Jesus vs Harry Potter

Abrahamic religion, you know, the one with the cross...

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Jesus vs Harry Potter

#1  Postby DoctorE » Sep 10, 2013 9:17 am

They're stunning American teens with black belts in karate, and spend their weekends battling demons.

No, it's not the plot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer - this wholesome trio are actually professional exorcists, and have come to London with a suitcase full of Bibles and Holy Water, intent on banishing the Capital's dark forces.

Brynne Larson, 18, and sisters Tess and Savannah Scherkenback, aged 18 and 21, are determined to rescue London's youngsters from evil spirits, which they say they are inviting to possess them by reciting the spells in the Harry Potter books.

The threesome, from Arizona, believe the spells in J.K. Rowling's best-selling fantasy series are real, and dangerous.

In fact, they see Britain as a hotbed of occult activity whose origins go back to pagan times.

Savannah explains: 'It has been centuries in the making, but I believe it came to a pinnacle with the Harry Potter books.'

'The spells you are reading about are not made up,' adds Tess. 'They are real and come from witchcraft.'

Continues: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ivity.html
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#2  Postby trubble76 » Sep 10, 2013 9:20 am

Hmm either really clever or really stupid. Not sure which.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#3  Postby DarthHelmet86 » Sep 10, 2013 9:21 am

18 and 21...

Maybe they should do a bit more fucking reading. Also we know the spells aren't real, all the Harry Potter fans yelled those spells over and over with wands they made desperate for them to be real.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#4  Postby Arcanyn » Sep 10, 2013 9:50 am

The spells are just Latin phrases. It must have been pretty dangerous living in ancient Rome, with all the spells whizzing around every time somebody asked for directions.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#5  Postby THWOTH » Sep 10, 2013 9:55 am

"The threesome, from Arizona, believe the spells in J.K. Rowling's best-selling fantasy series are real, and dangerous."


Uttus Bollocus.
"No-one is exempt from speaking nonsense – the only misfortune is to do it solemnly."
Michel de Montaigne, Essais, 1580
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#6  Postby Alan B » Sep 10, 2013 9:56 am

Teen Exorcists will air on BBC3 on Thursday September 12 at 9pm.

Now, this should be fun. I'm setting this to record.
I have NO BELIEF in the existence of a God or gods. I do not have to offer evidence nor do I have to determine absence of evidence because I do not ASSERT that a God does or does not or gods do or do not exist.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#7  Postby Fallible » Sep 10, 2013 9:58 am

:teef:
She battled through in every kind of tribulation,
She revelled in adventure and imagination.
She never listened to no hater, liar,
Breaking boundaries and chasing fire.
Oh, my my! Oh my, she flies!
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#8  Postby Evolving » Sep 10, 2013 10:40 am

Arcanyn wrote:The spells are just Latin phrases. It must have been pretty dangerous living in ancient Rome, with all the spells whizzing around every time somebody asked for directions.


They are rather poor fake Latin.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#9  Postby zulumoose » Sep 10, 2013 10:47 am

Lattinius approximae , deliberatus..
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Jesus vs Harry Potter

#10  Postby mattthomas » Sep 10, 2013 10:52 am

I have some demons they can exercise

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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#11  Postby DoctorE » Sep 10, 2013 11:13 am

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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#12  Postby Blackadder » Sep 10, 2013 12:57 pm

DoctorE wrote:this wholesome trio are actually professional exorcists,


Yep. They even have certificates to prove it.

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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#13  Postby JVRaines » Sep 10, 2013 11:14 pm

Evolving wrote:
Arcanyn wrote:The spells are just Latin phrases. It must have been pretty dangerous living in ancient Rome, with all the spells whizzing around every time somebody asked for directions.


They are rather poor fake Latin.


The genre even has a name: Dog Latin.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#14  Postby Kazaman » Sep 10, 2013 11:33 pm

AVADA KEDAVRA
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#15  Postby Varangian » Sep 11, 2013 12:20 am

It's the same kind of idiocy as back in the 1980's, when religious nuts believed D&D rulebooks could be used to summon demons. I guess it is easy to think that, when one has swallowed the stuff in a book of myths hook, line and sinker. To those people, prayer has power, and as a consequence, made up spells in the HP books must work, too.
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and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities." - H.P. Lovecraft
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#16  Postby Calilasseia » Sep 11, 2013 3:48 am

Varangian wrote:It's the same kind of idiocy as back in the 1980's, when religious nuts believed D&D rulebooks could be used to summon demons. I guess it is easy to think that, when one has swallowed the stuff in a book of myths hook, line and sinker. To those people, prayer has power, and as a consequence, made up spells in the HP books must work, too.


These would be the same people who peddled the tiresome shit about playing heavy metal records backwards. Another manifestation of the same retarded predilection for mediaeval superstition.

I'd love to wheel these three ditzes in front of a television camera, and say to the straight, "Ok, you think that fantastic magic entities can be conjured up, simply by reciting some odd phrases contained within books that were marketed as fiction. I think we should put this to empirical test, don't you? Let's see if these fantastic magic entities actually appear, shall we?
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#17  Postby laklak » Sep 11, 2013 4:03 am

The sheer idiocy of these people knows no bounds. I just watched a show on NatGeo called "Snake Salvation", a series about these inbred snake-handling wet-brained imbeciles in Tennessee. Unbelievable. They're passing around copperheads and diamondbacks like they're goddamned marshmallows, waving them over their heads and speaking in tongues. One of the "pastors" has been bitten 7 times. 7 fucking times! OK, if you really really really believe this horseshit then I can see once or twice, but 7 times? Hasn't he gotten the message yet? Idiot got bit TWICE on the back of his head during the SAME sermon. Same fucking sermon. He said "It was a good sermon". Well, not good enough by half you moron if the fucking snake bit you TWICE. Either God's just not paying attention because you're a terrible snake-handler or maybe he doesn't fucking exist. Christ on a crutch, they're literally insane.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#18  Postby Regina » Sep 11, 2013 3:22 pm

Calilasseia wrote: I'd love to wheel these three ditzes in front of a television camera, and say to the straight, "Ok, you think that fantastic magic entities can be conjured up, simply by reciting some odd phrases contained within books that were marketed as fiction. I think we should put this to empirical test, don't you? Let's see if these fantastic magic entities actually appear, shall we?

I think you are missing the point, and The Daily Fail offers the relevant info: It's basically showbiz, and having three reasonably attractive young women performing and selling the crosses, the sessions and related stuff with the dad hovering in the background seems to work. Otherwise they'd be unable to tour the globe.
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#19  Postby Varangian » Sep 11, 2013 4:28 pm

I didn't expect the Spanish inquisition...
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and you have a practical guarantee of dark morbidities." - H.P. Lovecraft
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Re: Jesus vs Harry Potter

#20  Postby The_Piper » Sep 11, 2013 7:43 pm

This is real too.
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