Posted: Nov 25, 2015 11:37 am
by Doubtdispelled
Agi Hammerthief wrote:some kids are bullying magnets.

Yes, there are some unfortunates who, for various reasons, are more likely to be the targets of bullies, and when I worked in school I also came across a version of a 'bully magnet' who seemed to be the architect of several incidents due to his habit of creating the very scenarios which would lead the other kids into having a go at him. Rather than avoiding a group he had a history with, he seemed to be deliberately putting himself in their way, and then he would scream blue murder if anything happened. I remember one incident when a few boys began stone throwing, joking around with their mates (not that stone throwing was in any way approved of, mind!) and instead of absenting himself he would hang around the area where this was taking place.

I couldn't understand his behaviour, so after yet another hoo-ha I spoke to his head of year, who explained the concept of 'provocative victim' to me, and it all became much clearer.

Provocative victims represent a small group of children who often behave in ways that arouse negative responses from those around them, such as anger, irritation, and exasperation. They possess a cluster of characteristics that are likely to disrupt a classroom and lead to social rejection by peers, including irritability, restlessness, off-task behavior, and hostility. Although they are a distinct subgroup, provocative victims often display characteristics of other groups of children as well — including pure bullies (i.e., they have elevated levels of dominant, aggressive, and antisocial behavior and low levels of tolerance for frustration) and passive victims (i.e., they are socially anxious, feel disliked by others, and have low self-esteem).

He definitely worked at making himself appear to be as different from his peers as possible, and to be quite honest, I found working with him very challenging. He was not open to being helped, or to listen to any advice, and blamed everyone else for everything. Then I met his father, and all became even clearer still. Poor boy.