Crocodile Gandhi wrote:NSFW!

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Have fun.

Was it you who left it on this one Croc?

It's a different paragraph everytime you open the link. I take no responsibility for what it said.

No. It changes every time you click on to it. Every time equally hilarious.

And far more literary merit that E.L. James

Paula wrote:

Crocodile Gandhi wrote:NSFW!

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Have fun.

Was it you who left it on this one Croc?

[Reveal] NOT SAFE FOR WORK / EXPLICIT CONTENT

“With his greasy slimelight thrusting deep into my soft-shelled tuna taco, the sensation of his wensleydale wand smashing my cervix made me quiver like jelly. The mixture of footlong fudge bullet and creamy load in my shit winker created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. Now, I've seen more helmets than Hitler, but the sight of his blind butler made my spaff foam like someone had poured fairy liquid into Niagara Falls. Inserting a 15" spiked vibrator into my furry cup got me gushing flange custard faster than a greased weasel shit. Within no time, I could feel the shitty man fat dribbling from my chocolate starfish and all over my furburger.”

Took me a good few seconds to realise I wasn't reading a restaurant review.

Why do I feel that if the movie comes out, it will play and feel about the quality of a skinemax movie?

I know very little about this book, apart from the BDSM theme. My sister-in-law has now given a copy to my wife. Can I expect to wake up screaming as she handcuffs me to the bed & stuffs a courgette* up my arse?


* Garden is over-run with sodding courgettes (that's 'zuchinnis' for our friends across the pond) & we're running out of recipe ideas, & the house is quickly filling up with the damned things

chairman bill wrote:I know very little about this book, apart from the BDSM theme. My sister-in-law has now given a copy to my wife. Can I expect to wake up screaming as she handcuffs me to the bed & stuffs a courgette* up my arse?


* Garden is over-run with sodding courgettes (that's 'zuchinnis' for our friends across the pond) & we're running out of recipe ideas, & the house is quickly filling up with the damned things

Just. Don't. Go. To. Sleep!

I lost my mind when I read that one.

Crocodile Gandhi wrote:NSFW!

http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/

Have fun.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Here's what turned up when I clicked the link ...



"Panty hamster" ...

I will never be able to look at hamsters in a pet shop ever again, without being filled with the urge to laugh like a maniac.

50 Shades of Dross.

I haven't seen it, and I'm not interested. Should I be? Anyone want to give me their copy?

The consensus seems to be that this piece of pulp isn't fit to wipe a baboon's bottom with, let alone waste your time actually reading it. It's bad, derivative fanfic elevated to a status far beyond its level of literary competence, and the sex scenes are described in a manner that would probably put an intelligent woman off sex, rather than arouse her. You could probably write something better whilst sitting on the toilet.

With all the power invested in me my a BA in English Literature (pending), 50 Shades of Grey is for bad people.

If you haven't read it Cali - then you are not in a position to make that kind of pejorative statement.

I have read it.
I have a literary degree
It's an interesting foray into soft porn with a smidgeon of bondage.
It's bodice ripper taken a bit further is all. It verges on a send up -
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

This is likely a good summary
Jenny Colgan of The Guardian wrote "It is jolly, eminently readable and as sweet and safe as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) erotica can be without contravening the trade descriptions act"

Is it literature....not in the least.
Is it pulp fiction - yup and selling like crazy. Let it roll - about time America loosened the corsets.

Macdoc wrote:If you haven't read it Cali - then you are not in a position to make that kind of pejorative statement.

I have read it.
I have a literary degree
It's an interesting foray into soft porn with a smidgeon of bondage.
It's bodice ripper taken a bit further is all. It verges on a send up -
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

This is likely a good summary
Jenny Colgan of The Guardian wrote "It is jolly, eminently readable and as sweet and safe as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) erotica can be without contravening the trade descriptions act"

Is it literature....not in the least.
Is it pulp fiction - yup and selling like crazy. Let it roll - about time America loosened the corsets.

maiforpeace wrote:I haven't seen it, and I'm not interested. Should I be? Anyone want to give me their copy?

Though, at my age, I think I need my corset tightened.

SafeAsMilk wrote:

[Reveal] NOT SAFE FOR WORK / EXPLICIT CONTENT

The unrelenting orgasms from his master of ceremonies thrusting my tampon tunnel made me come so hard, I began sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop.

I lost my mind when I read that one.

Lol.

maiforpeace wrote:I haven't seen it, and I'm not interested. Should I be? Anyone want to give me their copy?

You mean there are people who actually own it?

Macdoc wrote:
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

If that piece of tripe constitutes a breakthrough of any kind for women, I denounce womanhood.

It's no worse than any schlocky romance novel but it's being treated as though it's content is new, which apparently qualifies it as profound. Even if slapping ass were new, it's still terribly shallow material and is presented so, so badly by the author.

I am thankful for the many hours of entertainment it's brought me though. Not that I was entertained when reading it, mind you, but I have laughed about it a lot since. I also have the added bonus of being one of those weirdos who gets off on being restrained and hit in the face and can attest to exactly how utterly silly this book makes BDSM look to anyone with such proclivities. It certainly appears to provide titillation to people who aren't already intimately familiar with such pastimes though.

Macdoc wrote:If you haven't read it Cali - then you are not in a position to make that kind of pejorative statement.

I have read it.
I have a literary degree
It's an interesting foray into soft porn with a smidgeon of bondage.
It's bodice ripper taken a bit further is all. It verges on a send up -
It might mean a breakthrough in certain aspects of erotica for mainstream women...hence the popularity.

This is likely a good summary
Jenny Colgan of The Guardian wrote "It is jolly, eminently readable and as sweet and safe as BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism) erotica can be without contravening the trade descriptions act"

Is it literature....not in the least.

Did they not teach you on your literary degree course that even a bus ticket is literature? It is literature. It's just shit literature.

Is it pulp fiction - yup and selling like crazy. Let it roll - about time America loosened the corsets.

I read the opening paragraph. That was enough for me to form the opinion that it looks like total shit. I've got nothing against those who want to read total shit - the success of Jilly Cooper, Danielle Steele, Mills & Boone and Jackie Collins attests to the fact that plenty do - but even that stuff is more artful than the clodhoppings of this one. Fuck, this is better.

You didn't read it - you think your prof would pass you on a commentary - nope fail. Fucking undergrads cutting corners again - twas ever thus.
You read the not so good stuff so you recognize the range. Ask your prof.

And no, a bus ticket is not literature, it's a bus ticket.

Your obsession with bodily functions seems a tad pathological......try the potty mouth training section of your local library.