Hey, if you don't like life, there's the door. Don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out

Okay, that might be a little bit too far. Like, maybe more than a little bit.

Zadocfish2 wrote:

Hey, if you don't like life, there's the door. Don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out

Okay, that might be a little bit too far. Like, maybe more than a little bit.

Why do you think that? Do you really diagnose Andrew as being as depressed about things as he makes out to be? You have to take the shit you read online with a grain of salt sometimes. Otherwise, people with a sad story to tell will keep you busy from now until your own lights go out.

If compassion is your thing, and I see from your avatar that it might be, I guess it goes with that territory that you'd be preaching to other people to be compassionate. Of course, you'd have to have some evidence for your beliefs if you think you have the authority to do that.

Fallible wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:I am not into children like some. I am from the old school "children should be seen and not heard".
I know we need future tax payers so therefore "live and let live".

Imagine having two children when you're 'not into' them and think they should be seen and not heard.

It was not my idea but I did look after them and gave them the best education (Here that does not mean paying for education but making sure they went to the best one possible. My daughter went to the gymnasium which was difficult to get into.)
My son died when he was 36 (adult death syndrome). My daughter went to university and is married with two sons and lives on a house arc in Amsterdam next to the Amstel hotel (a very expensive location).

Any more sarcastic remarks?

I can't imagine people choosing to have children they don't want. If both parents are not up for the idea, it shouldn't happen. There is more to being a parent than just feeding, clothing and educating them.

I can understand that accidents happen, people don't want abortions, and folk decide to make a go of it. Sometimes that turns out for the best, sometimes the child gets a rough ride.

Sendraks wrote:I can't imagine people choosing to have children they don't want. If both parents are not up for the idea, it shouldn't happen. There is more to being a parent than just feeding, clothing and educating them.

I can understand that accidents happen, people don't want abortions, and folk decide to make a go of it. Sometimes that turns out for the best, sometimes the child gets a rough ride.

Once again that is your opinion. You dont know me or my life. It was not an accident.

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:I am not into children like some. I am from the old school "children should be seen and not heard".
I know we need future tax payers so therefore "live and let live".

Imagine having two children when you're 'not into' them and think they should be seen and not heard.

It was not my idea but I did look after them and gave them the best education (Here that does not mean paying for education but making sure they went to the best one possible. My daughter went to the gymnasium which was difficult to get into.)
My son died when he was 36 (adult death syndrome). My daughter went to university and is married with two sons and lives on a house arc in Amsterdam next to the Amstel hotel (a very expensive location).

How does it not being your idea make it any better? It incenses me that people insist upon creating children they don't fucking want, absolutely fucking incenses me. As if the fact that children are given the best schooling and have ended up being able to live somewhere expensive makes up in any way for not being wanted.

Any more sarcastic remarks?

There is nothing sarcastic about my remark. I am deadly serious. Imagine not being into kids, yet having two, then expecting them not to make their presence heard. It beggars belief.

Scot Dutchy wrote:Once again that is your opinion. You dont know me or my life. It was not an accident.

I don't recall commenting directly on anything you said, it was just a general observation. It was clear from your posts that the "accident" part doesn't apply in your case. Therefore I'd only consider the first para of my post to be applicable for the events of your life.

As you say, it is just my opinion. And my opinion is having a negative view of people who choose to bring children into the world despite not wanting them.

Fallible wrote:As if the fact that children are given the best schooling and have ended up being able to live somewhere expensive makes up in any way for not being wanted.

Well said.
If you're not going to love your kids, if you're not going to want your kids, then you shouldn't be having kids.
I don't want kids, I'm in a relationship with someone who a) doesn't want and b) cannot have kids. This works out very well.

If there is a difference of opinion in a relationship on something as serious as whether to have children or not, that relationship probably needs to draw to a close and the people involved can go find someone whose wants and needs better suits their own.

Fallible wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:I am not into children like some. I am from the old school "children should be seen and not heard".
I know we need future tax payers so therefore "live and let live".

Imagine having two children when you're 'not into' them and think they should be seen and not heard.

It was not my idea but I did look after them and gave them the best education (Here that does not mean paying for education but making sure they went to the best one possible. My daughter went to the gymnasium which was difficult to get into.)
My son died when he was 36 (adult death syndrome). My daughter went to university and is married with two sons and lives on a house arc in Amsterdam next to the Amstel hotel (a very expensive location).

How does it not being your idea make it any better? It incenses me that people insist upon creating children they don't fucking want, absolutely fucking incenses me. As if the fact that children are given the best schooling and have ended up being able to live somewhere expensive makes up in any way for not being wanted.

Any more sarcastic remarks?

There is nothing sarcastic about my remark. I am deadly serious. Imagine not being into kids, yet having two, then expecting them not to make their presence heard. It beggars belief.

That was my choice which does not have to conform your ludicrous ideas.

Yes, Scot, what does it matter that you brought two children into the world that you didn't want. That was YOUR choice. It's me that has the ludicrous ideas.

Sendraks wrote:

Fallible wrote:As if the fact that children are given the best schooling and have ended up being able to live somewhere expensive makes up in any way for not being wanted.

Well said.
If you're not going to love your kids, if you're not going to want your kids, then you shouldn't be having kids.
I don't want kids, I'm in a relationship with someone who a) doesn't want and b) cannot have kids. This works out very well.

If there is a difference of opinion in a relationship on something as serious as whether to have children or not, that relationship probably needs to draw to a close and the people involved can go find someone whose wants and needs better suits their own.

Why? We all have different ideas when it comes to having children. I am not into kids like the stupid yummie mummies are who have to take their kids everywhere preferably in a bulletproof SUV which seems the acceptable norm these days. I was more distant but once they arrived I gave them all the attention required.

Fallible wrote::nono:

Yes you dont have a clue.

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote::nono:

Yes you dont have a clue.

Says the man who never sees his daughter or his grandchildren.....

Doubtdispelled wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote::nono:

Yes you dont have a clue.

Says the man who never sees his daughter or his grandchildren.....

That again is my choice and nothing to do with you ok? We all dont have to live by the yummy mummy norms.

Scot Dutchy wrote:Why? We all have different ideas when it comes to having children.

That is point. I can't see why people who have different views on whether to have children, then go and have them. I wouldn't do it. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who wanted kids because, I don't want them. It is a life changing commitment and not one I am going to sign up to. Better the relationship end and the people involved go their separate ways than try to make things work round such a fundamental issue.

Scot Dutchy wrote: I am not into kids like the stupid yummie mummies are who have to take their kids everywhere preferably in a bulletproof SUV which seems the acceptable norm these days.

Being into kids =/= being a yummy mummy.
Actually loving your kids and being interested in them as people = being a good parent.

Scot Dutchy wrote: I was more distant but once they arrived I gave them all the attention required.

[/quote]

So did my step-Dad. I'd like to cut him some slack, but I really can't. He took on the responsibility and care for three kids, but didn't have a clue and didn't really adjust well to dealing with our differing personalities or needs. He tried to apply parenting as he thought it would work for him and got frustrated when it didn't. Consequently he raised three boys who were a mess of a problems as adults that are still works in progress to fix. That we've made our own way in the world is not wholly without thanks to him, but mostly it is a result of our own efforts and sticking to what interested us in spite of him.

He's gotten better as a parent as he's grown older and its pretty clear with his grandchildren, he's not making the same mistakes as he did 30 years ago. A little too late for me but, I can take solace in the fact that lessons have been learned.

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Doubtdispelled wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote::nono:

Yes you dont have a clue.

Says the man who never sees his daughter or his grandchildren.....

That again is my choice and nothing to do with you ok?

Oh, no, it's nothing to do with me, of course. That'll be why I remember you telling us all about it several times. Why do that, if it's nothing to do with anyone else?

Scot Dutchy wrote:We all dont have to live by the yummy mummy norms.

Thankfully, we don't all have to live by your 'norms' either.

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote::nono:

Yes you dont have a clue.

I have exactly as much of a clue as information you've freely given. You had two children despite not wanting them, and think that because you think you gave them 'sufficient' attention, a good education and your daughter lives somewhere expensive, that doesn't matter. This to me is disgusting.

Sendraks wrote:
Being into kids =/= being a yummy mummy.
Actually loving your kids and being interested in them as people = being a good parent.

I was going to say something like that, Sendraks, you beat me to it, although I nearly missed it because your quotes are screwed up.

Fallible wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:

Fallible wrote::nono:

Yes you dont have a clue.

I have exactly as much of a clue as information you've freely given. You had two children despite not wanting them, and think that because you think you gave them 'sufficient' attention, a good education and your daughter lives somewhere expensive, that doesn't matter. This to me is disgusting.

I find it totally disgusting seeing the spoilt brats of the yummy mummies.