Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

Issue of communion for the divorced expected to dominate synod.

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Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#1  Postby Shrunk » Sep 20, 2014 7:56 pm

A powerful group of cardinals has struck a blow against the reformist agenda of Pope Francis, warning him in a new book not to relax the Catholic Church's ban on remarried divorcees receiving Communion.

The book will be provocatively published on Oct 1, just days before the Vatican convenes an extraordinary synod, or meeting, of bishops. The synod will discuss the gulf between official Church teaching and the real lives of millions of ordinary Catholics, including the issue of the Sacrament for divorcees who remarry.

In the latest sign of a conservative backlash against the Pope's push for a more inclusive and compassionate Church, the five cardinals maintain the traditional position that divorce is not permitted and that anyone whose marriage breaks down and then marries again in a civil ceremony is technically an adulterer.

"The authors of this volume are united in their firm belief that the New Testament shows us that Christ prohibited, without any ambiguity, divorce and any successive marriage on the basis of God's original plan," they write in the book, entitled Remaining in the Truth of Christ – Marriage and Communion in the Catholic Church.

As such, they must not be allowed to receive the Sacrament, insisted the cardinals, who include hardliners such as Gerhard Ludwig Muller, the prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith – the Vatican doctrinal enforcement department which succeeded the Inquisition....


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... eform.html
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#2  Postby Arnold Layne » Sep 20, 2014 8:44 pm

They should immediately excommunicate divorcees and be done with it.

It would be an act of mercy.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#3  Postby Shrunk » Sep 20, 2014 9:02 pm

There are rumours that Bergoglio might even be considering relaxing the ban on contraception. I have no idea how credible that is, but if it is then I'm sure the conservative would love nothing more than to have the meeting bog down in an argument over the relatively trivial issue of communion for divorcees.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#4  Postby DougC » Sep 20, 2014 9:12 pm

magic crackers

:rofl:
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#5  Postby Made of Stars » Sep 20, 2014 9:52 pm

The real debate should be around who gets to eat the magic cheese.

(Cheese left in the fridge until it becomes imbued with hallucinogenic properties :) )
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#6  Postby laklak » Sep 20, 2014 9:55 pm

So get down upon your knees,
Fiddle with your rosaries,
Bow your head with great respect,
And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

Make a cross on your abdomen,
When in Rome do like a Roman,
Ave Maria,
Gee it's good to see ya,
Gettin' ecstatic an'
Sorta dramatic an'
Doin' the Vatican Rag!


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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#7  Postby KeenIdiot » Sep 20, 2014 11:26 pm

My mother would like this. She divorced an abusive husband before meeting my father. According to Catholic doctrine she shouldn't be able to take communion.
Not that it's stopped her, of course. But I know it bothers her.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#8  Postby jaydot » Sep 29, 2014 7:18 pm

i wonder if herr ratzinger is congratulating himself on getting out while he still had half a brain.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#9  Postby BlackBart » Sep 29, 2014 7:31 pm

DougC wrote:magic crackers

:rofl:


Jesus flavour Pringles.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#10  Postby Darwinsbulldog » Sep 30, 2014 2:10 am

I am amazed that people take any notice of someone who thinks a beaver is a fish. :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#11  Postby laklak » Sep 30, 2014 2:12 am

I've run into beavers with a fishy odor...
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#12  Postby Darwinsbulldog » Sep 30, 2014 2:23 am

laklak wrote:I've run into beavers with a fishy odor...

Priests are known to like hairless beavers, that's for sure! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#13  Postby Spearthrower » Oct 03, 2014 12:07 pm

Look lads, we've all been taking Jesus' body a bit too much for granted. He was just one man, you know? Sure, a god too, but in a single man's body... not even a particularly fat man, just fish and bread and shit. Now we've been munching on him for a goodly bit of time, and no one's really thought about sustainability here. We can't just keep on gnawing that shit all day every day, think about it! Would you like a million believers chomping down on your flesh on a weekly basis? No, I don't think you would. So here's the deal... we gotta figure out who doesn't get to eat the Jesus bits. And once we've done that, I need to talk to you about the wine!
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#14  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Oct 03, 2014 12:07 pm

I actually ordered Jesus crackers off of Amazon once because I was curious what they were like and they suuuuuuuuuucked.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#15  Postby Spearthrower » Oct 03, 2014 12:09 pm

Rachel Bronwyn wrote:I actually ordered Jesus crackers off of Amazon once because I was curious what they were like and they suuuuuuuuuucked.



Well, if you left a packet of Ritz open for 2000 years, I doubt they'd be any good either!
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#16  Postby Clive Durdle » Oct 03, 2014 2:08 pm

Could the Pope use his superpower the infallibility cloak to reset Catholicism as pro gay, with women priests, Bishops and Popes, pro contraception, pro abortion, magic crackers for all, no theology....?

Why not do it all in one go? Say he had a dream like St Peter's?
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#17  Postby Clive Durdle » Oct 03, 2014 2:09 pm

Isn't it the responsibility of a chief executive to change direction if needed?
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#18  Postby Shrunk » Oct 03, 2014 3:13 pm

Clive Durdle wrote:Could the Pope use his superpower the infallibility cloak to reset Catholicism as pro gay, with women priests, Bishops and Popes, pro contraception, pro abortion, magic crackers for all, no theology....?

Why not do it all in one go? Say he had a dream like St Peter's?


I admit I don't really understand how all that works. I've recently started commmenting on the Catholic World Report website (if you see any posts by lutesuite, that's me) which seems to have a rather conservative bent, and they are often quite openly critical of Bergoglio. So I'm not sure how that all squares with the "infallibility" thing. I know there is a distinction made regarding Papal statements that are meant to be expressions of Church doctrine, and that not everything he says and does falls under this. But how can the overall direction and philosophy of God's chosen apostle on earth be out of keeping with God's wishes?
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#19  Postby John Platko » Oct 04, 2014 6:58 pm

Clive Durdle wrote:Could the Pope use his superpower the infallibility cloak to reset Catholicism as pro gay, with women priests, Bishops and Popes, pro contraception, pro abortion, magic crackers for all, no theology....?

Why not do it all in one go? Say he had a dream like St Peter's?


Well according to:

http://www.papalencyclicals.net/Councils/ecum20.htm

9.Therefore, ◦faithfully adhering to the tradition received from the beginning of the christian faith,
◦to the glory of God our saviour,
◦for the exaltation of the catholic religion and
◦for the salvation of the christian people,
◦with the approval of the sacred council,

◦we teach and define as a divinely revealed dogma that

◾when the Roman pontiff speaks EX CATHEDRA, ◾that is, when, 1.in the exercise of his office as shepherd and teacher of all Christians,
2.in virtue of his supreme apostolic authority,
3.he defines a doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the whole church,


◾he possesses, ◾by the divine assistance promised to him in blessed Peter,

◾ that infallibility which the divine Redeemer willed his church to enjoy in defining doctrine concerning faith or morals.
◾Therefore, such definitions of the Roman pontiff are of themselves, and not by the consent of the church, irreformable.



Which on the surface makes it seem like he could just wake up one day and fix, or make worse a lot.

But the devil seems to be in the details, and that word irreformable seems to be the problem.

Oddly, Popes don't use the "formal" infallible powers very often. But there's also some kind of implied
use of infallibility (my terminology) which seems to extend the power.

From:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infallibil ... the_Church

The doctrine of the infallibility of ecumenical councils states that solemn definitions of ecumenical councils, approved by the pope, which concern faith or morals, and to which the whole Church must adhere are infallible. Such decrees are often labeled as 'Canons' and they often have an attached anathema, a penalty of excommunication, against those who refuse to believe the teaching. The doctrine does not claim that every aspect of every ecumenical council is infallible.


So because of legal loopholes like this in the power of infallibility, it seems that some people claim that some matters like woman being priests, etc. are already under irreformable protection from previous use of implied infallible powers.

At least, that's the best I can do sorting through the nonsense.

But, If I were Pope, what the heck, I'd give it a go and sit on my seat and announce to the world that in an ecstatic moment during a visit from a virgin I saw the light and we got some new rules. Given what the average Catholic knows about the infallible power of the Pope, that would be good enough for them- I doubt the Bishops etc could stop him. But it would take a Pope that's a real Saint to do such a thing and the Pope filter works very hard to screen them out. For example, a guy like Father Foster, who spent 40 years working down the hall from the Pope, and who one could imagine doing such a thing, had no chance of getting the job.
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Re: Pope calls meeting to decide who gets to eat magic crackers.

#20  Postby Arnold Layne » Oct 04, 2014 7:12 pm

So, God can't do updates, then? Sounds rather old-fashioned! :nono:
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