NOTE: This article has no connection with real particle physics. Just in case any creationists chance upon this when it circulates into the wider public domain.

What we see when creationists try to realise their fantasy universe, is the total collapse of the enterprise, because of numerous unsolvable problems arising from trying to build the whole edifice around the Brainless-Dick Formulation. For example, Dembski space, for long regarded as the 'holy grail' of creationist wish-fulfilment, is accompanied by an intense dupliciton field, governed by a Lie algebra that is highly non-commutative, to such an extent that the commutator relations between the coprogenesis quantum operators in that space, magnify uncertainty to macroscopic levels. Wavefunction collapses in such an environment become impossible, because they lead to physically unrealisable states, resulting in a featureless void.

Use of the Ham Action, the method favoured by those who prefer the schema known as '2348 BCE orthodoxy', results in the production of charlatons as an unfortunate by-product, and these in turn produce a large cascade of anti-consilience. Resolution of this is impossible, because the Ham Action acts to constrain other operators within its radius of action, including those operators that break symmetries, as the connection in question enforces conformity to a strict parameter régime. Consequently, the resulting spacetime contracts and implodes without limit, the final stages usually involving disappearance into a submicroscopic wormhole, involving localised ex recto geodesics.

Use of the Hovind metric is problematic, because this results in the appearance of an infinite quantum vacuum stupidity, of a nature that is non-renormalisable. All the usual perturbative techniques to try and eliminate this have no effect, and a large mass-energy is liberated, during attempts to constrain inflation to below that of the ego field quanta. Said inflation arises because the metric cannot be compactified using any physically realisable topology, and the mass-energy arising from the infinite vacuum stupidity results in the appearance of an event horizon, whose Schwarzchild radius exceeds exponentially the radius of the inflation volume. In short, the metric results in an enormous gravity well encompassing the entire space-time and its contents.

Taken together, none of these measures avoids other fatal problems, the few stable spaces arising from ad hoc juggling of the free parameters all exhibit an absence of structure-forming mechanisms, along with adversely coupled quantum vacuum fields which generate large, heavy-mass retardons, several of which have an extremely short half-life, and decay into a shower of fail bosons.

Oh, very well done.

ROFLMAOPMP!!!!

That's even funnier (I don't know about geekier, though) than:

The bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your kind in here!"
A neutrino walks into a bar.

What I want to know is: has Cali's joke been peer-reviewed?

I long for the day when I see that referenced by a creotard

Calilasseia wrote:

Use of the Hovind metric is problematic, because this results in the appearance of an infinite quantum vacuum stupidity, of a nature that is non-renormalisable.

Oh my Gwynnies! Don't gotta be a geek to parse that info. That was awesomeness.