Convert Me To Christianity

I need my Salvation now!

Abrahamic religion, you know, the one with the cross...

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Convert Me To Christianity

#1  Postby Dark energy » Mar 22, 2017 2:09 am

Convince me so that i can attain eternal salvation.
I will gladly renounce my beliefs if you give me convincing idea why should i follow Christianity to attain eternal salvation.

I need my salvation now,the lord is my Shepard.
And."
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#2  Postby dogsgod » Mar 22, 2017 2:44 am

.


I have no use for eternal salvation, so you can have mine.


You're welcome

.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#3  Postby Dark energy » Mar 22, 2017 3:07 am

There will be another interesting thread titled "Make me an atheist" another time which i hope will be more interesting lol,

Christian buddies
Suppose i am in front of the lord,eternal damnation is waiting me,i see hell and heaven,that time,there wont be second chances,right? save me me from that insufferable pangs of hell torment,from perdition,this is my only chance,I can not bear to be left alone,why should i believe in in a man shepard called Jesus ,christianity,to attain salvation?

The lord is my Shepard,i shall not want.
And."
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#4  Postby Dark energy » Mar 22, 2017 7:12 am

i will never despair from getting my salvation and being saved from perdition.


I need to be saved by christian folks here.
And."
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#5  Postby BlackBart » Mar 22, 2017 7:38 am

Don't you get 72 virgins and a toaster-oven on your current deal? I'd stick with that one.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#6  Postby Fallible » Mar 22, 2017 7:49 am

Why the fuck do you think people here would want to make you a Christian? As for making you an atheist, I don't care whether you're an atheist or not, as long as you don't try to force the beliefs you have now on others without evidence.
Sorry that you think you had it rough in the first world.
You ought to get out of that sooner than later.
Knowledge has turned into a trap; you have to slow down.
Get out of your head and spend less time alone.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#7  Postby BlackBart » Mar 22, 2017 8:01 am

I don't think there's that many Christians around here in the first place. Not since Lion-kibble went up to twenty quid a sack anyway.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#8  Postby Animavore » Mar 22, 2017 8:52 am

*flicks water over your head*

Sanctus. Dominos. Deus.

There. You're a Christian.
A most evolved electron.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#9  Postby zulumoose » Mar 22, 2017 8:55 am

You are already a Christian, everyone truly believes deep inside, you just need to open yourself up completely to Jesus

Wait, what are you doing with that can opener?

NO!

Oh bugger, now you've done it, who's going to clean up this mess?
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#10  Postby Blackadder » Mar 22, 2017 10:42 am

BlackBart wrote:Don't you get 72 virgins and a toaster-oven on your current deal? I'd stick with that one.


It always pays to shop around.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#11  Postby BlackBart » Mar 22, 2017 11:02 am

Blackadder wrote:
BlackBart wrote:Don't you get 72 virgins and a toaster-oven on your current deal? I'd stick with that one.


It always pays to shop around.


Maybe there's a comparison website? You might even get a toy Meerkat thrown in. :awesome:
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#12  Postby Dark energy » Mar 22, 2017 1:11 pm

I am open minded to various possibilities,being stuck in one position is not good, enlightenment is to be sought after with out arbitrariness and prejudices ,you know the greener pasture stuff.I dont want to shut my eyes,have my heart darkened by pride.

this thread was a failure and so it seems.
And."
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#13  Postby Sendraks » Mar 22, 2017 1:15 pm

Dark energy wrote:

this thread was a failure and so it seems.


You expected a thread making a request to a group of people to give you a convincing arguments for something they are unconvinced by to work?

The failure here is your entertaining this idea in the first place.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#14  Postby solazy » Mar 22, 2017 1:25 pm

Become a Christian and get a free harp on arrival in heaven!
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#15  Postby BlackBart » Mar 22, 2017 1:42 pm

solazy wrote:Become a Christian and get a free harp on arrival in heaven!


They don't even serve decent beer there? Ye Gods. :nono:
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#16  Postby Scot Dutchy » Mar 22, 2017 1:46 pm

Dont want a harp or 72 virgins.

https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=956_1323763506
Myths in islam Women and islam Musilm opinion polls


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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#17  Postby Sendraks » Mar 22, 2017 1:47 pm

Harp's are quite pricey. I wouldn't mind having one to sell on.

I'll pass on the virgins.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#18  Postby laklak » Mar 22, 2017 1:55 pm

Pastafariamism FTW. A beer volcano and a hooker factory.
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#19  Postby solazy » Mar 22, 2017 1:58 pm

Alright.
Can I tempt you with a free subscription to Sky TV?
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Re: Convert Me To Christianity

#20  Postby BlackBart » Mar 22, 2017 2:05 pm

Dark energy wrote:I am open minded to various possibilities


Then why don't you worship a giant purple duck named Dave? The evidence of his possibility is exactly equal to that of any other deity.

,being stuck in one position is not good,


Unless the alleged gods disapprove strongly of hedging one's bets.

enlightenment is to be sought after with out arbitrariness and prejudices


Well you've got your work cut out then. There's a few thousand religions to choose from - just picking a couple purely because they're popular would be, y'know, arbitrary.

this thread was a failure and so it seems.


Not true. I'm having a ball here thanks. :thumbup:
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