Dumb and Dumber
Weird shit you heard, or said.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#41 
by Onyx8 » Feb 04, 2012 6:04 am
Fallible wrote:Spotted at the Welsh Mountain Zoo shop on a bucket containing badges - "badges - 50p each, or 2 for £1."
Years ago I was running a music/dance thing here and had a friend make up the signs for the bar. So he wrote: "Beer: $1.25 OR 3 for $5.00
You would be amazed at how many people bought their beer tickets three at a time to save money.
The problem with fantasies is you can't really insist that everyone else believes in yours, the other problem with fantasies is that most believers of fantasies eventually get around to doing exactly that.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#42 by Macroinvertebrate » Feb 04, 2012 8:34 am
Onyx8 wrote:Fallible wrote:Spotted at the Welsh Mountain Zoo shop on a bucket containing badges - "badges - 50p each, or 2 for £1."
Years ago I was running a music/dance thing here and had a friend make up the signs for the bar. So he wrote: "Beer: $1.25 OR 3 for $5.00
You would be amazed at how many people bought their beer tickets three at a time to save money.
Every Canadian has stories about beer. Love it.It's so cold in the D.
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Macroinvertebrate - Name: Gawd
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#43 by Onyx8 » Feb 04, 2012 8:48 am
...but we remember them...
The problem with fantasies is you can't really insist that everyone else believes in yours, the other problem with fantasies is that most believers of fantasies eventually get around to doing exactly that.
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Onyx8 - Posts: 5367
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#44 by Scot Dutchy » Feb 04, 2012 11:08 am
Fallible wrote:Spotted at the Welsh Mountain Zoo shop on a bucket containing badges - "badges - 50p each, or 2 for £1."
What do you expect in Wales.
Myths in islam Women and islam
"The only purpose economic forecasts have is that they make astrology respectable"- J.k. Galbraith
"The only purpose economic forecasts have is that they make astrology respectable"- J.k. Galbraith
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#45 by Paula » Feb 04, 2012 2:42 pm
My mother (mothers are great!) announced in front of all my friends and family at a BBQ that she loves a good spit-roast. 
There was lots of beer coming down noses
There was lots of beer coming down noses
I've lost my '1' 
Only a Ninja can sneak up on another Ninja -Tim Minchin
Only a Ninja can sneak up on another Ninja -Tim Minchin
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Paula - Posts: 6524
Re: Dumb and Dumber
#46 by campermon » Feb 04, 2012 2:45 pm
Paula wrote:My mother (mothers are great!) announced in front of all my friends and family at a BBQ that she loves a good spit-roast.
There was lots of beer coming down noses
MrsC wrote:
There's nothing as good as combustible products.
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campermon - RS Donator
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#47 by Paula » Feb 04, 2012 2:46 pm
Mr C! She's 71!
I've lost my '1'
Only a Ninja can sneak up on another Ninja -Tim Minchin
Only a Ninja can sneak up on another Ninja -Tim Minchin
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Paula - Posts: 6524
Re: Dumb and Dumber
#48 by campermon » Feb 04, 2012 2:51 pm
MrsC wrote:
There's nothing as good as combustible products.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#49 by Paula » Feb 04, 2012 2:53 pm
campermon wrote::?
Was really funny. My grown up daughters had to tell their nana why it was so funny, you should have seen her face
I've lost my '1'
Only a Ninja can sneak up on another Ninja -Tim Minchin
Only a Ninja can sneak up on another Ninja -Tim Minchin
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Paula - Posts: 6524
Re: Dumb and Dumber
#50 by Paul G » Feb 04, 2012 3:12 pm
Macroinvertebrate wrote:Paul G wrote:DougC wrote:When the Tsunami happend in Japan we where all shocked. Even a friend's partner who asked " does this have anything to do with global warming". A silence filled the room.
Why is this stupid?
Global warming is predicted to cause an increase in large scale storms and natural disasters, I don't think it's that silly to accidentally assume Tsunamis would be included.
Except that the tsunami was caused by an earthquake, so yeah, it was pretty stupid.
I know, it's stupid, but it's not OMG stupid. Maybe I know too many stupid people.
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Paul G - Name: Beef Joint
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#51 by natselrox » Feb 04, 2012 4:46 pm
2 recent ones that come to memory:
A friend, after coming out from an Astronomy Exhibition Hall: "Astronomy is much like Astrology. Both are mainly based on speculation."
While I was standing in a queue to get my books signed by Richard Dawkins, this girl came up to me and asked, "Isn't he the guy who wrote A Tale of Two Cities?"
A friend, after coming out from an Astronomy Exhibition Hall: "Astronomy is much like Astrology. Both are mainly based on speculation."
While I was standing in a queue to get my books signed by Richard Dawkins, this girl came up to me and asked, "Isn't he the guy who wrote A Tale of Two Cities?"
When in perplexity, read on.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#52 by DougC » Feb 05, 2012 1:00 am
Paul G wrote:Macroinvertebrate wrote:Paul G wrote:DougC wrote:When the Tsunami happend in Japan we where all shocked. Even a friend's partner who asked " does this have anything to do with global warming". A silence filled the room.
Why is this stupid?
Global warming is predicted to cause an increase in large scale storms and natural disasters, I don't think it's that silly to accidentally assume Tsunamis would be included.
Except that the tsunami was caused by an earthquake, so yeah, it was pretty stupid.
I know, it's stupid, but it's not OMG stupid. Maybe I know too many stupid people.
It was the way she said it, not a hint of irony. From a 8 year old fine, but she was 29. Someone has not been paying attention, me thinks.
To do, is to be (Socrate)
To be, is to do (Sartre)
Do be do be do (Sinatra)
SUBWAY(1985) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-GvpCUwDw
To be, is to do (Sartre)
Do be do be do (Sinatra)
SUBWAY(1985) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb-GvpCUwDw
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#53 by Shagz » Feb 05, 2012 2:03 am
So, I'm this kid working in a video rental place. This was way back when they were still big business.
This guy comes up to me, holding Terminator 2.
"I'm thinking of renting this for my kids to watch. Is there any sex in it?" he asks.
I thought about it, and said "I don't remember there being any sex in it. There's a lot of violence, though."
He says, "Oh, that's okay. Just as long as there's no sex."
Epiphanous revelations about how fucked up our culture is ensue.
This guy comes up to me, holding Terminator 2.
"I'm thinking of renting this for my kids to watch. Is there any sex in it?" he asks.
I thought about it, and said "I don't remember there being any sex in it. There's a lot of violence, though."
He says, "Oh, that's okay. Just as long as there's no sex."
Epiphanous revelations about how fucked up our culture is ensue.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#54 by Fallible » Feb 05, 2012 10:39 am
''At this point, I'd like to remind people that my words are not available for signature use and that any attempt to use them for said purpose will result in legal action instigated by me.'' - Spinozasgalt
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#55 by Blackadder » Feb 05, 2012 10:59 am
I had an admin assistant work for me once, who was great at her job but not too bright otherwise. I lost count of the number of howlers she came out with.
I was telling her about a friend who had broken his right wrist after falling off a skateboard and how it meant that he couldn't write. She replied, "I've got a friend who can write with either hand, because she's bi-what's-it, you know, bi-sexual, er, no..."
I was telling her about a friend who had broken his right wrist after falling off a skateboard and how it meant that he couldn't write. She replied, "I've got a friend who can write with either hand, because she's bi-what's-it, you know, bi-sexual, er, no..."
That credulity should be gross in proportion to the ignorance of the mind that it enslaves, is in strict consistency with the principle of human nature. - Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#56 by campermon » Feb 05, 2012 11:21 am
I've often found myself apologizing to inanimate objects, for example the other day at work I knocked over an electric heater and said 'sorry' to it....
I also sing to the meat I'm cooking; 'roast my little piggy /sheepy /[insert meat]'.....
I also sing to the meat I'm cooking; 'roast my little piggy /sheepy /[insert meat]'.....
MrsC wrote:
There's nothing as good as combustible products.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#57 by Wiðercora » Feb 05, 2012 11:45 am
I was talking in my sleep earlier, and it was so loud I woke myself up.
Always check for spiders.
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#58 by Paul G » Feb 05, 2012 12:46 pm
campermon wrote:I've often found myself apologizing to inanimate objects, for example the other day at work I knocked over an electric heater and said 'sorry' to it....
I also sing to the meat I'm cooking; 'roast my little piggy /sheepy /[insert meat]'.....
I do this all the time. I have a great pasta song.
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Paul G - Name: Beef Joint
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#59 by campermon » Feb 05, 2012 1:19 pm
Paul G wrote:campermon wrote:I've often found myself apologizing to inanimate objects, for example the other day at work I knocked over an electric heater and said 'sorry' to it....
I also sing to the meat I'm cooking; 'roast my little piggy /sheepy /[insert meat]'.....
I do this all the time. I have a great pasta song.
Singing to pasta is just a step too far!MrsC wrote:
There's nothing as good as combustible products.
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campermon - RS Donator
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Re: Dumb and Dumber
#60 by SafeAsMilk » Feb 05, 2012 4:33 pm
campermon wrote:Paul G wrote:campermon wrote:I've often found myself apologizing to inanimate objects, for example the other day at work I knocked over an electric heater and said 'sorry' to it....
I also sing to the meat I'm cooking; 'roast my little piggy /sheepy /[insert meat]'.....
I do this all the time. I have a great pasta song.
Yes, a mighty hot dog is our Lord!
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