Posted: Sep 19, 2021 5:31 am
Spearthrower wrote:Agrippina wrote:Spearthrower wrote:Just to toss in the other side here though: even if it's only passing and ephemeral or self-serving, that still seems better than suffering a chronic condition which no one ever acknowledges, believes, or gives a damn about!
This too. "Your "fibromyalgia" and agoraphobia are self-serving. You're too lazy to just get up and sort out your weight problem by eating less... blah blah blah"." Apparently fibromyalgia is "all in your head" and anxiety is self-inflicted negative thinking.
Exactly! When you're already struggling right on the precipice, a friend minimalizing or outright denying your experience can feel like that 'friend' is testing to see just how good your balance is. I think real friends and loved ones should all be engaged in a holding action, lending you their weight to keep you from falling. I'd rather have someone clumsy but sincere than no one there at all.
Many invisible conditions have this added component where it really genuinely is all in your head but that doesn't make the pain or other effects any less real. People can't see it, sure, but it's not like anyone is ignorant that pain doesn't only concur with visible harm, so I don't understand how or why people minimalize or question it.
Then sometimes when you genuinely are seriously injured but know enough how to deal with the injury, and the fear of hospitals its greater than the pain you're experiencing, you get the "if you are really hurting why won't you let us take you to hospital?"
The night before my birthday in 2019, I tripped over an uneven part of the brick paving in our front garden, and landed on my face, breaking facial bones: my nose, my left cheek, and cracking my skull just above my right eye. My youngest daughter-in-law was living with us at the time. The men picked me up when they heard me calling, and she helped me change my clothes, and bathed my superficial wounds. They all stood around telling me about how I needed to go to the emergency room "in case" I'd done serious damage. Agoraphobia caused me to resist saying I was fine, just a bit shocked and that a little brandy and a good night's sleep would make it all better in the morning. I woke up with a blinding headache and two black eyes. The rest of the family were coming to celebrate the birthday the next morning, and the only ones who expressed any sort of concern were the grandchildren who'd never seen a black eye before. The rest of the family did the "you should go to a hospital, there could be underlying damage'" but, knowing me and how I'd have to be literally at death's door before I'd go to a hospital," just carried on.
Then I got the "if you really were that badly injured you would've gone to hospital" from the so-called friends, and one I've since dumped. a couple of months later I needed to see the doctor for my six-montly checkup. He, seeing my face, asked "when diid you break your nose?" which is how I know it was in fact broken along with the cheekbone because of the permanent signs now in place. The point in telling of this is that I have enough knowledge of medicine to know when I need professional help. I have gone to the emergency room before when I couldn't fix the problem myself, so I'll know when it's time. Because of this, when the two men were seriously ill with Covid, I carried on doing what needed to do, despite being sick myself, and it's taken months to get back to "normal" but has taken it's toll in making my spring hay fever worse than before, and my memory unreliable. I can't decide whether the cracked skull (the bone is still sensitive to touch) or Covid have made me lose thoughts, or old age, or whether it's a sign of approaching dementia. Again I should be tested, but what's the point? Example: yesterday I wanted to fix something on my DH"s iPad. I went into his room to fetch it, he asked me a question about something else, I can't remember, and then left the iPad because I still can't remember why I wanted it. And my skull still has twinges of pain. So there's something there: frontal lobe damage, dementia, brain fog, or I've forgotten what the other cause could be. But, "if you were really worried and it was serious you'd go for help" isn't helpful, it's counter-productive. I tend to fall over a lot now too. So I have walking sticks all over the house: because I forget where I left them when I use them to get up from sitting, or lying down.
Sorry I do waffle on. As you all well know.
ETA: I meant to ask about something I read yesterday that the vaccination might not offer protection for as long as first thought. Should I be worried that we get a booster shot in time, or is this not true. I dread the thought of going back to total lockdown again.