Posted: Jun 20, 2015 1:16 am
by tolman
Keep It Real wrote:That's the mystery in my mind - why everybody isn't homophobic. Maybe some people are so sure of their sexual orientation they refuse to believe they could catch teh gay. Perhaps we're right; perhaps not.

It's not really a mystery to me.
I grew up with typical childish homophobia at a point when gay people tended to be relatively hidden, apart from the odd camp media personality, so were definitely very 'other', and was then exposed to its laddish continuation at a very male university.

Looking back, I'm not at all sure what my attitudes were in my early 20s - I may well have laughed along at jokes for fear of standing out, but I would have done the same for sexist jokes I didn't really find funny, and I did used to find it slightly strange looking at the sea of leather when my beer-fuelled sprint cycle route from pub to home took me past the Coleherne at closing time, but I do know that when various close friends came out, my reaction, apart from being slightly surprised and concerned for how other people might treat them was essentially 'meh'.

Maybe I was in an odd situation - I wasn't particularly interested in sex before I was adult, and when I was a young adult, the environment was so male (and so geeky) that having male friends who were single wasn't at all odd.

But basically, I just grew up and learned stuff, and I would likely have done so sooner had there been meaningful numbers of 'normal' gay public figures, rather than me having to wait to find out that various normal friends (or at least people as normal as I was) were actually gay.
What strikes me as odd is why some people just don't seem to grow up.

But from a cod-psychology-evolutionary point of view, why should a straight male be scared if some men are gay - doesn't that simply improve their own chances?