Posted: Jan 23, 2021 10:24 pm
by The_Metatron
While posted at FE Warren AFB, Wyoming, the Chief of Maintenance of the communications squadron, a captain, was once tapped for random urinalysis. It's a damned annoying thing, you have to stop whatever it is you're doing to report to the base clinic to piss in a cup under supervision. Yay.

With no officer to supervise this captain, our Maintenance Superintendent was to be his observer. The captain attempted to introduce a foreign bottle of piss. A scuffle ensued. Piss everywhere. Ultimately, this captain was discovered and eventually an unadulterated sample of piss was certainly obtained.

Cannabis use detected. Court Martial!

There are distinct phases in a court martial. A fact finding part, a determining of guilt part, the whining part, and finally the sentencing part. I made it to the last two parts. This captain was found guilty of using marijuana. I got to see the part where he and his wife and anyone else with a sob story told how great a guy this captain was, and spare him his life from this monstrosity, blah, blah.

Most insulting was the whining from his wife who told us how hard it will be for their infant child if her father has to go to prison for a year. A year is the typical length for an unaccompanied tour to some remote duty station. Like every one of us usually has to do, apart from our families. Worse than that though, was the cold fact that this captain would have been the first son of a bitch in line to court martial any one of the 150 enlisted men in his division for the very same thing he was doing.

He was confined for a year and dismissed from the Air Force.