JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

...is bad for the stock market ...

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JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#1  Postby Calilasseia » Feb 23, 2020 5:52 pm

First of all, you know it's time to sit up and take notice, when a bastion of capitalism such as JP Morgan starts talking about the imminent extinction of the human species. Usually, fat cat corporations pretend that they can continue "business as usual", and it'll only be the plebs that will suffer, not their rich clients. Well, the truth is starting to come out - the same corporations that screwed us all over the past 40 years, and who tried to pretend that the climate scientists were all wrong, are now having to admit they fucked up on a grand scale, and that said fucking up could well mean human extinction in the next 100 years or so.

Second, it's telling that the leaked report (get your own copy here) contains this unusually candid admission on page 15:

It is not only rebel or terrorist groups that can take advantage of climate crises though. Research finds that community elites, such as landowners or corporations, might also use such events to gain influence, by securing aid distribution rights or unfairly claiming land ownership during periods of migration.


Yes, you read it straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak. JP Morgan has, doubtless unwittingly, equated fat cat corporations and Parasite Papers tax dodging rich people with terrorists. But some of us knew that beforehand, without needing a bank to inform us.

Though, you can still see the tired old capitalist thinking coming through, when you realise that all of this analysis, was compiled to produce one conclusion, namely, that, wait for it, human extinction is going to be bad for the stock market.

Well whoop de fucking doo!

Apparently it didn't cross the minds of these people, that human extinction would render the stock market a very dead fucking irrelevance. It's time for this cartoon again folks:

Yes We Destroyed The Planet Version 2.jpg
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EDIT: if you want a direct PDF download without having to sign up to ScribD, then this is your handy link.
Signature temporarily on hold until I can find a reliable image host ...
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#2  Postby theropod_V_2.0 » Feb 23, 2020 9:13 pm

Actually it’s probably too late to stop a mass extinction if all fossil fuel use ended today.

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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#3  Postby Ironclad » Feb 23, 2020 9:34 pm

I'll get the barbed wire, you get the bats.
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#4  Postby theropod_V_2.0 » Feb 24, 2020 12:20 am

There will be no need. When the ocean food chain collapses, which has already started, we will be looking an end Permian level event square in the eye. The last few of us will have little need for defensive measures. We will be so far apart encounters will be rare, if at all.

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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#5  Postby laklak » Feb 24, 2020 12:55 am

Um-humm.
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#6  Postby tuco » Feb 24, 2020 9:23 pm

They need to write another report on automation. How bad for the stock market are people without income so we can rest the question .. what will Amazon packers do when they lose their job to robots?
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#7  Postby theropod_V_2.0 » Feb 25, 2020 8:08 pm

What will the buggy wheelwrights ever do?

Man, an end Permian level event might make robots packing e-commerce sort of useless. Every single mass extinction event, and those of lesser lethality, were driven by ecological change happening faster than natural selection can overcome. Most of these were directly driven by rapid global climate change. We are first hand witnesses to rapid global climate change. Why should we expect the results to be different this time? Isn’t such the very definition of insanity? In a global extinction event a fat stack ain’t going to mean shit. A bunker full of goodies to keep you and yours alive for decades won’t get you to a recovered ecosystem. That might take a couple million years, and without that there will be no survival. Why is it so hard to accept that we, as a species, may have killed ourselves and nearly everything other living thing on the planet? We are greedy, stupid and filthy.

I wish the fuck I didn’t know a thing about earth history sometimes.

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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#8  Postby laklak » Feb 25, 2020 10:59 pm

We're toast, species-wise. But that was always going to be our fate. The fact that we have Big Brains doesn't mean we're exempt from extinction. Everything goes extinct, eventually, for one reason or another.

Except Betty White and Keef, of course.
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#9  Postby Alan C » Feb 25, 2020 11:21 pm

laklak wrote:We're toast, species-wise. But that was always going to be our fate. The fact that we have Big Brains doesn't mean we're exempt from extinction. Everything goes extinct, eventually, for one reason or another.

Except Betty White and Keef, of course.


And Pat fucking Robertson.
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#10  Postby theropod_V_2.0 » Feb 25, 2020 11:55 pm

That would make a great novel, like “The Road”. The quest to find PFR in the post pockylips and whack him, if possible.

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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#11  Postby jamest » Feb 27, 2020 9:00 pm

I think that the stock market will collapse well before humanity.
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Re: JP Morgan: Human Extinction ...

#12  Postby aufbahrung » Feb 27, 2020 9:05 pm

Corvid-19 has potential on a slow burn over a number of decades, no cure for the common cold and the flu takes time to outwit each season. Say this new bug is more like the common cold but kills you in a predictable 1/33 cases. And modern science wont last long with the conseqrunches of the scenario...
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