Atheistic Xmas carol reworkings

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Atheistic Xmas carol reworkings

#1  Postby Keep It Real » Mar 19, 2021 8:35 pm

Summit to do....any more for any more? Edits?




Ding Dong Merrily on High.



Ding dong merrily on high,
In Devon the choirs are singing,

Ding dong verily the pies,
From Greggs are truly filling,

Liiiiiiiiiii-sten here,
Like fairies gods are fiction.



Oh how fine it feels to be,
No more afraid of Hades,

There's no evidence my dear,
It's all made up by crazies,

Liiiiiiiiiii-sten here,
Like fairies gods are fiction.



We are so much better off,
The milk of human kindness,

Really brings about results,
With methods known as science,

Liiiiiiiiiii-sten here,
Like fairies gods are fiction.




Joy to the World.


Joy to the world, The Lord has gone,
Not that, he was, for real!

A superstitious malady,
A lie of great hilarity,

Charles Darwin for the win,
Charles Darwin for the win,
Charles Darwin, Charles Da-arwi-in for the win.



Joy to the earth, true reason reigns,
A plague, religion's dead!

Religion as a tool was blunt,
We people aren't subservient,

There are no spooks on high,
There are no spooks on high,
There are no, there a-are no-o spooks on high.



Truth for the world, no more to hide,
The facts of whence we came,

A copying molecule event,
A spouting hydrothermal vent,

Then complex life evolves,
Then complex life evolves,
Then complex, then co-omple-ex life evolves
You're only conscious when you're thinking about consciousness.
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Re: Atheistic Xmas carol reworkings

#2  Postby Keep It Real » Mar 21, 2021 6:12 pm

This one's pretty brutal...is that a good thing? Should I be proud or have it burnt? Answers on a postcard :whistle:

Once in Royal David's City

Once in Royal David’s city,
Stood a boring cattle shed.
Where a mother laid her baby,
Normal brain cells in his head.
Mary was that mother mild,
Jesus Christ that simple child.

He would grow up to be seven,
And then eight and nine and ten.
Standard in his ways vanilla,
Dull, but later round the bend.
Strange ideas, he had when grown,
Messiah complex of his own.

And our eyes at last shall see him,
For the adult nut he was.
Crazy that he claimed to be god,
Fantasy like Mighty Oz.
Keep his words away from youths,
Lest they be estranged from truths.

Not in that poor lowly stable,
Did a miracle occur.
Just like every other childbirth,
Agonising pain for her.
Later Mary surely sad,
Jesus fated to die mad.
You're only conscious when you're thinking about consciousness.
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Re: Atheistic Xmas carol reworkings

#3  Postby Ironclad » Mar 21, 2021 9:06 pm

Well, fuck you a-merry Christmas
Well, fuck you a-merry Christmas
Well, fuck you a-merry Christmas
And. A. Shitty New Year.

;)
For Van Youngman - see you amongst the stardust, old buddy

"If there was no such thing as science, you'd be right " - Sean Lock

"God ....an inventive destroyer" - Broks
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