Posted: Jun 20, 2015 2:10 pm
by tolman
SpeedOfSound wrote:Agreed. But you see the subtlety here don't you? We have taken 'homophobic' and made it about bigoted attitudes and beliefs. What word do we use for just having the feeling of not wanting to see sex that does not attract us?

'Selective attraction to images of sex'.

It does seem that with regard to images of sex, for many people there may not be much of a middle ground between attraction and repulsion, but it's not clear that repulsion needs to come in particular strengths if its purpose is not to judge others but simply to define or reflect one's own preferences.
I really wouldn't want to visualise a morbidly obese straight couple having sex, a couple of 90-year-olds having sex, my parents having sex, or any of my gay friends having sex, so I refrain from such visualisations.

SpeedOfSound wrote:But it seems to me that if we understand our biology we can do something about behavior when our biology rears it's often ugly head. If we pretend we don't have feelings of repulsion ever then we are more likely to find them coloring our beliefs.

I do have feelings of repulsion, but I understand that they don't necessarily do any more than reflect my own orientation at this present time. Just as when I was 18 I wouldn't have found the idea of people of my current age having sex attractive, presumably if I live to 90 I'd feel differently about thinking of 90-year-old naked women.

SpeedOfSound wrote:In a sense in the California kind of world it is still a sin to have certain feelings. Only in Hollywood that set of sinful feelings changes around about every twenty years.

There's a difference between having personal feelings and thinking that everyone else should share one's own feelings.
There's also a huge difference between finding thoughts of some kinds of sex personally unattractive and therefore not thinking about them and finding them unattractive but feeling compelled to think and judge and talk about them to the detriment of others and the seeming advantage of no-one.

The odd thing about the classic homophobe is that presumably many of them would find the thought of elderly people having sex unattractive yet they would be entirely capable of talking to an elderly couple who were holding hands without having to continually imagine hem having sex.

But possibly that's a self-sustaining thing?
The more that some people feel compelled to talk about gay sex as if it was all that gay men ever did, the harder it may be for other people to simply not think about it?