Darwinsbulldog wrote:Gallstones wrote:Despite the burden on yourself, this individual is fortunate to have your direct involvement in looking after his/her welfare.
My family prefers the ridicule, blame, be disgusted by and avoid method.
Thanks. I guess those people who do not care much about family or friends who have health issues probably don't turn up to carer's meetings. In mental wards it is not unusual to see folks who don't seem to have many visitors, or none at all. It makes me very sad, as if such people are just "thrown in the trash". The professionals care for them, of course, but where are their families and buddies? People are real cunts sometimes.
I had a brother two years my senior who was schizophrenic damned near his whole life, though his life was not a long one, he died at 48 some years ago now. He never got much care. His episodes would sometimes be so intensely fearful for me I couldn't stick around for fear of my life. But he was a gentle fellow and a good soul most of the time. He spent most of his adult life in prison, US Federal prisons and prisons in California. I visited him in every damned one of dozen prisons he did time in, smuggled drugs ino three or four of them for him, always an adventure.
Our parents stuck by his side until he died, but they we'ren't really in any position to help him. He stayed away mostly, even as a teenager. He was an enigma to the family but they did not ostracize or ridicule him. They always treated him as one of their own when he was around and he seemed to try hard to behave himself in family situations. The disease was progressive with him. It started in grammar school and was bad enough that he quit school in the 8th grade and joined the army. I don't think he ever attended 9th grade. But he was rather bright anyway and read a lot (what you do in prison) and later in life became a notorious jailhouse lawyer.
He never really was a criminal even though he spent all those years in prison. His first stint in the joint occrred because he claimed ownership of a handgun the police found in the glove compartment of a car he was riding in when it got stopped. He did that because the guy who actually owned the pistol was out on parole and my brother knew if they pinned that gun on him he'd be headed back to prison in a heartbeat, and he had a wife and child.
There's a maximum security prison/mental hospital in California at Atascadero, near San Luis Obispo. That's where my brother went for the gun crime, and on an indeterminate sentence no less, i.e. they can keep you as long as they think you're still sick. He served almost five years in that joint.
Eventually, he pulled a brazen bank heist and made it to Mexico with $40,000 before they caught him. That time he went to McNeil Island Federal Penetentiary near Tacoma, Washington, which has been closed in more recent years and was in fact being closed when he was there the second time, in the late 70's. He was among a few remaining inmates there (trustees all) who were engaged in the process of shutting the prison down, packing things up and shipping them out, doing inventories, deciding where stuff should be sent. It wasn't a mothball situation, either, they were shuting the place down for good.
Unbeknownst to them, 100,000 Cubans had recently come from Cuba to the US ("boat people") and many of them had been imprisoned because American officials knew they were bad people. They had 10,000 of them at Fort Chafee, Arkansas, who's families and relatives were encamped outside the facility, screaming and wailing for their men to be let loose. This eventually led to a riot, in which several people were injured, Guards and inmates alike. There may have been some deaths, I don't recall. But it was a real melee.
So my brother's sitting at his desk in the hospital in McNeil Island Federal Pen when he gets a phone call,
"Cease the shut down! We're sending you a thousand Cubans!"My brother worked 20 hours a day for the next two months getting those Cubans settled in McNeil. He spoke good Spanish so that helped. He had to interview every last one of them to record their health situation, what kinds of medications they may be on and did they have a prescription, what about dietary considerations? Is there anything you can't eat? And so on.
After that he was consdered a "short timer" and was moved to the Federal Lockup on Termianl Island in LA Harbor. Not long after arriving there (weeks) he went to a Halfway House in Long Beach and got a job. Cool!
Then Reagan won the election that November and by the next February had closed every federal Halfway House and their occupants were retuned to prison, my brother back to TI. He died in March of that year, 1981. I visited TI not long afterward and chatted with their doctor, the guy who had attended my brother. I asked him what had caused his death.
"Massive heart attack, brought on by decades of prison food." Be careful what you eat.
But I think that two-month non-stop stint at McNeil wore him right out.
I've always thought it was some kind of miracle that he lived as long as he did. He was not overweight and had never suffered any health issues and had adhered to a workout regimen in all those prison years. He kept himself in good condition.
I could tell you some stories, like one morning around four I'm sleeping and the phone rings and it's my brother and he's in Las Vegas and he's
"got news for Howard Hughes!" He told me he was sitting on a $Million bucks and I'd better get there quick if I wanted a cut of it. I was on a 06:00AM flight out of LAX, not for any money but because I could tell he had gone off the rails and I had to go get him (he was on parole in California at the time and wasn't supposed to leave the State, an offense for which he'd of been sent back to the slammer real quick). It took three days to extricate him from Las Vegas, what a nightmare!
There were definitely some episodes in there. But he never harmed a soul to my knowledge and he made it through some pretty exciting adventures in his time, a "wild life" some would say, and they'd not be too far off. I miss him.