Posted: Oct 13, 2012 1:33 am
by Final Fantasy
I'm an atheist ex-Muslim in secret. I'm in my final year of university. I'll hopefully try to find my own place to stay and a steady income of cash. I am very worried for my 2 sisters and brother though.

For so long I have put off relationships with women etc. because it would have to be in secret. I tried it once, it failed depressingly :(

The idea is, finding a graduate job, settling down and getting married etc. I would rather not marry at all or have children because my preference is strongly anti-religion. Going against family wishes means breaking ties, at the same time I love my parents (despite teh fucking abuse my siblings and I get). My mum would be devastated and traumatised, I cannot be the cause of that. I also want a safe route out for my siblings, they are smart, I know they are not too fond of Islam. But what can they do about it? They're in high school and financially dependant on my parents, we all are.

It's a heavy burden, I have anxiety, panic and insomnia as a result, it has gradually accumulated over the years (I suspect childhood abuse and school bullying played a large rule). I feel like a mess basically in a huge dilemma.

I always feel constantly judged by others, maybe I'm being paranoid but I get a lot of nasty looks from white people as if they have a strong hatred towards me... (I hate how many people assume that just because you're brown skin you must be Muslim...) - this is Plymouth area btw.

I have no one to talk to, or confide in.

The advice that I took on board by a member of another forum:

You can't convince them. They are not able to accept that you rejected their religion on evidences, because if they were to accept that, then that means that their religion CAN be rejected by an intelligent person on the basis of evidence. They can't allow themselves to believe that because they need their religion to be true. They need to believe that there is substantial evidence for their religion.

Their world would fall apart if they realized it wasn't as they think it is. Too much is at stake for them. It is very very hard to lay your religious beliefs on the line, TRULY look at them from a critical distance, because you have so much tied up with that religion. It gives you emotional support, it forms your entire worldview, it is part of your self-identity and it is the most important element of your life. It is frightening to even consider that it may be false. So people are not able to see the evidence you put before them, because they are not looking at it objectively at all.

You can only have any effect with your evidences on those who are truly willing to look at them with true objectivity. But that person is rare. They are out there, obviously you were able to do it. So you can only do so much in convincing people.

It helped a few years ago, but thinking long-term, things don't look great for me right now...

Any help? I've difficulty making friends, and even then, they don't know the full story or understand it (unless you're Asian).