseia » Aug 13, 2012 5:44 pm

Crocodile Gandhi wrote:NSFW!

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Have fun.


BWAHAHAHAHA!

Here's what turned up when I clicked the link ...

[Reveal] Spoiler: Fucking hell this is funny
Leaving my panties sunny side up on the floor was the least of my worries as his spam dagger probed deeper into my chocolate starfish. The mixture of hardened fudge nugget and magician's wax in my puckered brown eye created the delicious sphincter sauce that he was so fond of. With his tenderloin truncheon plowing deep into my furry cup, the sensation of his chubstep smashing my cervix made me quiver like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery. My mouth was so full of pink tractor beam and penis pudding, the penis pudding was weeping down my chin and onto my tatas. Hours of slamming like this would leave any girl's panty hamster looking like John Wayne's saddlebags, and I was no different!


"Panty hamster" ... :dielaughing:

I will never be able to look at hamsters in a pet shop ever again, without being filled with the urge to laugh like a maniac.
Signature temporarily on hold until I can find a reliable image host ...
User avatar
Calilasseia
RS Donator
 
Posts: 22028
Age: 58
Male

Country: England
United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#211  Postby Varangian » Aug 13, 2012 5:50 pm

50 Shades of Dross.
Image

"Bunch together a group of people deliberately chosen for strong religious feelings,
and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities." - H.P. Lovecraft
User avatar
Varangian
RS Donator
 
Name: Björn
Posts: 7293
Age: 55
Male

Country: Sweden
Sweden (se)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#212  Postby maiforpeace » Aug 13, 2012 8:04 pm

I haven't seen it, and I'm not interested. Should I be? Anyone want to give me their copy?
User avatar
maiforpeace
Banned User
 
Name: Mai Dao-Horton
Posts: 659
Age: 63
Female

Country: USA
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#213  Postby Calilasseia » Aug 13, 2012 8:24 pm

The consensus seems to be that this piece of pulp isn't fit to wipe a baboon's bottom with, let alone waste your time actually reading it. It's bad, derivative fanfic elevated to a status far beyond its level of literary competence, and the sex scenes are described in a manner that would probably put an intelligent woman off sex, rather than arouse her. You could probably write something better whilst sitting on the toilet.
Signature temporarily on hold until I can find a reliable image host ...
User avatar
Calilasseia
RS Donator
 
Posts: 22028
Age: 58
Male

Country: England
United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#214  Postby Posse Comitatus » Aug 13, 2012 8:41 pm

With all the power invested in me my a BA in English Literature (pending), 50 Shades of Grey is for bad people.
User avatar
Posse Comitatus
 
Name: Steven
Posts: 293

Country: United Kingdom
Taiwan (tw)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#215  Postby Macdoc » Aug 13, 2012 8:49 pm

If you haven't read it Cali - then you are not in a position to make that kind of pejorative statement.

I have read it.
I have a literary degree
It's an interesting foray into soft porn with a smidgeon of bondage.
It's bodice ripper taken a bit further is all. It verges on a send up -
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

This is likely a good summary
Jenny Colgan of The Guardian wrote "It is jolly, eminently readable and as sweet and safe as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) erotica can be without contravening the trade descriptions act"

Is it literature....not in the least.
Is it pulp fiction - yup and selling like crazy. Let it roll - about time America loosened the corsets.
Travel photos > https://500px.com/macdoc/galleries
EO Wilson in On Human Nature wrote:
We are not compelled to believe in biological uniformity in order to affirm human freedom and dignity.
User avatar
Macdoc
 
Posts: 16530
Age: 72
Male

Country: Canada/Australia
Australia (au)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#216  Postby maiforpeace » Aug 13, 2012 9:04 pm

Macdoc wrote:If you haven't read it Cali - then you are not in a position to make that kind of pejorative statement.

I have read it.
I have a literary degree
It's an interesting foray into soft porn with a smidgeon of bondage.
It's bodice ripper taken a bit further is all. It verges on a send up -
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

This is likely a good summary
Jenny Colgan of The Guardian wrote "It is jolly, eminently readable and as sweet and safe as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) erotica can be without contravening the trade descriptions act"

Is it literature....not in the least.
Is it pulp fiction - yup and selling like crazy. Let it roll - about time America loosened the corsets.


maiforpeace wrote:I haven't seen it, and I'm not interested. Should I be? Anyone want to give me their copy?


Though, at my age, I think I need my corset tightened. :lol:
User avatar
maiforpeace
Banned User
 
Name: Mai Dao-Horton
Posts: 659
Age: 63
Female

Country: USA
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#217  Postby Fallible » Aug 13, 2012 9:56 pm

SafeAsMilk wrote:
[Reveal] NOT SAFE FOR WORK / EXPLICIT CONTENT
The unrelenting orgasms from his master of ceremonies thrusting my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop.


I lost my mind when I read that one.


Lol.
She battled through in every kind of tribulation,
She revelled in adventure and imagination.
She never listened to no hater, liar,
Breaking boundaries and chasing fire.
Oh, my my! Oh my, she flies!
User avatar
Fallible
RS Donator
 
Name: Alice Pooper
Posts: 50488
Age: 47
Female

Country: Engerland na na
Canada (ca)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#218  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Aug 13, 2012 11:17 pm

maiforpeace wrote:I haven't seen it, and I'm not interested. Should I be? Anyone want to give me their copy?


You mean there are people who actually own it?

Macdoc wrote:
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.


If that piece of tripe constitutes a breakthrough of any kind for women, I denounce womanhood.

It's no worse than any schlocky romance novel but it's being treated as though it's content is new, which apparently qualifies it as profound. Even if slapping ass were new, it's still terribly shallow material and is presented so, so badly by the author.

I am thankful for the many hours of entertainment it's brought me though. Not that I was entertained when reading it, mind you, but I have laughed about it a lot since. I also have the added bonus of being one of those weirdos who gets off on being restrained and hit in the face and can attest to exactly how utterly silly this book makes BDSM look to anyone with such proclivities. It certainly appears to provide titillation to people who aren't already intimately familiar with such pastimes though.
Rachel Bronwyn
 
Name: a certain type of girl
Posts: 13157
Age: 31
Female

Canada (ca)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#219  Postby Fallible » Aug 13, 2012 11:47 pm

Macdoc wrote:If you haven't read it Cali - then you are not in a position to make that kind of pejorative statement.

I have read it.
I have a literary degree
It's an interesting foray into soft porn with a smidgeon of bondage.
It's bodice ripper taken a bit further is all. It verges on a send up -
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

This is likely a good summary
Jenny Colgan of The Guardian wrote "It is jolly, eminently readable and as sweet and safe as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) erotica can be without contravening the trade descriptions act"

Is it literature....not in the least.


Did they not teach you on your literary degree course that even a bus ticket is literature? It is literature. It's just shit literature.

Is it pulp fiction - yup and selling like crazy. Let it roll - about time America loosened the corsets.


I read the opening paragraph. That was enough for me to form the opinion that it looks like total shit. I've got nothing against those who want to read total shit - the success of Jilly Cooper, Danielle Steele, Mills & Boone and Jackie Collins attests to the fact that plenty do - but even that stuff is more artful than the clodhoppings of this one. Fuck, this is better.

Image
She battled through in every kind of tribulation,
She revelled in adventure and imagination.
She never listened to no hater, liar,
Breaking boundaries and chasing fire.
Oh, my my! Oh my, she flies!
User avatar
Fallible
RS Donator
 
Name: Alice Pooper
Posts: 50488
Age: 47
Female

Country: Engerland na na
Canada (ca)
Print view this post

Re: 50 Shades of Grey.

#220  Postby Macdoc » Aug 14, 2012 1:24 am

You didn't read it - you think your prof would pass you on a commentary - nope fail. Fucking undergrads cutting corners again - twas ever thus.
You read the not so good stuff so you recognize the range. Ask your prof.

And no, a bus ticket is not literature, it's a bus ticket. :coffee:

Your obsession with bodily functions seems a tad pathological......try the potty mouth training section of your local library. :D :coffee:
Travel photos > https://500px.com/macdoc/galleries
EO Wilson in On Human Nature wrote:
We are not compelled to believe in biological uniformity in order to affirm human freedom and dignity.
User avatar
Macdoc
 
Posts: 16530
Age: 72
Male

Country: Canada/Australia
Australia (au)
Print view this post

PreviousNext

Return to Books

Who is online

Users viewing this topic: No registered users and 1 guest