Becoming Free

#1 · #1 by **Truth-seeker** » Aug 10, 2013 8:52 pm

I'll make this as brief as possible, while trying to demonstrate through my words the deep negative impact religion has had on my life.

Probably the most descriptive term that sort of wraps it up, is that I was born and raised in the 'bible belt' (otherwise known as hell....at least as far as I was concerned).

Throw in a huge family clan of red-neck bible thumpers and real holy rollers (yep, actual holy rollers....among other various sundry displays of religion gone haywire, not the least of which was excorcisms.

I've been up and down the roller coaster for a long time (I'm in my mid sixties), never having found any real peace in this whole arena of religion.

I tried several different denominations of christianity, but found them all lacking any real depth and meaning for my life, except for when I was a small child and Jesus was my best friend, and other times when I mistook emotionality for spirituality. I also sought to find my peace within Buddhism, but that too, was too ritualistic for me, although I did find a lot of benefit to some of the practices.

In most ways, I felt in complete bondage to the christian religion. I didn't know if I could ever get away from all the guilt, shame, and fear associated with it. But even since I was just a child, I knew deep down that what I was hearing from the pulpit and Sunday School teachers was just not real. Especially having first-hand accounts of all the bigotry, harshness and contradictions that I experienced and witnessed in my every day life in the 'christians' all around me.

There were periods in my life when I couldn't even mention words associated with christianity without going into full-fledged panic attacks and rage attacks. I came to literally hate everything associated with christianity.

These days, I'm still seeking to find some sort of significant spiritual peace within myself. All of my family members are christian, and most of my friends. I'm afraid to talk with them about the way I think and feel, because they will immediately judge me and set out to 'save' me.

It's been an agonizing path to travel. I know I have to find the answers, but I really don't know where to begin, except to find a forum such as this and begin to seek to understand what it would mean for me to literally have no 'god'. In some ways it is terrifying and at other times, when I think of the possible freedom that awaits me, I am at peace.

I'm not an intellectual, and not scientifically inclined. So it may not be so easy for me to embrace atheism.

I would gratefully appreciate any suggestions that may help me to understand what atheism really is. Can you recommend any books/websites that would be easy for me to grasp? I'm just starting out on this journey, but I really do want to understand. I'm so weary of fighting this battle.

And how do I begin to share with christian family members? I just want to 'break out' of this box, and be free.

Gratefully,
Truth-seeker

#2 · #2 by **Animavore** » Aug 11, 2013 12:20 am

Hi. I'm reading a book at the moment by a former Christian preacher turned atheist.

On his website he offers advise for those who want to leave the fold.
http://debunkingchristianity.blogspot.i ... -fold.html

#3 · #3 by **james1v** » Aug 11, 2013 1:33 am

#4 · #4 by **theropod** » Aug 11, 2013 3:05 am

All atheism is boils down to a lack of acceptance that there is any god or gods. That's it. It's not a different religion.

Welcome and poke around here a while and I'm sure you'll see there are all sorts of folks here with similar backgrounds and experiences. I was an ordained Baptist minister, and now I share your convictions about the tripe.

RS

#5 · #5 by **sennekuyl** » Aug 11, 2013 1:01 pm

Hullo.

#6 · #6 by **Made of Stars** » Aug 11, 2013 1:28 pm

Hi there.

Plenty of ex-Christians here. :grin:

#7 · #7 by **Michael66** » Aug 11, 2013 7:01 pm

Hi TruthSeeker,

Sorry to hear of your struggles.

If you've had difficulty dealing with same and guilt then I would recommend trying The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning, alongside atheism books. Brennan has 'been there' - he was an alcoholic, and he was a priest who had the shame and guilt of leaving the priesthood to marry (a marriage which later failed, largely because of his alcoholism). He speaks from a place of an 'outsider' of the faith that he grew up in.

Anyway, hoping you find the spiritual peace you are looking for, on whatever path you take.

Michael

#8 · #8 by **Truth-seeker** » Aug 12, 2013 3:42 am

Thank you all so much for your input! Thanks for the recommendations! I know they will be very helpful to me. I began by listening to 'The God Delusion' on YouTube, but haven't gotten very far yet. The Ragamuffin Gospel sounds great too.

Again, thank you all so very much! If I run into any snags, I'll come back here and maybe we can discuss it.

#9 · #9 by **Matt8819** » Aug 12, 2013 4:01 am

Welcome to the forum :cheers:

**#10** · **#10** by **trubble76** » Aug 12, 2013 8:35 am

Welcome aboard :cheers:

Glad you broke free of the sheep to join the herd of cats. :lol:

**#11** · **#11** by **Currahee** » Aug 12, 2013 7:44 pm

I'm a recovering catholic and new here myself.

Welcome! :cheers:

**#12** · **#12** by **zulumoose** » Aug 13, 2013 8:05 am

I'm not an intellectual, and not scientifically inclined. So it may not be so easy for me to embrace atheism.

There is nothing more to atheism than comfortably accepting that there is no good rational reason behind any of the religious claims. The more you investigate this the more you will find it to be true.

You do not have to be able to pick apart the most complicated and scientific arguments around religious issues.

What makes someone a believer is not a complicated argument they cannot understand, it is an acceptance of something that appeals to them on some level, often an emotional level they cannot express clearly.

I would say, from your initial post, that religion has just not hit the spot with you, that it always seemed false, but it had become so much a part of your background and you are so immersed in the culture of it that breaking free is going to be a difficult process.

You have to slowly condition your mind to accept as reality that which you know to be true, and get more comfortable with the idea that the entrenched background that is not based on reality or evidence or in fact anything other than the say-so of people who think differently, should become less prominent. You do not have to fight against a belief that is false, you just have to accept that you no longer believe it. There is nothing to fight if the belief is not there, just entrenched habits that will be replaced by more comfortable habits.

Religion is not necessary for anything.

Becoming Free

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