Posted: Nov 24, 2015 5:29 pm
by Sendraks
Thomas Eshuis wrote:
Did that, using the analogy of someone giving him stolen goods.


Thomas Eshuis wrote:The guy who handed back the books said it was all a harmless joke, eventhough the victim was visibly upset, and making it clear he really did not like the situation.
Not to mention I explicitly told them to hand it back.
So even if they did not realise the distress of the victim they should have acknowledged my demand.

I do think they need a lesson in understanding the importance of not projecting their emotions onto others, because its awfully sad to see kids grow up to believe everyone else should be able to "shrug" stuff off as "harmless joke." Otherwise they'll grow up to be sad, emotionally stunted individuals lacking in empathy.

I'm not quite sure how you go about this, although acknowledging that whilst there are far worse things that they could do (to be clear you have perspective on this), they really need to try and think outside the box in terms of how other people might feel.

Thomas Eshuis wrote:I suggested to their tutor/counsellor that we have two separate talks, one with the victim and one with the culprits. I want the victim to feel safe during my lessons so I need to get an idea of his relation to the rest of the class and how we can improve the situation.

Good plan. There may well be a history between the culprits and the victim and this incident could be the "straw that broke the camel's back."

If its a genuine one off event, signs of distress in a teenager like that could indicate some sort of underlying mental health problem (anxiety, depression) that need tackling.

Thomas Eshuis wrote:At the same time, it needs to be made clear to the culprits that their behaviour is completely unacceptable, even if they think it's a harmless joke.

Indeed - its a classroom and they should keep their "jokes" to their own time and ideally between their friends, rather than people outside of that social circle.