"Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

Discussions on 9/11, moon landing etc.

Moderators: Calilasseia, DarthHelmet86, Onyx8

"Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#1  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 3:34 pm

Image

Many of you have heard of a book and film series called "Twilight". Most of you write it off as a simple book series. I am here today to tell you that I have the truth.

The series is about a girl named Bella Swan. She meets a vampire named Edward Cullen, and they fall in love. Their adventures and relationship are documented in the book series.

I am here today to tell you that the purpose of this series is not recreation, but total anarchy.

By 2008, Twilight had become extremely popular with teenage girls, the target audience of the series. In November of 2008, a film series began. This is where the plot begins.

I have watched both films in the series. I honestly did not hate them until I discovered the truth. I always found the manor in which the characters on screen spoke; they often spoke with soap opera staccato. During these scenes, I would always cringe or bite my lip. I did not understand why, but I could not stand the manor in which they spoke. I discovered, in horror, why it was that they spoke in this manor and why I disliked it so much.

During the pauses in their speech, weak audio waves are being delivered to the audience. These signals carry hidden messages that aren't interpreted as words by the brain, but are nevertheless interpreted as a message. These signals tell people that Edward Cullen, the vampire, is the only person with whom they should ever have sexual intercourse. The results of this are catastrophic.

You see, the signals have been extremely weak thus far, which explains why girls are still having sexual intercourse. However, by observing the Twilight community, you will see that these audio signals are having an effect. These girls love Edward Cullen due to the doctrine being fed to these girls during the films. During the final two films, the audio waves will be stronger than ever. This will be the final blow. After the last two films, women will no longer have any desire to have sexual intercourse with humans. If there is no sexual intercourse, human reproduction will become a scarce event. The human race will die out with this generation.

Soon, people will begin to realize this. Riots will begin. People will be fighting and panicking in the streets. When chaos rules, people will become weak. They will be willing to listen to anyone that promises some sort of order: a New World Order. Yes, Twilight is the direct product of the Illuminati's ability to formulate plans that no one is able to detect. When chaos breaks out due to women disliking sex, the people will gladly let the Illuminati introduce order.

However, I was able to see through the Illuminati's plan. You see, I am an atheist; atheists are immune to dogma, even the dogma that is being fed to young women all over the world through the Twilight films. I was able to find the true intent of the series by studying subliminal messages being sent from the cast members of the Twilight films. For example whenever the actors that play the main characters, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, are asked wether or not they are dating, they always dodge the question. This is used to enhance the realism of the series and thus allow women to absorb the messages more easily. There is also evidence that the Illuminati are attempting to cover up their plan. The actress that plays Victoria, a vampire from the series, was replaced by Bryce Dallas Howard in the second sequel "Eclipse". This was attributed to "scheduling conflicts". This is simply a cover-up, of course. The REAL reason she was replaced was because she discovered the Illuminati's plan. In order to conceal their true motives, the Illuminati silenced the actress by brainwashing her and then replacing her. This is the power of the Illuminati.

The disturbing fact that convinced me that all of this was real was the release dates of each film. In 2008, "Twilight was released. The sequel, "New Moon" was released in 2009. The third film in the series, "Eclipse", will be released this year. The final part of the story, "Breaking Dawn", will be split into two films. If the pattern of release is followed, part one will be released in 2011. The final film in the series will be released in the year 2012. This is a sign that the world will not end in 2012. It is an implication that the "end of the world" is misunderstood; in 2012, the end of the world will not occur, but the collapse of society itself will occur.

Stop the spread of Twilight. You are responsible for saving society as we know it. SPREAD THE WORD!

;)
Last edited by Nautilidae on Mar 31, 2010 3:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#2  Postby Aurlito » Mar 30, 2010 3:58 pm

Clorazpam?
If your thoughts are the same as they were yesterday, your retired.
User avatar
Aurlito
Banned Troll
 
Posts: 652
Age: 23
Male

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#3  Postby aspire1670 » Mar 30, 2010 4:47 pm

Oh noes, does PJG know?
psikeyhackr wrote: Physics is not rhetorical pseudo-logic crap.

I removed this signature at the request of another member.
aspire1670
 
Posts: 1454
Age: 66
Male

Country: UK
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#4  Postby Kenaz » Mar 30, 2010 5:18 pm

Love this one. :)

Did you write this yourself, and if not, where did this originate?
Question marks may be at the end of sentences; but in life they are the introduction.
User avatar
Kenaz
RS Donator
 
Posts: 940

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#5  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 5:21 pm

JWG wrote:Love this one. :)

Did you write this yourself, and if not, where did this originate?


I wrote this myself. Because it's true. It is as true as God.
Last edited by Nautilidae on Mar 30, 2010 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#6  Postby Kenaz » Mar 30, 2010 5:22 pm

I commend you, a few tweaking and subtle "planted seeds" around the web and I think you may be able to pull of a humorous new conspiracy theory among the nutters. :)
Question marks may be at the end of sentences; but in life they are the introduction.
User avatar
Kenaz
RS Donator
 
Posts: 940

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#7  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 5:24 pm

JWG wrote:I commend you, a few tweaking and subtle "planted seeds" around the web and I think you may be able to pull of a humorous new conspiracy theory among the nutters. :)


That sounds like an excellent idea. Do you have any suggestions as to where I should plant it first?
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#8  Postby Kenaz » Mar 30, 2010 5:31 pm

He he, no I'm far too lazy on the matter. But it would be a good idea if you choose to endeavor. LOL! I'd think it is easier if you are subtle about it and allude to the idea of it in a forum that thrives on such things, and allow them to connect the dots in their nutter minds slowly. That way they think they rationalized it themselves. :P
Question marks may be at the end of sentences; but in life they are the introduction.
User avatar
Kenaz
RS Donator
 
Posts: 940

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#9  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 6:26 pm

aspire1670 wrote:Oh noes, does PJG know?


No one outside of this forum knows. That is why you must spread the word. We are approaching the collapse of society. It is fueled by this "Twilight" series. Spread the word! This is as legitimate as God.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#10  Postby Millefleur » Mar 30, 2010 7:16 pm

Nautilidae wrote:Image



Thats the man teen girls all over the world are in love with? If a man that looked like that looked at me like that in real life down a dark street somewhere I'd think he was an addict about to rape me. Seriously, his expression is creepy and intimidating. :yuk:

Has anyone here actually read the books? My (adult,) sister loves them. I'm tempted to read one to try to understand what the hell is going on here.

A while ago I stumbled across a forum for Twilight nutjobs containing such vomit inducing gems such as 'I dreamt i was having sex with Edward last night and woke up to see my boyfriend in bed next to me, I cried' or 'I stand my Edward and (whatever the other blokes called) life size cut outs facing each other in my bedroom so at night I can sleep with them standing over me, glaring at each other' :yuk: I wish i could find it again, lots of lolz.
This post was brought to you by Millefleur's Mature Responses™

Image
User avatar
Millefleur
 
Posts: 989
Age: 30
Female

United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#11  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 7:24 pm

Millefleur wrote:
Nautilidae wrote:Image



Thats the man teen girls all over the world are in love with? If a man that looked like that looked at me like that in real life down a dark street somewhere I'd think he was an addict about to rape me. Seriously, his expression is creepy and intimidating. :yuk:

Has anyone here actually read the books? My (adult,) sister loves them. I'm tempted to read one to try to understand what the hell is going on here.

A while ago I stumbled across a forum for Twilight nutjobs containing such vomit inducing gems such as 'I dreamt i was having sex with Edward last night and woke up to see my boyfriend in bed next to me, I cried' or 'I stand my Edward and (whatever the other blokes called) life size cut outs facing each other in my bedroom so at night I can sleep with them standing over me, glaring at each other' :yuk: I wish i could find it again, lots of lolz.


It is because of the weak audio signals being transmitted. It is the main portion of the Illuminati's grand scheme.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#12  Postby melchior » Mar 30, 2010 8:11 pm

Thats the man teen girls all over the world are in love with?


Not just teen girls :whistle:
Would you like a cup of tea with that?
User avatar
melchior
 
Posts: 386
Age: 106

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#13  Postby Millefleur » Mar 30, 2010 8:37 pm

melchior wrote:
Thats the man teen girls all over the world are in love with?


Not just teen girls :whistle:



I found this earlier, while searching for the other forum; http://www.twilightmoms.com/
This post was brought to you by Millefleur's Mature Responses™

Image
User avatar
Millefleur
 
Posts: 989
Age: 30
Female

United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#14  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 9:22 pm

Millefleur wrote:
melchior wrote:
Thats the man teen girls all over the world are in love with?


Not just teen girls :whistle:



I found this earlier, while searching for the other forum; http://www.twilightmoms.com/


I don't understand why that website is implied to be ridiculous. I find it no different than an ordinary fan site.

NOTE: Would you mind getting back on topic? I understand that this is a Twilight oriented thread, but it is about a conspiracy theory.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#15  Postby The_Metatron » Mar 30, 2010 9:44 pm

Poor fellow.

Doesn't understand how little currency he has when he tells the assembled company on this forum that "This is as real as god" and "This is as legitimate as god."

Some advice there, nautilidae: As you may imagine, comparing your pet conspiracy theory to god does not give your presentation credibility here. In fact, you can be sure it harms it. Further, it's just bad form. If you've got something to show us that is supported by any sort of evidence (which apparently you don't), it should stand on its merit. Appeal to authority is not support.
"In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option, I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this."

Astronaut Mark Watney, logging about his status of being stranded on Mars, in Andy Weir's book, The Martian
User avatar
The_Metatron
Moderator
 
Name: Jesse
Posts: 17329
Age: 53
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#16  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 30, 2010 10:17 pm

The_Metatron wrote:Poor fellow.

Doesn't understand how little currency he has when he tells the assembled company on this forum that "This is as real as god" and "This is as legitimate as god."

Some advice there, nautilidae: As you may imagine, comparing your pet conspiracy theory to god does not give your presentation credibility here. In fact, you can be sure it harms it. Further, it's just bad form. If you've got something to show us that is supported by any sort of evidence (which apparently you don't), it should stand on its merit. Appeal to authority is not support.


Oh really? If you like to talk about evidence so much, why don't you prove me wrong? Oh that's right; you can't. Game over, buddy.

Here's the evidence:

Kristen Stewart, the actress that plays Bella Swan, constantly dodges questions involving her and actor Robert Patinson, who plays Edward Cullen. Why is this? It is because they are members of the Illuminati. They are attempting to enhance the realism of the story. This will draw more people to the theaters where their audio messages can be transmitted. That is it: SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE that my theory is correct.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#17  Postby locutus7 » Mar 30, 2010 10:55 pm

If anything is embedded, it is the mormon doctrine that the author admitted (sorry, I don't have a cite) influenced her writing of these novels. But she is open about that, so no conspiracy.
"The idea of a "god" creating the Universe is a mechanistic absurdity clearly derived from the making of machines by men." Fred Hoyle

"Your book of myths is about as much use as a fishnet condom is for birth control." Cali
User avatar
locutus7
 
Posts: 374

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#18  Postby Nautilidae » Mar 31, 2010 2:21 am

locutus7 wrote:If anything is embedded, it is the mormon doctrine that the author admitted (sorry, I don't have a cite) influenced her writing of these novels. But she is open about that, so no conspiracy.


YOU FOOL! Admit it, you are just denying the obvious facts. The Illuminati WILL rise, and they are using Twilight to take control of the women of the new generation. Why do you deny this when you could in fact help? Give me some solid evidence that my theory is incorrect.
User avatar
Nautilidae
RS Donator
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 4220
Age: 22
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#19  Postby Kytescall » Mar 31, 2010 3:41 am

My firend saw the first film. He said it destroyed his soul.
... for doubt and secrecy are the lure of lures, and no horror can be more terrible than the daily torture of the commonplace. ~ H.P. Lovecraft, Ex Oblivione

Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known. ~ Carl Sagan, Cosmos
Kytescall
 
Posts: 1512
Age: 28
Male

Print view this post

Re: "Twilight" Conspiracy Theory

#20  Postby Mishakal » Mar 31, 2010 5:03 am

Kytescall wrote:My firend saw the first film. He said it destroyed his soul.


Soul? What's that?
It is interesting to find that people of faith now seek defensively to say that they are no worse than Nazis or Stalinists. ~ Christopher Hitchens, on the supposed atheism of Hitler and Stalin
User avatar
Mishakal
 
Posts: 635
Age: 29
Male

United States (us)
Print view this post

Next

Return to Conspiracy Theories

Who is online

Users viewing this topic: No registered users and 1 guest