How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

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How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#1  Postby jamest » Mar 21, 2020 2:52 am

I have an 18 year-old step-daugther and my actual daughter is 13. The former is at college and the latter in school. From today in the UK neither of them can go to their college/school any more.

So, this evening, as we were combining an after-dinner walk* with a visit to the town's atm to withdraw cash in case of another bank collapse, my 18 year-old step-daughter announces that she's meeting friends later, probably in the pub.

* Today is not just the day that kids no longer go to schools/colleges, it's NOW the day that the UK government forced all pubs/restaurants/gyms etc. to close, after the end of today.

We of course have told our 18, going on 15 year-old naive family member, that we absolutely forbid her to go out tonight. Now she hates us.

Did we (my missus and I) do the right thing? I dunno. But what I do know is that young people are not going to understand the severity of this problem, nor care when they see that nearly all deaths are via the elderly and that the young are hardly affected?
Young people are selfish and indifferent on the whole, and it's a seemingly hard task to make them grow-up.

There are or will be lots of coronavirus threads, so let's keep this one focussed upon how you deal with the virus when you have kids. Cheers.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#2  Postby laklak » Mar 21, 2020 3:16 am

Of course they're not going to understand the severity of it. They don't understand a fucking thing until they're into their mid to late 20s, it's a physical brain thingy. Look at the absolute idiot spring breakers in the U.S. Honestly, why are you even questioning yourself? If this is a bitch between you and your wife about how to treat her biological child then I can't help you, but if you're asking if your regulations are unreasonable then the answer is "No, and my house, my rules". That's how it works. If they're financially independent it's their indaba, otherwise it's your call.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#3  Postby jamest » Mar 21, 2020 4:00 am

It's more difficult when you're in a marriage with kids that aren't your own, of course, but how do you even deal with this shit better when your kids are your own? The point isn't that a certain kid isn't my own, but that kids in general are just so selfish and indifferent in general. I mean, even if you can get the average kid to engage with this shit for more than 10 minutes, most of them are going to be celebrating!!!

Back in the day, I didn't think that a saviour from going to school existed. I hated school, even though I have a thirst to be knowledgable.
Regardless, the point isn't how much of a dick we are at that age, but how we as adults NOW try to make OUR KIDS understand that in a crisis with a potential to outdo any of the world wars of the previous century in terms of both misery and death, they must 'grow-up', especially when we've spoilt them to oblivion prior to this particular disaster.

This is also a cultural crisis, is what I'm hinting at. Can Western kids cope with the particulars of the isolation enforcements that they're about to experience. I fear not.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#4  Postby laklak » Mar 21, 2020 4:47 am

For the first time in a lot of these kids' lives they're going to have to just suck it up, Hard lessons coming and nothing to be done about it.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#5  Postby jamest » Mar 21, 2020 5:41 am

laklak wrote:For the first time in a lot of these kids' lives they're going to have to just suck it up, Hard lessons coming and nothing to be done about it.

I'm not as old as you, but when I was a kid we didn't have any source of heating in our council house, other than a fireplace in the living room (coal). We didn't even have any source of light in our bedroom (cuz the electrics were never fixed). Indeed, we didn't even have an internal toilet and had to go for a piss/shit in the back yard. Bath nights were in those metallic museum pieces you might have come across somewhere, bath tubs. Anyone who knows anything about that will remember foremost how depressed one was at being last on the enforced Sunday bath, when the surface of the bath was encrusted with 'white stuff'.

These days, as I encounter new technology and visit museums where my memories of early life is depicted in the next room to [say] Napoleonic history, I'm dumbfounded.

This was in the 60s and early 70s, England. Where I lived, at that time, turns out not to be much different from when our house was built, in Queen Victoria's reign (1880s, from memory), except that we were supposed to have electrical lighting. Since I was nearly always sent to bed before dark and there was never any electrical lighting in my bedroom (shared by two other siblings), and since we didn't have a 'hot tap', I think it's fair to say that I have an inkling of what it's like to be piss-poor. In other words, even though this is the 21st century, much of my life has its roots in 19th century living.

I'm not complaining about this, btw. I'm actually celebrating that fact, because what I've learned from that experience is
the VALUE of the comforts most of you now take for granted, especially your kids.

I'm now in the unenviable position of trying to impose my values upon my kids who know nothing more depressing than that their internet connection isn't currently working.

That's precisely WHY I fear this crisis could cripple them, I suppose. Back in my day, it would take much more than that.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#6  Postby OlivierK » Mar 21, 2020 9:22 am

Our kids (13,15,17) are fine. Schools are still open here, but there are lots of kids staying home.

My eldest is in their final year, and has one teacher who is self-isolating due to existing medical issues, so they do their Italian lessons by Skype. All up, despite the potential for stress from disruption in the lead up to school-leaving exams, he's pretty sanguine, and finding ways to deal with any problems that arise.

My middle kid is barred from seeing his girlfriend, who is isolating due to a congenital heart condition. He's also been close to getting selected into state-level field hockey teams, and will now miss his chance at selection for national championships at Under 16 level as they've been cancelled, miss his chance at selection for our state's elite-level U18 squad, and has had his regional Academy of Sport program discontinued, and his first year of playing in our region's Open Men's Premier League postponed just weeks after being selected into our city's squad (a real achievement at 15). He'd have every reason to be upset at having so many opportunities closed to him, some of which will not come again for age reasons, but while he's disappointed, he's using the extra time he has from a lack of hockey training to try and up his game academically.

My youngest was joking that as given his choice of how to spend his time is to shut himself in his room and game, he's been drilling for coronavirus for years.

They not sulking or throwing tantrums, because they're not 5, and that doesn't fly in our house. Maybe it's because my wife's a doctor, but they just accept that this is how you deal with a pandemic - they're not stupid, and the measures make intellectual sense to them. They're encouraging their grandparents to stay home, and they're coping really well with how rapidly some things are changing for them. I'm kind of proud of them, but honestly, I know them well enough that I didn't expect any different. I don't know why people have such low expectations of the resilience of today's teenagers. It's not justified in my experience.

They're not in any danger of being crippled by this crisis, and the fact that they're 21st century kids means they're hardly isolated by being forced to interact with their world online rather than in person. All of them have friends and family who don't live locally and who they routinely interact with online anyway.

I don't really get why it's such a big deal. :dunno:
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#7  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Mar 21, 2020 9:41 am

I don't understand why people are having so much trouble with this. Aside from businesses being closed, it's the same as summer. "Go outside" is how we get through summer. It's how we're getting through this.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#8  Postby campermon » Mar 21, 2020 11:52 am

jamest wrote:

Did we (my missus and I) do the right thing?


Yes :thumbup:

Can't have one household member putting all at risk by their behaviour.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#9  Postby OlivierK » Mar 21, 2020 12:54 pm

Agree. She'll live.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#10  Postby Fallible » Mar 21, 2020 1:02 pm

I didn’t have an issue with my 19 year old and getting her to understand. I just tell her every day what has been recommended or decided by the government and she says ‘ok’. Her and her friends had already decided to stop physical meet-ups, and they get together online every night for group chat or to play games. I hear her up there whooping and laughing herself half to death. She’s no problem at all. But then she has had several years already of shitty things, such as anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts caused by being a attacked, my cancer, US’s health issues and thinking she was going to lose her ‘Pop’ (paternal grandfather) twice, once through bowel cancer and again through internal bleeding. As a result she has become very aware of the bad things that can happen. To her, this is just another bad thing, but she knows that if she does her bit, there is a chance it could pass us by and leave her loved ones intact. She is very mature, because she has had to be.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#11  Postby The_Metatron » Mar 21, 2020 3:09 pm

Very little change in life at Chez 'tron. Two boys, sixteen and twelve years old. We teach them at home anyway, so public school closures mean nothing to us. Primus doesn't care much for cutting social contact (his girlfriend and D&D at the library). But, he understands my decision and the reasons behind it. Secondus is less bothered, he hadn't been socializing independently yet.

We can't trust what our government says, so information is hard to get. I'm finding some skills I've developed over the years to be helpful. The decisions I've made so far have led to good outcomes.

My mom was born in 1941 and is not well, ingesting a good handful of pharma-candy twice a day. Living with her is my older sister and her daughter, who both have chronic conditions. This virus has every one of their names on it. I'm pretty sure my sister is unconcerned. I've not asked her plan or offered advice, it would be ignored anyway. I think this will likely kill them. It's a race between a vaccine and the virus getting to them first. The_Metatrix' dad is the same age as my mom, but has no chronic issues. Her mom is ten years younger, These are probably our greatest personal concerns for now. Like everyone else, I suppose.

It is easy to lose sight that doing nothing is doing a lot. That is, just staying home. We'd planned a trip to see grandparents this summer, That's not going to happen now. My call. If it isn't safe for them to fly across the country, it's no different if my family does it and brings all that shit we caught along the way with us. The_Metatrix worked night shifts for a month to earn, then burn that money up.

Primus has adapted his D&D hosting to online chat sessions, which seems to be working very well.

We will adapt.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#12  Postby NineBerry » Mar 21, 2020 5:01 pm

Rachel Bronwyn wrote:I don't understand why people are having so much trouble with this. Aside from businesses being closed, it's the same as summer. "Go outside" is how we get through summer. It's how we're getting through this.


Go outside yes. But stay the fuck away from other people. That's the hard part. Don't meet up with other people. Don't stand around in groups. Don't visit other people at their homes.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#13  Postby tuco » Mar 21, 2020 5:11 pm

Its hardest for people/kids who like outdoor activities and who due to their location or other circumstances cant do what they would do in summer. From what I read people come up with weird *things to do when they can't do their usual, publish it on social networks and inspire others. Just look it up.

---
edit: I read like "celebrities in quarantine .. some do nude selfies and some draw .. so I go there and there were no nudes. Thats bs.

edit: here https://zena.aktualne.cz/celebrity/nahe ... e8f0f1df3/ .. where are the nudes?
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#14  Postby Thommo » Mar 21, 2020 9:42 pm

OlivierK wrote:My middle kid is barred from seeing his girlfriend, who is isolating due to a congenital heart condition.


That really sucks. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking best wishes to both of them.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#15  Postby OlivierK » Mar 21, 2020 10:16 pm

Thanks :cheers:

She's much better now at 15 than she was as a baby, and probably healthy enough to get through contracting COVID-19 just fine. It's just that "probably" doesn't really cut it. It's a precaution, more than a clear and present danger. They're multiplayer gaming with each other and a bunch of mates right now, not unlike a lot of weekends. It's the "no making out" that's the heart of the frustration, but I suspect they've done enough in the last few months to last them a few more months yet. :roll:

They both seem fine with it. They're still too young to drive and live 20km apart, so they've got the online thing pretty much down.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#16  Postby Fallible » Mar 21, 2020 10:20 pm

:lol: Yeah, my daughter’s boyfriend probably lives a bit further away than that, so Internet is just normal for them.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#17  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Mar 21, 2020 10:30 pm

We aren't cracking down on gathering socially, just large gatherings and gathering indoors.

I'm not staying away from people. I'm dog walking and kayaking and picnicking most days. We never ride anywhere in a car together. We don't do anything indoors so we don't visit each other's homes. We just do stuff alongside each other outside. We maintain a couple arm lengths from each other and carry on doing a lot of what we did before.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#18  Postby tuco » Mar 21, 2020 10:42 pm

Sex over the internet is a thing, I was told.
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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#19  Postby Hermit » Mar 22, 2020 4:35 am

tuco wrote:Sex over the internet is a thing, I was told.


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Re: How to deal with the coronavirus lockdown when you have kids

#20  Postby UncertainSloth » Mar 22, 2020 6:55 am

jamest wrote:
laklak wrote:For the first time in a lot of these kids' lives they're going to have to just suck it up, Hard lessons coming and nothing to be done about it.

I'm not as old as you, but when I was a kid we didn't have any source of heating in our council house, other than a fireplace in the living room (coal). We didn't even have any source of light in our bedroom (cuz the electrics were never fixed). Indeed, we didn't even have an internal toilet and had to go for a piss/shit in the back yard. Bath nights were in those metallic museum pieces you might have come across somewhere, bath tubs. Anyone who knows anything about that will remember foremost how depressed one was at being last on the enforced Sunday bath, when the surface of the bath was encrusted with 'white stuff'.

These days, as I encounter new technology and visit museums where my memories of early life is depicted in the next room to [say] Napoleonic history, I'm dumbfounded.

This was in the 60s and early 70s, England. Where I lived, at that time, turns out not to be much different from when our house was built, in Queen Victoria's reign (1880s, from memory), except that we were supposed to have electrical lighting. Since I was nearly always sent to bed before dark and there was never any electrical lighting in my bedroom (shared by two other siblings), and since we didn't have a 'hot tap', I think it's fair to say that I have an inkling of what it's like to be piss-poor. In other words, even though this is the 21st century, much of my life has its roots in 19th century living.

I'm not complaining about this, btw. I'm actually celebrating that fact, because what I've learned from that experience is
the VALUE of the comforts most of you now take for granted, especially your kids.

I'm now in the unenviable position of trying to impose my values upon my kids who know nothing more depressing than that their internet connection isn't currently working.

That's precisely WHY I fear this crisis could cripple them, I suppose. Back in my day, it would take much more than that.


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