How to get people to respect you

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How to get people to respect you

#1  Postby inkaStepa » Jan 10, 2012 8:35 am

I'm a 5 ft 110 lb hispanic female. I'm just a student but I do make an effort to look professional. But, people still don't seem to take me seriously. I always find myself being talked down to or lectured. So my question is what makes people respect other people? Is it power and societal positions? What can I do to make myself seem more solid? Thanks.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#2  Postby cavarka9 » Jan 10, 2012 8:44 am

inkaStepa wrote:I'm a 5 ft 110 lb hispanic female. I'm just a student but I do make an effort to look professional. But, people still don't seem to take me seriously. I always find myself being talked down to or lectured. So my question is what makes people respect other people? Is it power and societal positions? What can I do to make myself seem more solid? Thanks.

leave them, ditch them. Independence is where respect comes from, respect your self and dont let anyone take you granted.

Stand for yourself(easiest way is to politely but firmly move away)., they might not like it at first or they have gotten so used to treating you in a manner that they have forgotten to respect you in a formal way.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#3  Postby z8000783 » Jan 10, 2012 8:48 am

Be clear about what you want people to do or not do and tell them clearly. Don't both with using the term respect, it will mean something different to them than to you.

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Re: How to get people to respect you

#4  Postby Beatrice » Jan 10, 2012 8:52 am

Maybe you can try turning the question on its head a bit, and ask yourself what makes you respect other people?
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#5  Postby Garm » Jan 10, 2012 8:57 am

cavarka9 wrote:leave them, ditch them. Independence is where respect comes from, respect your self and dont let anyone take you granted.

Stand for yourself(easiest way is to politely but firmly move away)., they might not like it at first or they have gotten so used to treating you in a manner that they have forgotten to respect you in a formal way.

:this: You're not trying to win a popularity contest. If people are crossing your boundaries, tell them they can fuck off. If, at work, people are being unreasonable to me, I politely tell them they can shove it and point out their own resonsibilty in the matter. Some people respect me for being direct, others (especially those co-workers who think they have some privileged position) hate my guts. Well, tough luck.

But maybe you could get a bit more specific. What do you mean by 'looking professional'? Are you referring to clothing, or something more? Which people are talking you down? Parents/friends/co-students/teachers?
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#6  Postby MoonLit » Jan 10, 2012 9:16 am

inkaStepa wrote:I'm a 5 ft 110 lb hispanic female. I'm just a student but I do make an effort to look professional. But, people still don't seem to take me seriously. I always find myself being talked down to or lectured. So my question is what makes people respect other people? Is it power and societal positions? What can I do to make myself seem more solid? Thanks.


Fuck them (not literally). Respect is something that in my eyes must be earned by all parties involved; yourself included. Sounds to me those people are just impolite assholes. (You don't have to respect someone to be polite and courteous towards them for example). Is there any possible way you can just avoid talking to these people as much as possible? I'd give that a go; though there is the chance that it may make them crave your attention even more.

Perhaps being passive aggressive towards them is another option; however it will seriously rub them the wrong way and can cause them to seek you out to also indirectly insult you. But for some, this is rather fun (I only do it to those I hate).

You can't "make" anyone respect you. That's up to the individual to decide if they want to or not. And often respect is easily lost as well. Every time one of them gets obnoxious towards you, get all passive aggressive OR be blunt and straight forward about how they are treating you.

Or just tell them to go fuck off somewhere. :lol:
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#7  Postby the_5th_ape » Jan 10, 2012 10:46 am

MoonLit wrote:
Fuck them (not literally)

:lol:
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#8  Postby mattthomas » Jan 10, 2012 10:50 am

You have to ask yourself do these people matter to you?

I want respect from people I respect, if someone's importance to me and my life is equivalent to the square root of fuck all then I don't care what they think of me :)
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#9  Postby xtraordinaryevidence » Jan 10, 2012 11:00 am

MoonLit wrote:Perhaps being passive aggressive towards them is another option; however it will seriously rub them the wrong way and can cause them to seek you out to also indirectly insult you. But for some, this is rather fun (I only do it to those I hate).


I agree with the rest of your post, but is this the best advice? Between passive-aggressive or straight forward, you should always go with straight forward, especially if you're trying to earn respect. I don't think inka will be taken seriously if she employs mind games.

Only doing it to those you hate reminds me of profiles of people who say "I'm a really nice person, until you get on my bad side. Then I turn into a bitch/prick". My first impression of people that say this is that it's just used as an excuse.

*I don't have that opinion of you by the way. I've read other posts of yours (so have more than a first impression) and I'm sure you don't mean it like that*
Last edited by xtraordinaryevidence on Jan 10, 2012 11:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#10  Postby The_Metatron » Jan 10, 2012 11:02 am

Respect yourself. Listen and read much more than you speak. Take and keep the high ground.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#11  Postby trubble76 » Jan 10, 2012 11:25 am

Be better than them. It may not make them respect you, but it'll make you respect you.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#12  Postby NineOneFour » Jan 10, 2012 12:36 pm

inkaStepa wrote:I'm a 5 ft 110 lb hispanic female. I'm just a student but I do make an effort to look professional. But, people still don't seem to take me seriously. I always find myself being talked down to or lectured. So my question is what makes people respect other people? Is it power and societal positions? What can I do to make myself seem more solid? Thanks.

When you're young, a lot of people will talk down to you because they're, well, assholes.

Act confident, don't give a shit about these people, and you'll find that more and more people will respect you.

It's odd, but the best way to get people to respect you is to not care what they think of you.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#13  Postby les5f » Jan 10, 2012 3:00 pm

You do not get respect just for existing you have to earn it. Be polite to others treat them as you would hope to be treated yourself, and if you have opinions express them by all means; but be prepared to back them up and do not be condescending to anyone that questions your own particular viewpoint.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#14  Postby Joe09 » Jan 12, 2012 12:14 pm

People in this thread have already gave you sound advice so there's no need to repeat that here

But what i will say is that i was once in your position, and in some cases still in that position. I have learned to not care and to assert myself more dominantly (but not so that i become like them) and i feel all the better for it.

Follow the advice given in the thread so far, its really sound advice :) *hug*
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#15  Postby JoeB » Jan 12, 2012 12:52 pm

les5f wrote:You do not get respect just for existing you have to earn it.

I disagree. In my opinion respect (and being treated respectfully) is something you should get by default, not something to be earned (in whatever way that might happen?).
It just seems weird to me that it's somehow ok not to treat someone respectfully, we're all humans after all.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#16  Postby Spearthrower » Jan 12, 2012 1:02 pm

inkaStepa wrote:I'm a 5 ft 110 lb hispanic female. I'm just a student but I do make an effort to look professional. But, people still don't seem to take me seriously. I always find myself being talked down to or lectured. So my question is what makes people respect other people? Is it power and societal positions? What can I do to make myself seem more solid? Thanks.



As soon as you stop worrying about people respecting you, you'll probably find that they start. Being concerned with such petty things means you're probably signalling that you're needy.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#17  Postby The_Metatron » Jan 12, 2012 1:34 pm

JoeB wrote:
les5f wrote:You do not get respect just for existing you have to earn it.

I disagree. In my opinion respect (and being treated respectfully) is something you should get by default, not something to be earned (in whatever way that might happen?).
It just seems weird to me that it's somehow ok not to treat someone respectfully, we're all humans after all.

A curious outlook.

In another life, while I was active duty military, I was compelled to respect the rank of my superior officers. Whether I respected the man wearing that rank was entirely dependent on the man. It was not automatic.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#18  Postby cavarka9 » Jan 12, 2012 1:39 pm

Spearthrower wrote:
inkaStepa wrote:I'm a 5 ft 110 lb hispanic female. I'm just a student but I do make an effort to look professional. But, people still don't seem to take me seriously. I always find myself being talked down to or lectured. So my question is what makes people respect other people? Is it power and societal positions? What can I do to make myself seem more solid? Thanks.



As soon as you stop worrying about people respecting you, you'll probably find that they start. Being concerned with such petty things means you're probably signalling that you're needy.

I completely disagree, sometimes people get caught up with the wrong sort of crowd for various reasons, you might get caught up by people who initially seem to be sweet but you later discover their mean side.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#19  Postby JoeB » Jan 12, 2012 2:07 pm

The_Metatron wrote:
JoeB wrote:
les5f wrote:You do not get respect just for existing you have to earn it.

I disagree. In my opinion respect (and being treated respectfully) is something you should get by default, not something to be earned (in whatever way that might happen?).
It just seems weird to me that it's somehow ok not to treat someone respectfully, we're all humans after all.

A curious outlook.

In another life, while I was active duty military, I was compelled to respect the rank of my superior officers. Whether I respected the man wearing that rank was entirely dependent on the man. It was not automatic.

Well when someone's being a prick I wouldn't really find him/her particularly worthy of respect, so it can drop.
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Re: How to get people to respect you

#20  Postby The_Metatron » Jan 12, 2012 2:10 pm

You misunderstand. One doesn't simply have to be a prick to lose any respect. I'm telling you there are worlds where it is common to withhold personal respect until it is earned.
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