https://www.npr.org/2022/02/15/10808298 ... s-baptisms

A Catholic priest in Arizona has resigned after he was found to have performed baptisms incorrectly throughout his career, rendering the rite invalid for thousands of people.

The Catholic Diocese of Phoenix announced on its website that it determined after careful study that the Rev. Andres Arango had used the wrong wording in baptisms performed up until June 17, 2021. He had been off by a single word.

During baptisms in both English and Spanish, Arango used the phrase "we baptize you in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." He should have said "I baptize," the diocese explained.

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One word wrong. You’d think any competent god would have understood the simple mistake, which seemed easy enough for mere men to detect. Unless this god is a prick.

I actually don't understand how the church even reached this conclusion; it was a baptism ritual, and the priest I assume was vested with the authority of God in this matter or however the church describes it. How does that even matter?

Oh, one more thing:

In all this time, all these decades, no one from the diocese ever stopped by one of Andres’ services to make sure he was using the correct magic words?

Who the hell is in charge of this shit?

Grammar matters.

And God, of course, requires the highest standards of English language to make His magic spells operate according to His plan.

Apparently it's not 'In the name of the father, the son and into the hole he goes' at funerals either.

While this is extremely unfortunate for the poor people who had their entire lives so tragically ruined through lack of vital majical protection, this whole calamity represents an enormous opportunity for the catholic church.

This is a huge statistically significant cohort. If the baptism rites are indeed more than a simple club initiation, indeed so important that strict phonetic convention must be adhered to for the spell to work at all, then we will be able to identify just how these poor unfortunate's lives were so badly ruined by an inaccurate baptismal spell. Did they all turn into succubi? Did they earn less on average than their peers? Were they all struck barren? A simple well designed statistical study will lay it all out.

Numbers don't lie and once we know just how badly off these poor practitioners were and just how badly they suffered then you'll be sorry. Take that atheists!1!11

Greg the Grouper wrote:I actually don't understand how the church even reached this conclusion; it was a baptism ritual, and the priest I assume was vested with the authority of God in this matter or however the church describes it. How does that even matter?

Invalid form. Catholic sacraments require several things to impart grace. Valid form, valid intent, valid matter and a valid minister.

In this case the minister (a priest) used invalid form ("we baptise you" rather than "I baptise you") and thus the sacrament is void.

Yes, it's bullshit but these people take it seriously.

Sounds like a serious clerical error.

Think of all those improperly baptized souls who had died. They will burn in hell for eternity...

scott1328 wrote:Think of all those improperly baptized souls who had died. They will burn in hell for eternity...

Their god really is a bit of a shit, isn't he? Fancy condemning all those souls to hell over a wrong word, he's like the world's most petty lawyer

They all have their crosses to bear, I guess.

Like a little kid locking his brother outside and not letting him in unless he says the magic word.

"I/we (delete as necessary) baptise you/thee (delete as necessary), in the name of the Father/Mother/Ungendered Parent (delete as necessary) and of the Son/Daughter/Non-Binary Other (delete as necessary) and of the Holy Grammatical Oversight (preferred pronoun: "theyx").

AMen. Or AWomen. Or ALternative preferred term (Delete as necessary).

Lettuce spray."

Blackadder wrote:"I/we (delete as necessary) baptise you/thee (delete as necessary), in the name of the Father/Mother/Ungendered Parent (delete as necessary) and of the Son/Daughter/Non-Binary Other (delete as necessary) and of the Holy Grammatical Oversight (preferred pronoun: "theyx").

AMen. Or AWomen. Or ALternative preferred term (Delete as necessary).

Lettuce spray."

I'm being told that he acted honestly, so the baptisms are valid.

I instead of we? One would have thought that the church is aware that Jeebus qualifies as a 'we' under the rules of their cult. After all that turgid dreck for 2,000 years about the triune nature of the cosmic curtain-twitcher, it's a testament to stupidity that none of them thought of this before it hit the news and made them look even more daft.

ETA: Grammar for catlickers:

Remember, 'I before we, except after holy see...'

Basset Hound wrote:I'm being told that he acted honestly, so the baptisms are valid.

By whom?

Is it like Harry Potter where if you say the incantation slightly wrong something unpredictable and unexpected happens?

I'm sure there's a truly hilarious joke in there somewhere about sin tax...