Posted: Feb 21, 2020 11:24 am
by Spearthrower
He does sound extremist in his politics, and that's just sheer unhealthy behavior on his part... but how and why that should affect his parents and children is where it gets completely unreasonable. He's punishing you and his own kids because you disagree with his politics. That's sad in both senses of the word.

Perhaps try a letter? Write a clearly worded letter expressing how he's entitled to believe whatever he wants, but he shouldn't use his beliefs as grounds for emotional manipulation. Remind him you won't be around forever, and that he's harming his kids too by denying them a relationship with their grandparents. Even in an acrimonious divorce, angrily estranged ex-spouses are obliged to put aside their venom at least to the degree that they allow both parents access to the kids, and it's just as much for the kids sakes as for the adults. Sure, finally, try a conciliatory tone to let him save face or whatever, but be frank otherwise.

The thing about letters is that they're not so easy to close down as spoken conversations. Getting angry and slamming down the phone is easy, and it's hard to 'save face' to pick that phone back up and apologize, but a letter even ignored just sits there waiting to be read. Worst comes to the worst, write to your daughter-in-law and appeal to her sense of familial instincts.

Even if your relationship with your son is irreconcilable, that shouldn't be a reason for him to deny you a relationship with your grandkids.