When the Tsunami happend in Japan we where all shocked. Even a friend's partner who asked " does this have anything to do with global warming". A silence filled the room.

The girls at work where talking about the Kardashians. I was excited for three days about the prospect off a new Star Trek series.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cardassian

I don't know what to say...

Grace wrote:I don't know what to say...

Neither do I, but it usualy does not stop me.

Dumb shit I've said? My list would crash the site.

Tbickle wrote:Dumb shit I've said? My list would crash the site.

Go on, A sample please.

One of our fellow students, after a trip to the ER, asked the surgeon, "how many incidents of spontaneous human combustion do you get in?"
...o..k..

A favourite story of mine is of my first proper girlfriend. She was averagely smart and extremely beautiful. We were watching one of those "walking with dinosaurs" type things, you know the one where the guy actually pretends like he's there observing the beasties like a regular Attenborough (anyone remeber this?). The episode was about marine dinosaurs and so he was on a boat looking around for them. I saw the confused look on her face as we watched and so I asked "what's up?"

Her reply was legendary.... "I get that he's in the past studying dinosaurs and that, but what I don't get is wouldn't tv be black and white back then?"

WHERE TO BEGIN!

I was waiting outside a pub waiting on a minicab, it was freezing and windy and just a horrible night. So the taxi pulled up and I jumped in the back, had a whinge about the weather and told him to take me home. Gave him my address.

"I'd love to" he said "But my wife would kill me"

I'd just jumped into some poor randoms car, I had to explain to his wife why I was slinking out of their car too as she was getting in the front seat. Mortified!

Also dumb. I had to sit and listen to three grown women talk about going to psychics today. Recommending to each other who had given them the best ever reading they've ever had. It was, allegedly, amazing.

Ironclad wrote: "how many incidents of spontaneous human combustion do you get in?"

That's just a myth. But a ruptured aortic aneurysm -- now that's about as close to spontaneous human combustion as any witness will ever get. I've actually seen this happen only twice in my career. I'd just be talking to someone and suddenly the pupils dilate, the eyes roll back and the person slumps. After that it's pretty ugly! The person turns blue and blood follows to the path of least resistance, which is usually south of up. What's dumb is when resuscitation teams come along and try to save something like that -- it never works.

Paula wrote:I was waiting outside a pub waiting on a minicab, it was freezing and windy and just a horrible night. So the taxi pulled up and I jumped in the back, had a whinge about the weather and told him to take me home. Gave him my address.

"I'd love to" he said "But my wife would kill me"

I'd just jumped into some poor randoms car, I had to explain to his wife why I was slinking out of their car too as she was getting in the front seat. Mortified!

HughMcB wrote:A favourite story of mine is of my first proper girlfriend. She was averagely smart and extremely beautiful. We were watching one of those "walking with dinosaurs" type things, you know the one where the guy actually pretends like he's there observing the beasties like a regular Attenborough (anyone remeber this?). The episode was about marine dinosaurs and so he was on a boat looking around for them. I saw the confused look on her face as we watched and so I asked "what's up?"

Her reply was legendary.... "I get that he's in the past studying dinosaurs and that, but what I don't get is wouldn't tv be black and white back then?"

WHERE TO BEGIN!

This woman never seen the "Flintstones"?

A pal I knew worked as a guide at Edinburgh Castle. Two classics he came across, delivered by yanks, (the type found in Garry Larson cartoons, not the wise ones on this site) where;

"Why did they build the castle so close to the railroad?"
and
looking north across the Firth of Forth to Fife, "Is that Norway over there?"

To be fair to this former gf, she waited until we were well established before asking, fearing she might be missing something everyone else would know. Still, it puzzled her so she finally asked:

"When you pull the plug out of the wall, if you leave the switch on, why doesn't electricity leak all over the floor?"

Xeno wrote:To be fair to this former gf, she waited until we were well established before asking, fearing she might be missing something everyone else would know. Still, it puzzled her so she finally asked:

"When you pull the plug out of the wall, if you leave the switch on, why doesn't electricity leak all over the floor?"

I dont care if its true or not

O . M . FUCKING G .