Trey Pearson Comes Out

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Trey Pearson Comes Out

#1  Postby Calilasseia » Jun 02, 2016 9:45 pm

Apparently, Trey Pearson, a singer with an evangelical Christian rock band, has just come out as being gay. He made the statement in a letter published in 614 magazine. The full article can be read here.

A particularly poignant part of this unfolding story is this part of his letter:

I grew up in a very conservative Christian home where I was taught that my sexual orientation was a matter of choice, and had put all my faith into that. I had never before admitted to myself that I was gay, let alone to anyone else. I never wanted to be gay. I was scared of what God would think and what all of these people I loved would think about me; so it never was an option for me. I have been suppressing these attractions and feelings since adolescence. I’ve tried my whole life to be straight. I married a girl, and I even have two beautiful little kids. My daughter, Liv, is six and my son, Beckham, is two.


The letter goes on:

I had always romanticized the idea of falling in love with a woman; and having a family had always been my dream. In many ways, that dream has come true. But I have also come to realize a lot of time has passed in my life pushing away, blocking out and not dealing with real feelings going on inside of me. I have tried not to be gay for more than 20 years of my life. I found so much comfort as a teen in 1 Samuel 18-20 and the intimacy of Jonathan and David. I thought and hoped that such male intimacy could fulfill that void I felt in my desire for male companionship. I always thought if I could find these intimate friendships, then that would be enough.Then I thought everything would come naturally on my wedding night. I honestly had never even made out with a girl before I got married. Of course, it felt anything but natural for me. Trying not to be gay, has only led to a desire for intimacy in friendships, which pushed friends away, and it has resulted in a marriage where I couldn’t love or satisfy my wife in a way that she needed. When Lauren and I got married, I committed to loving her to the best of my ability, and I had the full intention of spending the rest of my life with her. Despite our best efforts, however, I have come to accept that there is nothing that is going to change who I am.


A telling part of his writing is this:

So many of us live in fear. Most of the time it is fear of what we don’t know or understand. As much as I love Jesus, it is hard to see white, male pastors instill this fear of ignorance—who won’t even have the humility to have the conversation, to try and understand, when they don’t realize how damaging what they are doing is for so many people. It’s so easy when you have never had to be the minority, or the oppressed, or haven’t had to know what it’s like to not be able to be who you are. Maybe it is your church, your family, or your culture where you live that keeps you living in fear. But it’s not honest. That’s what creates the bubble so many people hate about church: the lack of honesty when it comes to questions about faith. The vast majority of people are tired of that. Faith can be a beautiful thing. But it has to start with honesty.


The entirely predictable response arrived quickly. Alluded to just briefly in the coverage of the story by The Guardian, thus:

Commenting on the letter to the magazine, Pearson calls his announcement “freeing”, but adds that he has lost some of the closest people in his life. He says some “church people” act like the worst people he has ever experienced. He says he’s starting over in many ways, “but it’s also starting out lonely”.


Pearson's full letter is also printed here in The Independent.

Though we've yet to hear the likes of Pat Robertson or Rush Limbaugh weigh in on this, it's only a matter of time. But the various news pages covering this development, are already starting to fill up with predictable comments from the bigots, laced with words like "perversion" and "unnatural". Though I don't have a Twitter presence (and frankly regard Twitter as a pestilence to be avoided at all costs), I suspect the Twitterverse is about to have one of its regular flame wars over this.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#2  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Jun 03, 2016 12:54 am

He's received a ton of positive feedback, even got a gig at a gay pride event, hah.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#3  Postby DougC » Jun 03, 2016 1:58 am

Good luck to him.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#4  Postby crank » Jun 03, 2016 5:23 am

I never played straight when I was growing up, in a small farming town in Texas in 60's and 70s, you can imagine the environment. No going along with how great a girls boobs were, or how I wanted to fuck that, no prom, no dating. But then, I wasn't the most social of people by a long shot, that's, I guess, the, or a, reason I didn't really even feel the pressure to do these things, I was already an oddball anyways, those were just more ways making me feel different. I had no desire to conform. That's all so I can say I can't understand how anyone gay, without any hints of bisexuality I should add, which I have none that I can detect, could marry and have sex and multiple children. I don't think I could get that drunk, which is the only way I see it happening, that or quaaludes or something similar, those are sorta the roofies of earlier times for you youngsters.

I'm in no way criticising anyone who can and have done this, only remarking on how strong the feelings of revulsion are in even thinking of doing such a thing. Sorry ladies, nothing personal, but you're all revolting, at least in that way :cheers: . Any other gays think more or less this way, or how many could you get married and have children? This is probably different for guys vs woman, that's just my guess.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#5  Postby NineBerry » Jun 03, 2016 6:00 am

Does that mean, he'll make good music from now on?
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#6  Postby The Serpent » Jun 03, 2016 6:43 am

crank wrote:I never played straight when I was growing up, in a small farming town in Texas in 60's and 70s, you can imagine the environment. No going along with how great a girls boobs were, or how I wanted to fuck that, no prom, no dating. But then, I wasn't the most social of people by a long shot, that's, I guess, the, or a, reason I didn't really even feel the pressure to do these things, I was already an oddball anyways, those were just more ways making me feel different. I had no desire to conform. That's all so I can say I can't understand how anyone gay, without any hints of bisexuality I should add, which I have none that I can detect, could marry and have sex and multiple children. I don't think I could get that drunk, which is the only way I see it happening, that or quaaludes or something similar, those are sorta the roofies of earlier times for you youngsters.

I'm in no way criticising anyone who can and have done this, only remarking on how strong the feelings of revulsion are in even thinking of doing such a thing. Sorry ladies, nothing personal, but you're all revolting, at least in that way :cheers: . Any other gays think more or less this way, or how many could you get married and have children? This is probably different for guys vs woman, that's just my guess.


My proclivities are more towards the chaps than the ladies. I identify as queer rather than gay (or bisexual -- I find that label odd), tho' as there have been individual women I've been attracted to and with whom I've had relationships. So it's not that women physical turn me off, I'm just much more into the fellas.

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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#7  Postby Thomas Eshuis » Jun 03, 2016 6:47 am

Trey who?
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#8  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Jun 03, 2016 6:50 am

Not everyone who's gay or straight is grossed out by the genitals of the sex they're not attracted to. Lots can bring themselves to become physically aroused and have sex with someone they're not sexually attracted to. They might struggle to enjoy the sex physically and/or be unable to get off and it's likely not something they can keep up long term but if someone wants it bad enough, damnit, they'll marry and have sex with someone they're not actually sexually attracted to until they just can't anymore.

Others can't stomach the thought. People are individuals.

Gay people have been marrying and having kids with straight people sinse their sexuality was marginalised and they were expected to play straight.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#9  Postby crank » Jun 03, 2016 7:31 am

Rachel Bronwyn wrote:

Gay people have been marrying and having kids with straight people sinse their sexuality was marginalised and they were expected to play straight.

I understand this, it makes me feel extremely sad though, because a lot of those probably had the feelings I have or close to. It's actually quite horrifying. Kids today are so much better off than my generation, but fuck, you wouldn't have to go very far back to see far worse than my generation, and of course in cultures all over the place and time. Like for the fundies and evangelicals, it would be a nightmare. It can twist the mind into extreme homophobia or lead to suicide. For me suicide would be a hell of a lot more likely than having kids. In some ways I'm glad there were some who could make that work, but I doubt many were happy, like this guy Pearson, who I too have no ideas who the fuck he is. It seems a terribly empty life even with having kids you love.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#10  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Jun 03, 2016 7:59 am

It sounds like he's had a pretty charmed life save the homophobia he was born into and maybe the otherwise perfect circumstances of his life made denying his sexuality tolerable. He had a job he liked and kids he loved and his faith and community. Even he didn't manage doing so past his mid-thirties though.

I hope he doesn't lose all those things as a result of coming out. A large chunk of the christian community will reject him but more christians than ever are taking the same stance that he has - that there is no conflict between being gay and being in gay relationships and practicing christianity. They'll stand by him.

If not, it looks like one of his band's songs, despite being Christian rock, did crack the Billboard top 200 so he has the option of pivoting and recording and performing secular rock. Is that a thing? Secular rock?
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#11  Postby Spinozasgalt » Jun 03, 2016 10:52 am

crank wrote:Sorry ladies, nothing personal, but you're all revolting, at least in that way :cheers: .

They are. Very much so. Icky.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#12  Postby Spinozasgalt » Jun 03, 2016 10:55 am

But yeah, I had a look at the band's twitter feed and despite the many messages repeating the same worn out claims of sin and Satan, it seemed that the bigger chunk of Christians were altogether warm and supportive.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#13  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Jun 05, 2016 3:42 am

This is actually a lovely little piece by one of Oral Roberts' grandkids, who played the same game Trey Pearson did - married a girl and had kids with her all while being gay. A decade ago when he came out and left his wife though Potts had a far uglier go of it. Pearson can honestly say the hatred is overwhelmed by support and kindness towards him. That's huge. The haters haven't gone anywhere. There's just a lot fewer of them.
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Re: Trey Pearson Comes Out

#14  Postby scott1328 » Jun 05, 2016 12:33 pm

crank wrote:I never played straight when I was growing up, in a small farming town in Texas in 60's and 70s, you can imagine the environment. No going along with how great a girls boobs were, or how I wanted to fuck that, no prom, no dating. But then, I wasn't the most social of people by a long shot, that's, I guess, the, or a, reason I didn't really even feel the pressure to do these things, I was already an oddball anyways, those were just more ways making me feel different. I had no desire to conform. That's all so I can say I can't understand how anyone gay, without any hints of bisexuality I should add, which I have none that I can detect, could marry and have sex and multiple children. I don't think I could get that drunk, which is the only way I see it happening, that or quaaludes or something similar, those are sorta the roofies of earlier times for you youngsters.

I'm in no way criticising anyone who can and have done this, only remarking on how strong the feelings of revulsion are in even thinking of doing such a thing. Sorry ladies, nothing personal, but you're all revolting, at least in that way :cheers: . Any other gays think more or less this way, or how many could you get married and have children? This is probably different for guys vs woman, that's just my guess.

No revulsion, just no attraction.
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