#723
by pelfdaddy » Dec 31, 2019 2:08 am
Any time I want to know what I believe, I need only speak to a theist, and they will sling forth voluminously on the subject of what atheism really is, since I clearly have no clue.
There is a sidewalk in back of the plant where I am employed, running the length of the structure, and hugging the brick wall rather closely, offering cool shade from Mr. Sun and frustrating the arctic blasts of winter. It is the favored location of those who partake of the leaf in times of stress. Passing that way this morning, I came upon a coworker furiously texting away while dragging aggressively upon a Marlboro.
An abrupt "Hey!" brought me up short, thinking he had something important on his mind. I waited without speaking, resting my hands in my pockets in anticipation of a long siege from a notoriously chatty soul. I gauged the length of his cigarette, calculating how much time he needed me to help fill.
"I understand you don't believe in God."
"Is that a question?" I asked, with a disarming 'not-to-be-a-dick-or-anything' grin.
"Is that true--are you an atheist?"
"If you had asked me that question four hundred years ago--let's say--it would be tantamount to a warning that I had better run fast."
He seemed to weigh this in both hands, but decided against a direct reply.
"OK", I surrendered, "You got me".
"You know there's no such thing as a true atheist, right? Because if you don't worship God, then you place yourself above Him, and that means that you worship The Self, and that makes you god, in your mind. You're a hypocrite and an idolator, but you're anything BUT an atheist." He admired his acumen while self-administering another pull of life-saving nicotine. He flicked the ashes with a coolness born of long practice.
"Well then let's assume you're correct. I'm an inconsistent, self-worshipping ingrate, who has the definition of the word Atheist all fucked up, and you've just spotted me in the crosshairs and squeezed off a round of reality. I'm dead to rights. Would that make you happy? Would you have proven that you are right and I am wrong?"
He looked down the barrel of his Marlboro, took a quick puff, and blew the smoke out through both nostrils. A small but ragged cough was followed by a Bible quotation, "Have you ever heard where it says 'The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God'?"
I took a sidewards step toward him, regarded him with the expression of an entomologist peering at a fascinating new specimen, and said, "Just so we're clear, does any of this lead one to believe that a perfect being, try as he might, failed to create a perfect world, and then, after it went bad on him, decided to fix everything by way of..." at this point I looked away as though fetching to find the right phrase, then immediately returned my gaze... "blood sacrifice?"
His face tightened.
"Because," I continued, warming to the subject, "I cannot take that seriously, and no thinking adult should. And if you do...that's a problem."
He held his smoke about two inches from his face and squared off at me, declaring "There's almost six billion people in the world who think you're full of shit." I heard a fighting challenge in the way he spat out the last three words. His eyes were filled with the commanding confidence that he stood at the head of an armored cavalry of those same six billion.
I needed him to be calm, so I nodded thoughtfully and mildly stated, "I think you've hit on something very important there."
His face relaxed at the compliment and I could almost hear the clanking of armor as the six billion dispersed, so I concluded, "I think you have correctly identified a world-wide...
public...
mental health...
crisis."
I walked away because you should always leave your audience wanting more. I wish I could report his interesting reply, but alas...it was not. All he could gather and toss at me as he crushed out his glowing butt was, "I guess you think you're pretty funny".
He stopped one step shy of sentencing me to hell. He would never have come up with a plan to solve the world's ailments via blood sacrifice, but I think he took my criticism personally.
Last edited by
pelfdaddy on Dec 31, 2019 6:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.