falconjudge wrote:Can I get, like, a transcript of all this? I don't get videos up here...

Ray Comfort wrote:Hold this, Kirk {Gives Kirk Cameron something that looks like a tin can, pic quality is bad}

Behold, the atheist's nightmare. Now, if you study a well-made {hahahaha!} banana, you'll find that, on the far side, there are three ridges, on the close side, two ridges. If you get your hand ready to grip a banana, you'll find that, on the far side, there are three grooves, on the close side, two grooves. The banana and the hand are {inserts banana into hand much like someone miming intercourse} perfectly made for each other. You'll find the maker of the banana, the almighty God, has made it with a non-slip surface {doesn't tally with what I know about the inside, but whatever}.

It has outward indicators of when to eat it. Green: too early. Yellow: just right. Black: too late. Now, if you look at a banana, you'll find that, as the soda can makers have placed a tab at the top, so God has placed a tab on the top. When you pull the tab, the contents don't squirt in your face. You'll find the wrapper, which is wide, and {something, can't make it out}, has perforations. Notice how gracefully it sits over the human hand. The top, for ease of entry, is just the right shape for the human mouth {makes an O with his mouth, this is very wrong}, easy to digest, is even curved towards the face. The whole of creation testifies to the genius of God.

FSTDT video wrote:"I often debate evolutionists online, because I believe they narrow-mindedly and dogmatically accept evolution without questioning it. I really don't care how God did what he did. I know he did it."

"I can sum it up in three words: Evolution is a lie." {My favourite one}

"You know, there are a lot of things in life that I have concluded to be wrong without studying them in great depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't think about it doesn't bother me in the least."

"Everyone knows that scientists use complex terminology to make it harder for true Christians to refute their claims. Take 'deoxyribonucleic acid' for example. Sounds impressive, right? You ever see what happens when you put something in acid? It dissolves. If our bodies were full of that acid, we'd all dissolve. So much for the theory of evolution."

"How could anyone believe that humans evolved from monkeys? Here's a few questions from some of you who may believe that. If we did, in fact, evolve from monkeys, how come babies aren't born monkeys?"

"You think that if no one believed in any sort of religion, there'd be no wars or fighting? I think it'd be worse. I think it'd be way worse. I know that, if I didn't have God's judgement to fear, I'd have killed many, many times."

"Even Darwin believed his theories were wrong before he died, so why do we still believe in them?"

"It's not known whether God created oil six thousand years ago, when he created the Earth, or whether the coal deposits were developed during Noah's flood four thousand years ago. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter at all. What matters is, if you don't believe God created the Earth six thousand years ago, you're going to hell."

"Several million years for a monkey to turn into a man? Oh, wait, that's right. Monkeys don't live several million years."

"I'm sorry. Scientists have just shown that mice DNA is more similar to humans than human DNA {:rofl:}. Would evolutionists then argue that humans evolved from mice? Probably. The thing is, people can't think for themselves, and they get confused about reality. That's why people are willing to believe anything scientists will tell them"

"Let me see if I can paint you a little picture, you know, if atheists ruled the world. So, er, atheist son comes home to his mom.

'Hi, mom.'
'Hey, son'.
And in the summer, he'd probably say something like, 'Hey, mom, I'm gonna go fuck a hooker.'
'Ok, son, don't be home late.'
'Oh, I might be, because then I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive".'
'Oh, fine with me, son'.
And then the, the atheist dad would come home.
'Hi, honey.'
'Hey.'
'Er, how was your day?'
'Oh, I'm pregnant again. Looks like we're gonna have to go get another abortion, since fetuses aren't "actual human life".'
'Oh, no problem, honey. Get as many abortions as you like.'
'Wait, don't go in the bedroom, because there's two gay men fucking in there.'
'Why are there gay men, honey?'
'Because I wanted to watch. I wanted to watch the gay men.'
And then, and then he wouldn't care. He'd say, 'Okay, fine with me.' And then probably the atheist neighbour would run in.
'Quick, there's a Christian outside!'
'Oh, we're coming!'
And then, they'd grab their black robes and hoods, and they'd run into the street, where a Christian would probably be nailed to a big wooden X, being burned at the stake, surrounded by atheists in their hoods and robes.
'Die Christian! DIEEE! We claim to be tolerant of all religions, except you, we hate you. Cause we're atheists, and we're hypocritical like that, cause we're atheists.'
Scary, isn't it?"

ALL TEXT TAKEN WORD FOR WORD FROM ONLINE FUNDAMENTALIST FORUMS

Corke wrote:As one commenter on Youtube noted: "Pineapples".

bert wrote:

Corke wrote:As one commenter on Youtube noted: "Pineapples".

The best response I read was coconuts.