Parallel Shelves

Is it even possible?

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Parallel Shelves

#1  Postby Arnold Layne » Oct 30, 2015 10:09 pm

I've tried putting up shelves which are parallel to each other. I've heard on another forum that several people have had experiences of parallel shelves, shelves which are so parallel that they can only be created by a supernatural force. Indeed, I believe that parallel shelves can only be created by those that truly have faith, as I certainly fucking can't do it, even though I have bought all the relevant earthly diy gear from the stores.

Can you help me debunk parallel shelves?
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#2  Postby campermon » Oct 30, 2015 10:10 pm

:rofl:

eta - actually spluttered beer on to the keyboard!
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#3  Postby Arnold Layne » Oct 30, 2015 10:29 pm

I thought you were on Old Rosie? :?
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#4  Postby campermon » Oct 30, 2015 10:33 pm

Arnold Layne wrote:I thought you were on Old Rosie? :?


For hangover limitation purposes, I have transferred to lager and gin!

:cheers:
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#5  Postby CdesignProponentsist » Oct 30, 2015 11:08 pm

I don't think local spacetime curvature will allow it Arnold, but I commend your effort.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#6  Postby laklak » Oct 31, 2015 2:44 am

We talking Euclidean or non-Euclidean here?

FFS define your terms, man!
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#7  Postby Arcanyn » Oct 31, 2015 2:50 am

I don't think the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle allows it. If you did have two shelves which were parallel, this would entail knowing their precise position relative to each other, which means there would be great uncertainty as to their relative momentum. As such, they will inevitably move and end up not parallel.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#8  Postby Blackadder » Oct 31, 2015 7:42 am

It IS possible to have parallel shelves. But this is an unstable state of nature as it violates the Second Law of Thermodynamics, i.e. that a closed room will tend towards a greater state of entropy over time. You've heard of gravity, electromagnetism and the strong and weak nuclear forces. There is a fifth one, which I like to call "wall-plug". This exotic phenomenon may permit shelves to reach a state of parallelism but this cannot be sustained. A bit like quantum physics, Wall-Plug Theory cannot accommodate gravity. There's a Nobel prize in home improvement waiting for the first person to overcome this problem.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#9  Postby Blip » Oct 31, 2015 8:15 am

Blackadder wrote:It IS possible to have parallel shelves. But this is an unstable state of nature as it violates the Second Law of Thermodynamics, i.e. that a closed room will tend towards a greater state of entropy over time. You've heard of gravity, electromagnetism and the strong and weak nuclear forces. There is a fifth one, which I like to call "wall-plug". This exotic phenomenon may permit shelves to reach a state of parallelism but this cannot be sustained. A bit like quantum physics, Wall-Plug Theory cannot accommodate gravity. There's a Nobel prize in home improvement waiting for the first person to overcome this problem.


Given the arguments caused by home improvement [sic] I think the Nobel awaiting is the Peace Prize.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#10  Postby campermon » Oct 31, 2015 11:16 am

campermon wrote:
Arnold Layne wrote:I thought you were on Old Rosie? :?


For hangover limitation purposes, I have transferred to lager and gin!

:cheers:


It didn't work.

:nono:
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#11  Postby Blip » Oct 31, 2015 11:20 am

campermon wrote:
campermon wrote:

For hangover limitation purposes, I have transferred to lager and gin!

:cheers:


It didn't work.

:nono:


Put up some shelves: that'll see you right! :cheers:
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#12  Postby campermon » Oct 31, 2015 11:22 am

:lol:

They won't be parallel!
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#13  Postby Arnold Layne » Oct 31, 2015 12:49 pm

Look, you lot. The man at B&Q said that he has testimonials from many satisfied customers that they have put up shelves that were parallel and have remained so your the rest of their lives, i.e. their shelf life.

If many people say it is so then the phenomenon cannot be ignored. All your silly physics theories must be false.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#14  Postby campermon » Oct 31, 2015 1:03 pm

'The man at B&Q' ?? :nono:

You need to use reliable sources - like the bloke at HomeBase.

:coffee:
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#15  Postby campermon » Oct 31, 2015 1:16 pm

bump - for screenshot poiporses...
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#16  Postby kennyc » Oct 31, 2015 1:29 pm

One word: Dark Energy

oh wait, that was two words.....

but one world
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#17  Postby monkeyboy » Oct 31, 2015 1:30 pm

Arnold Layne wrote:Look, you lot. The man at B&Q said that he has testimonials from many satisfied customers that they have put up shelves that were parallel and have remained so your the rest of their lives, i.e. their shelf life.

If many people say it is so then the phenomenon cannot be ignored. All your silly physics theories must be false.

If it was Gord at B&Q fair enough but I'm not just taking anyone's word for it. Has to Be Gord.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#18  Postby monkeyboy » Oct 31, 2015 1:31 pm

campermon wrote:
campermon wrote:
Arnold Layne wrote:I thought you were on Old Rosie? :?


For hangover limitation purposes, I have transferred to lager and gin!

:cheers:


It didn't work.

:nono:

Gin breaks my head better than a cleaver if I mix in one drop of other alcohol in a session. Ees nasty.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#19  Postby laklak » Oct 31, 2015 1:32 pm

Adam and Eve had parallel shelves, till they disobeyed the Lord their God, and now we can't have them any more. Thanks, assholes.
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Re: Parallel Shelves

#20  Postby Arnold Layne » Oct 31, 2015 5:44 pm

campermon wrote:'The man at B&Q' ?? :nono:

You need to use reliable sources - like the bloke at HomeBase.

:coffee:

He said he was an expert in the matter. He said "Don't go to Homebase, they don't know anything about it!"

Actually, I'm not certain about this at all. But I reckon that's a good thing. I mean, Heisenberg was very uncertain, but it seems he's right, Einstein was relatively certain, but then we can't reconcile gravity with QM, and Newton was absolutely certain, and it turns out he was wrong.

Arnold's Uncertainty Principle, which states that the more certain you are of something, the less likely it is to be true.

And that includes parallel shelves! :smoke:
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