Hall of Shame

For when creationists fail really hard

Incl. intelligent design, belief in divine creation

Moderators: Calilasseia, DarthHelmet86, Onyx8

Hall of Shame

#1  Postby Corke » Sep 15, 2012 2:40 pm

I thought it'd be a good idea to have a thread like the one going in the Theism subforum, called 'What's the battiest thing you ever heard a believer say?' The threads are essentially the same, but this one only applies to the special group of people known as creationists, and the incredibly ridiculous and fatuous assertions they erect about reality, which then turns around and laughs at them.

I don't know if we would be allowed to post stuff presented by other members of this forum, but if hack can hand out dunsapy's, this is fair game.

Let's start with Ray "Bananaman" Comfort. Most of you will have seen this, and yes, I know the title of the video is screwed up.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z-OLG0KyR4[/youtube]
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: Hall of Shame

#2  Postby Calilasseia » Sep 15, 2012 2:47 pm

Kent Hovind. I won't bother linking to one of his websites or videos, and thereby giving him income from Google AdSense, but it won't be hard to track down some truly sweaty and incontinent porkers that he's peddled over the years, not including the porkers he fed to the tax people of course. :)
Signature temporarily on hold until I can find a reliable image host ...
User avatar
Calilasseia
RS Donator
 
Posts: 22091
Age: 59
Male

Country: England
United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#3  Postby Corke » Sep 15, 2012 2:59 pm

Another one, that I can't stop talking about since I heard about it cuz it's so damn funny, is when Jayjay tried to pass off an aquarium ornament as a sabre-tooth tiger's skull back on RDF. Go here and scroll down to the last post, then watch the reactions.
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#4  Postby Made of Stars » Sep 15, 2012 4:21 pm

Polar bears. That is all. :coffee:
Made of Stars, by Neil deGrasse Tyson and zenpencils

“Be humble for you are made of earth. Be noble for you are made of stars” - Serbian proverb
User avatar
Made of Stars
RS Donator
 
Name: Call me Coco
Posts: 9820
Age: 52
Male

Country: Girt by sea
Australia (au)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#5  Postby Corke » Sep 15, 2012 4:49 pm

Polar bear post here.

Thanks to Cali for spending ages trying to track it down, and succeeding where I failed.
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#6  Postby John P. M. » Sep 15, 2012 4:57 pm

Peanut butter is apparently also an atheist's nightmare. It's a wonder I get any sleep at all! :o

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504[/youtube]
User avatar
John P. M.
RS Donator
 
Posts: 2913
Male

Country: Norway
Norway (no)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#7  Postby Matt8819 » Sep 15, 2012 5:30 pm

That is possible the fucking dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say, at any time in my life.
User avatar
Matt8819
RS Donator
 
Name: Matt
Posts: 5284
Age: 32
Male

Country: Canada
Canada (ca)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: Hall of Shame

#8  Postby Corke » Sep 15, 2012 5:32 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO9IPoAdct8[/youtube]

Note that these guys are actors, quoting from FSTDT. I unfortunately, got pretty pissed at them first time I watched the video, because they were so good, I couldn't tell they were acting.
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#9  Postby wedge43 » Sep 17, 2012 4:49 pm

Sweet tap-dancing christ....I'm with Matt8819. I feel quite a bit dumber after listening to those fucking morons. Actually never saw that banana bullshit before. Don't know whether to thank Corke or not!!! :lol:
If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. - George Carlin
User avatar
wedge43
 
Posts: 61
Male

Country: US
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#10  Postby Zadocfish2 » Sep 17, 2012 5:11 pm

Can I get, like, a transcript of all this? I don't get videos up here...
User formerly known as Falconjudge.

I am a Christian.
User avatar
Zadocfish2
 
Name: Justin
Posts: 608
Age: 29
Male

Country: USA
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#11  Postby willhud9 » Sep 17, 2012 5:16 pm

Oh good the peanut butter canard, which is popular in my community. An average jar of peanut butter contains 90% roasted and ground peanuts, salt, sugar, and some hydrogenated vegetable oils like palm oil and monoglycerides/diglycerides which are a preservative additive derived from fatty acids. The thing is, the life within the jar of peanut butter is dead. There is no genetic growth within peanut butter, there is no cell division, the jar of peanut butter contains dead peanut matter with added lipids, and carbohydrates. Also to compare the environment of a peanut jar to that of an early earth is a terrible comparison of abiogenesis. le sigh.
Fear is a choice you embrace
Your only truth
Tribal poetry
Witchcraft filling your void
Lust for fantasy
Male necrocracy
Every child worthy of a better tale
User avatar
willhud9
 
Name: William
Posts: 19349
Age: 29
Male

Country: United States
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#12  Postby Corke » Sep 18, 2012 1:34 pm

falconjudge wrote:Can I get, like, a transcript of all this? I don't get videos up here...


Most certainly. I'll do it myself, although expect my intelligence to have dropped a couple of notches by the time I'm finished.

Two guys and a banana

Ray Comfort wrote:Hold this, Kirk {Gives Kirk Cameron something that looks like a tin can, pic quality is bad}

Behold, the atheist's nightmare. Now, if you study a well-made {hahahaha!} banana, you'll find that, on the far side, there are three ridges, on the close side, two ridges. If you get your hand ready to grip a banana, you'll find that, on the far side, there are three grooves, on the close side, two grooves. The banana and the hand are {inserts banana into hand much like someone miming intercourse} perfectly made for each other. You'll find the maker of the banana, the almighty God, has made it with a non-slip surface {doesn't tally with what I know about the inside, but whatever}.

It has outward indicators of when to eat it. Green: too early. Yellow: just right. Black: too late. Now, if you look at a banana, you'll find that, as the soda can makers have placed a tab at the top, so God has placed a tab on the top. When you pull the tab, the contents don't squirt in your face. You'll find the wrapper, which is wide, and {something, can't make it out}, has perforations. Notice how gracefully it sits over the human hand. The top, for ease of entry, is just the right shape for the human mouth {makes an O with his mouth, this is very wrong}, easy to digest, is even curved towards the face. The whole of creation testifies to the genius of God.


As one commenter on Youtube noted: "Pineapples".
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#13  Postby babel » Sep 18, 2012 1:38 pm

That's why god has given us this contraption:
Image

Now... mango, that's a whole new ballgame.
Milton Jones: "Just bought a broken second hand time machine - plan to fix it, have lots of adventures then go back and not buy it, he he idiots.."
User avatar
babel
 
Posts: 4675
Age: 40
Male

Country: Belgium
Belgium (be)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#14  Postby trubble76 » Sep 18, 2012 1:44 pm

Just in case anyone was wondering if those idiots had a point about bananas being suspiciously suited to human needs, they are suited. Just like dogs are wolves that humans have made suited for our needs.

Here is a wild banana:

Image
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose,
And nothin' ain't worth nothin' but it's free.

"Suck me off and I'll turn the voltage down"
User avatar
trubble76
RS Donator
 
Posts: 11205
Age: 44
Male

United Kingdom (uk)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#15  Postby Weaver » Sep 18, 2012 2:21 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BCipg71LbI[/youtube]

Then he was dumb enough to double down.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyHzhtARf8M[/youtube]
Image
Retired AiF

Cogito, Ergo Armatus Sum.
User avatar
Weaver
RS Donator
 
Posts: 20125
Age: 52
Male

Country: USA
United States (us)
Print view this post

Ads by Google


Re: Hall of Shame

#16  Postby Corke » Sep 18, 2012 2:23 pm

FSTDT quotes

These actors are great at pretending to be stupid. When watching, you genuinely want to throw something at them.

FSTDT video wrote:"I often debate evolutionists online, because I believe they narrow-mindedly and dogmatically accept evolution without questioning it. I really don't care how God did what he did. I know he did it."

"I can sum it up in three words: Evolution is a lie." {My favourite one}

"You know, there are a lot of things in life that I have concluded to be wrong without studying them in great depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't think about it doesn't bother me in the least."

"Everyone knows that scientists use complex terminology to make it harder for true Christians to refute their claims. Take 'deoxyribonucleic acid' for example. Sounds impressive, right? You ever see what happens when you put something in acid? It dissolves. If our bodies were full of that acid, we'd all dissolve. So much for the theory of evolution."

"How could anyone believe that humans evolved from monkeys? Here's a few questions from some of you who may believe that. If we did, in fact, evolve from monkeys, how come babies aren't born monkeys?"

"You think that if no one believed in any sort of religion, there'd be no wars or fighting? I think it'd be worse. I think it'd be way worse. I know that, if I didn't have God's judgement to fear, I'd have killed many, many times."

"Even Darwin believed his theories were wrong before he died, so why do we still believe in them?"

"It's not known whether God created oil six thousand years ago, when he created the Earth, or whether the coal deposits were developed during Noah's flood four thousand years ago. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. What matters is, if you don't believe God created the Earth six thousand years ago, you're going to hell."

"Several million years for a monkey to turn into a man? Oh, wait, that's right. Monkeys don't live several million years."

"I'm sorry. Scientists have just shown that mice DNA is more similar to humans than human DNA {:rofl:}. Would evolutionists then argue that humans evolved from mice? Probably. The thing is, people can't think for themselves, and they get confused about reality. That's why people are willing to believe anything scientists will tell them"

"Let me see if I can paint you a little picture, you know, if atheists ruled the world. So, er, atheist son comes home to his mom.

'Hi, mom.'
'Hey, son'.
And in the summer, he'd probably say something like, 'Hey, mom, I'm gonna go fuck a hooker.'
'Ok, son, don't be home late.'
'Oh, I might be, because then I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive".'
'Oh, fine with me, son'.
And then the, the atheist dad would come home.
'Hi, honey.'
'Hey.'
'Er, how was your day?'
'Oh, I'm pregnant again. Looks like we're gonna have to go get another abortion, since fetuses aren't "actual human life".'
'Oh, no problem, honey. Get as many abortions as you like.'
'Wait, don't go in the bedroom, because there's two gay men fucking in there.'
'Why are there gay men, honey?'
'Because I wanted to watch. I wanted to watch the gay men.'
And then, and then he wouldn't care. He'd say, 'Okay, fine with me.' And then probably the atheist neighbour would run in.
'Quick, there's a Christian outside!'
'Oh, we're coming!'
And then, they'd grab their black robes and hoods, and they'd run into the street, where a Christian would probably be nailed to a big wooden X, being burned at the stake, surrounded by atheists in their hoods and robes.
'Die Christian! DIEEE! We claim to be tolerant of all religions, except you, we hate you. Cause we're atheists, and we're hypocritical like that, cause we're atheists.'
Scary, isn't it?"

ALL TEXT TAKEN WORD FOR WORD FROM ONLINE FUNDAMENTALIST FORUMS


I'm not going to do the peanut butter one. Basically, these nutters claim that if abiogenesis happened, occasionally, when we open a jar of peanut butter, we should find new life inside. Wilhud has dealt with that quite well.
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#17  Postby bert » Sep 18, 2012 2:27 pm

Corke wrote:As one commenter on Youtube noted: "Pineapples".


The best response I read was coconuts.

Bert
Who think that that word possibly does not pass the Internet filter of creationists so they can't learn about the counter example.
Promote rational thought on religion by telling other people to download this free booklet. Read it yourself and you may well learn new arguments and a new approach to debunk religion
bert
 
Posts: 517
Male

Netherlands (nl)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#18  Postby Corke » Sep 18, 2012 2:40 pm

bert wrote:
Corke wrote:As one commenter on Youtube noted: "Pineapples".


The best response I read was coconuts.



Meh, you can't hold pineapples, they don't change colour noticeably, really hard to peel and full of irritating seeds.

Oh, and falcon, Weaver's video was about Bill O'Reilly vs. David Silverman. The American Atheists society had put up two billboards saying "You know it's a scam" and pointing at religious symbols. O'Reilly was his usual self, sprouting retarded crap. His evidence for God? "Tide goes in, tide comes out. You can't explain that."

Actually, Bill, we can explain that very easily. It's something called gravity. The Moon and the Sun, as well as the Earth's rotation, is what gives rise to the tides. I learned that when I was about fifteen.

Silverman, president of the American Atheists society, didn't do too well. He got a bit worked up, but ah well. Should have declined Bill's invitation.

Er, is this entire thread going to be people bringing in videos, then me trying to describe them for falcon?
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#19  Postby Zadocfish2 » Sep 18, 2012 3:01 pm

FSTDT makes me so freaking sad... It's like a long, elaborate train wreck.

PS thank you, Corke. I appreciate it.
User formerly known as Falconjudge.

I am a Christian.
User avatar
Zadocfish2
 
Name: Justin
Posts: 608
Age: 29
Male

Country: USA
United States (us)
Print view this post

Re: Hall of Shame

#20  Postby Corke » Sep 18, 2012 3:27 pm

No problem. I'll do full transcripts of the ones that are comedy gold. It's a real shame you can't watch videos, you're missing out.

I know, right? I got so sick of reading through FSTDT after about twenty minutes. I'm trying to make this thread for the best bits, so hopefully it won't end up like that site.
User avatar
Corke
THREAD STARTER
 
Posts: 1561
Age: 26
Male

South Africa (za)
Print view this post

Next

Return to Creationism

Who is online

Users viewing this topic: No registered users and 1 guest