rationalskepticism.org

Keep It Real wrote:I have an unhealthyworld view, where all my failings and accomplishments are attributed to genetic and environmental influences beyond my control. If only I could snap out of it and take responsibility for my actions...that feeling of accountability would surely spur me on to take pride and feel guilt about my deeds, leading to improved behavior. Just the thought to take responsibility is all that would be required, but is it possible to take responsibility for something one is not truly in control of? Thoughts?

First, fuck guilt. It is a useless emotion that never did anyone any good but the person trying to control another person.

Second, you ALWAYS have control. Where many people falter is in thinking that "having control" means having absolute control. Every action you do is preceded by a choice, A or B. Sometimes, each choice will be equally simple to do. Other times, one may be more difficult. You're a smoker? If A = smoke a cigarette and B = "don't smoke a cigarette," that may be more difficult, but it isn't impossible. The trick, I think, is recognizing the control you DO have and act on that. In time, you'll learn you have more control than you thought you did, but no one has absolute control. It may appear they do to you, but they don't.

You seem to think in very idealistic terms. Stop that! It never did anyone any good. It may be a carryover from your religious indoctrination. Things are neither good nor bad unless YOU decide they are for YOU. Ask yourself are your expectations of yourself coming from you or are they someone else's expectations of you that you've adopted as your own? You use the word "deeds." Sounds like "doing a good deed." Or, "what an evil deed." Religion? You say "improved behavior?" Again, sounds like living up to someone else's expectations.

While you may have obstacles and challenges that make certain choices difficult for you while the choice is a breeze to someone else, recognize that there are things that you do easily that they find challenging. Sometimes, we also have to accept help in any form that helps us achieve our goals. If depression has you absolutely immobilized and the only way you can function is to take anti-depressants, then ffs, CHOOSE to take the medication! Recognize, with your doctor's assistance that your brain chemistry isn't allowing you to live the life YOU want, accept that you can't choose to not be depressed because of your won physiology. The control that you DO have is in whether or not to take the medication. It isn't cheating. You win! You choose. Take the medication and life is better, if not downright great!! Or don't take the medication and suffer emotional immobilization.

I don't know you well, obviously. So, take my advice with a grain of salt. But it does sound like you're allowing someone else, maybe someone from your distant past, to direct your thoughts. Even this isn't outside your control, but recognizing that influence is essential if it exists.