Posted: Jan 04, 2011 5:46 pm
So, let's try me:
1. The hero's mother is a royal virgin;
No on both counts - I have older siblings
2. His father is a king, and
Blue collar worker. As "royal" as a Royal baker or tailor
3. Often a near relative of his mother, but
Not even close
4. The circumstances of his conception are unusual, and
As far as I'm aware, bog-standard.
5. He is also reputed to be the son of a god.
Mom might have described Dad that way, but it's unlikely anyone else would. A nice guy, definitely, but not a god.
6. At birth an attempt is made, usually by his father or his maternal grandfather, to kill him, but
No matter how bad I was - no.
7. He is spirited away, and
Another no. A perfect score so far.
8. Reared by foster parents in a far country.
Never moved from home until I became an adult.
9. We are told nothing of his childhood, but
Not much to tell...
10. On reaching manhood he returns to goes to his future kingdom.
See point #8
11. After a victory over the king, and/or a giant, dragon, or wild beast,
Does my kitty-cat count as a giant or wild beast? She's 7 kilos and has a temper...
12. He marries a princess, often the daughter of his predecessor, and
Single, ladies.
13. Becomes king.
In his dreams...
14. For a time he reigns uneventfully, and
See point 13
15. Prescribes laws, but
Only to visitors to apartment - ya want to smoke, take it to the balcony.
16. Later loses favor with the gods and/or his subjects, and
Kitty annoyed at me, but that's different from usual - how, exactly?
17. Is driven from the throne and city, after which
Nope
18. He meets a mysterious death,
Rumour has it, I'm still alive (cue closing theme song to Portal)
19. Often at the top of a hill.
I'm doing science and I'm
Still alive...
20. His children, if any, do not succeed him.
No kids - if I do have any out there somewhere, there's a mother I'm going to be very displeased with for keeping it a secret from me. I guess that's 1.
21. His body is not buried, but nevertheless
Hey! There's a 1! I'm not buried!! That makes two!
22. He has one or more holy sepulchres
I call mine, my "bathroom". There's three.
Total for a typical human being: three.
1. The hero's mother is a royal virgin;
No on both counts - I have older siblings
2. His father is a king, and
Blue collar worker. As "royal" as a Royal baker or tailor
3. Often a near relative of his mother, but
Not even close
4. The circumstances of his conception are unusual, and
As far as I'm aware, bog-standard.
5. He is also reputed to be the son of a god.
Mom might have described Dad that way, but it's unlikely anyone else would. A nice guy, definitely, but not a god.
6. At birth an attempt is made, usually by his father or his maternal grandfather, to kill him, but
No matter how bad I was - no.
7. He is spirited away, and
Another no. A perfect score so far.
8. Reared by foster parents in a far country.
Never moved from home until I became an adult.
9. We are told nothing of his childhood, but
Not much to tell...
10. On reaching manhood he returns to goes to his future kingdom.
See point #8
11. After a victory over the king, and/or a giant, dragon, or wild beast,
Does my kitty-cat count as a giant or wild beast? She's 7 kilos and has a temper...
12. He marries a princess, often the daughter of his predecessor, and
Single, ladies.
13. Becomes king.
In his dreams...
14. For a time he reigns uneventfully, and
See point 13
15. Prescribes laws, but
Only to visitors to apartment - ya want to smoke, take it to the balcony.
16. Later loses favor with the gods and/or his subjects, and
Kitty annoyed at me, but that's different from usual - how, exactly?
17. Is driven from the throne and city, after which
Nope
18. He meets a mysterious death,
Rumour has it, I'm still alive (cue closing theme song to Portal)
19. Often at the top of a hill.
I'm doing science and I'm
Still alive...
20. His children, if any, do not succeed him.
No kids - if I do have any out there somewhere, there's a mother I'm going to be very displeased with for keeping it a secret from me. I guess that's 1.
21. His body is not buried, but nevertheless
Hey! There's a 1! I'm not buried!! That makes two!
22. He has one or more holy sepulchres
I call mine, my "bathroom". There's three.
Total for a typical human being: three.