Posted: Dec 11, 2010 9:44 pm
by ChasM
The Damned wrote: I had a good grounding as child, I pushed the barriers but the line was clear, you crossed it you got a metaphorical slap, I don't think a lot of children have a decent line nowadays.

That's the nub of the problem for permissive parents: they keep allowing the line to be drawn back - for the most part out of fear of hurting their child's feelings or self esteem. Kids aren't stupid; they know that apparently sincere words from parents can evaporate when push comes to shove. And parents hardly realize that kids aren't looking to their words, but their actions.

A lot of parents these days want to be their kids' buddies rather than their parents, particularly in divorce situations (of which I find myself in, but fortunately for our daughter, her mother and I are pretty much on the same page as far as discipline).
children are no different than they were 200 thousand years ago, to excel all they need is a decent role model, and someone who hasn't forgotten what its like to be a child also.


Animavore wrote:I remember being a child and I remember adults patronising me and thinking I was fucking stupid :nono:I don't get why adults do this. Do they not, also, remember being a child?

For the most part, it's an authority thing. It's a common bias that the majority of people believe themselves to be right on most issues, and that their life experience and beliefs, accrued through a few decades of learning, counts for more than the simple wisdom of children (e.g., when children ask questions or make assertions to the absurdity of, say, God, they'll most likely get patronizing apologetics or a stick to the behind). Also, parents and adults tend to forget their own childhoods, but remember their authority models and their methods.

Another thing: in today's overcrowded world, with excessive work obligations and media sensory overload, parents tend to take shortcuts in dealing with their kids because of limited time. And appeal to authority is a shortcut.