(a) transformers are and always will be the robots in disguise (or is it 'de skies') and are for KIDS, regardless of the shitty film thing

(b) Grown ups are allowed to like different things. All the films Campermon likes are shit, I've told him that, and he's still speaking to me. I think. (I would get on to musical choices but I have to go out)

Just dump her, she sounds silly.

melchior wrote: All the films Campermon likes are shit, I've told him that, and he's still speaking to me.

Only when I'm allowed to....

campermon wrote:

melchior wrote: All the films Campermon likes are shit, I've told him that, and he's still speaking to me.

Only when I'm allowed to....

Shut it. You slaaaaag.

I've started another ratskep domestic...... Sorry...

You two should watch Transformers 3. It's great.

SafeAsMilk wrote:

Globe wrote:

SafeAsMilk wrote:

Globe wrote:
Again.... to the rest of you.
It's not what you say, but how you say it.
Making a statement that leave nothing open for reply is almost as crude as being... well crude.

Of course. But quixotecoyote hasn't indicated that he was being crude, or attacking her in saying he didn't like the film. He said he didn't like it and why, and she got upset. Maybe he didn't realize that the way he worded it was actually insensitive, but there's no reason to assume that, and certainly no reason to advise him to pretend he liked the movie to avoid conflict. Besides, this is Transformers 3 we're talking about here, there should be an enforced death penalty for liking that film

Oh absolutely.
But a relationship is not a one-way learning street.
He AND She have to learn not to tick each other off with ill-considered remarks.
And oh boy have I heard my share of them.
They are not exclusive to one gender or the other.
Sometimes when out and about, I wonder what makes people stick together in the first place, the way they talk to each other.

For sure, I've seen plenty of relationships where people talk badly to each other. But it seems like you're assuming that's the case here, when there really is no reason. According to quixotecoyote, his statements were reasonable. Isn't it possible that she over-reacted?

What part of my post say anything about one specific relationship??
And yes... she might have overreacted and he might have sneered in a highly unpleasant way.
Who knows. We were not there and get only one side of the story.
But if he doesn't want all options he shouldn't have dedicated a whole thread to complain about his wifes reaction.

I think I was unclear about what I meant by "guessing games"...I meant that it seems like you're trying to come up with reasons that quixotecoyote's wife would be justified in her reaction. My point was that there's no reason for doing this, there could be any number of reasons that either one of them could be justified based the information we have. Maybe he did say something mean and didn't realize it. Maybe she just had a bad day at work and was grumpy. Why make these assumptions? Why not give quixotecoyote the same benefit of the doubt that you're giving his wife?

Because he is here and can answer for himself. She is not.

Sad to hear you have to watch so much crap TV...when I want to watch a dumb action movie, or my wife wants to watch a boring relationship movie, we will usually do other things while hanging out on the couch...reading, playing hand-held games, drawing, surfing the internet, etc. That way we're still together, but not bored. Everybody wins.

It goes both ways. Danish movies are only interesting to those who can actually understand them. That does not include Belgians. But he doesn't bitch and moan about it. He might do stuff on his tablet, but he respect that that is what I want to do at that moment.

Did you miss "and pretend not to sleep"??
I'm usually BEAT once I do get time to sit down in the sofa. 10-12 hours working days are not unusual, so I just don't want to do anything.
Hey.... it's saturday... 20.40... and I am still working to meet a deadline monday morning.

Paul G wrote:You two should watch Transformers 3. It's great.

I've heard though that it's a bit shit

I was lying. It's great.

While I appreciate the suggestions, like I said in post #11, we made up after an hour or two.

We fight every once in a while, even about stupid things. But we're pretty good about giving space for a bit and then talking.

So I can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And we can kiss and make up.

OP was about a weird moment in movie watching, but I'll argue that couples need to have reasonable expectations and the ability to talk to each other if the relationship is to be at all healthy.

Can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

She's thinking "Stop waffling you bastard, you're wrong"

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

She means "I'm being reasonable because I know you are wrong and you WILL pay at a later date <<evil laugh>> no sex for you buddy"

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

If I were you I wouldn't even bother with this bit.

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And she means "I'm toying with you, be scared....."

I hope that this helps you a little bit.

quixotecoyote wrote:While I appreciate the suggestions, like I said in post #11, we made up after an hour or two.

We fight every once in a while, even about stupid things. But we're pretty good about giving space for a bit and then talking.

So I can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And we can kiss and make up.

OP was about a weird moment in movie watching, but I'll argue that couples need to have reasonable expectations and the ability to talk to each other if the relationship is to be at all healthy.

Well then.... sounds like you have worked it out.
Sometimes we should have a reverse gear on our tongues right?

Globe wrote:

quixotecoyote wrote:While I appreciate the suggestions, like I said in post #11, we made up after an hour or two.

We fight every once in a while, even about stupid things. But we're pretty good about giving space for a bit and then talking.

So I can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And we can kiss and make up.

OP was about a weird moment in movie watching, but I'll argue that couples need to have reasonable expectations and the ability to talk to each other if the relationship is to be at all healthy.

Well then.... sounds like you have worked it out.
Sometimes we should have a reverse gear on our tongues right?

Considering this thread, I figure you'd know.

melchior wrote:

Can actually tell her, "Hey, it makes me feel stifled when you take criticism of things I don't like as a personal attack on you, it's not meant that way and I enjoy spending time with you even if I don't like what we're watching."

She's thinking "Stop waffling you bastard, you're wrong"

And she can tell me, "I get that it's not fair, and I'm sorry, but when you make negative arguments about the parts of things I like, it makes me feel stupid for liking it and I feel attacked."

She means "I'm being reasonable because I know you are wrong and you WILL pay at a later date <<evil laugh>> no sex for you buddy"

Then I can say, "Oh, that kinda makes sense, I'll try not give a 'this is too stupid for a reasonable person to like' vibe."

If I were you I wouldn't even bother with this bit.

And she can say, "And I'll try not to make it about me when it really isn't."

And she means "I'm toying with you, be scared....."

I hope that this helps you a little bit.

quixotecoyote wrote:
Considering this thread, I figure you'd know.

I am much more crass and straight forward when I write.
Writing can be explained and you have the precise wording.

Discussing "He said, She said" is the worst thing in the world, so I don't talk much.

Besides.... I might have been... eeeehmm.... blunt, but also correct in how people SHOULD behave towards each other.

Globe wrote:Besides.... I might have been... eeeehmm.... blunt, but also correct in how people SHOULD behave towards each other.

Wow, you're one of a kind.

Globe wrote:Discussing "He said, She said" is the worst thing in the world...

MacIver wrote:

Globe wrote:Discussing "He said, She said" is the worst thing in the world...

Different people have different standards.

Regina wrote:

MacIver wrote:

Globe wrote:Discussing "He said, She said" is the worst thing in the world...

Different people have different standards.

But remember, Globe's standards are what all other standards are measured against.

xtraordinaryevidence wrote:

Globe wrote:Besides.... I might have been... eeeehmm.... blunt, but also correct in how people SHOULD behave towards each other.

Wow, you're one of a kind.

Yup....
Straight forward.

Of course I don't know about you, but empirical evidence show that if people act with diplomacy towards each other the risk of disputes and downright fights are reduced substantially.

But,a s I wrote, I might be wrong about you. You might prefer that others act like complete twats to you.
I think there is a psychological definition for preferences like that.