Posted: Apr 26, 2016 12:01 am
by The_Piper
crank wrote:
The_Piper wrote:I never said I would never, but I can't remember ever wishing anyone was dead. Not even when I was a kid. Nowhere did I or Scot judge people who have. I understand it's a normal thing sometimes, to wish someone were dead, but that doesn't mean I have to have thought that before. Call it a bad way to think if you want, as if that wouldn't be irritating to me now?

About being on a death bed being a vague statement and not always applying, well, I know what I'm talking about. Without professional intervention, medicine, his going along with the program, and a lot of luck on top of that, he'd have died. It's probably all of that that's keeping him alive still.
Why have you wished a loved one dead? That seems to be more dependent on specific circumstances that not everyone experiences.

You're right you didn't say it, you did thumbs up the statement, I was responding to the statement, and you responded to my response. Few are ever put in a position to want such a thing, excepting the medical/quality of life thing, but it's always a possibility. That's why to me it's a glib, empty thing to say, though not as bad as 'everything happens for a reason'. Those people I almost would give an OK to want dead.

I don't doubt your knowing about your father, that doesn't mean the phrase isn't vague and used in a wide variety of ways, some more dire than others. Clearly, your dad had a chance, many don't, the only question is one of how much more they will have to put up with. Most anyone in the medical profession will tell you about that, most of them have pull-the-plug documents prepared. There are many not about to die, and the horror of that is more than they can bear. These aren't the most pleasant things to discuss, but the reticence of so many to even think about them is what puts them or their families in the difficult position of having to under the worst conditions.

Twice I've faced these circumstances, brother and father. My dad wasn't really suffering I don't think, he was just gone. When I saw my brother, I had to try to figure out a way to ask him if he wanted me to help him go away, but less than 2 hours later he was gone. I would have done anything he asked of me, though, and with a clear conscience. Today's medicine, at least in the US, is so fucked up, if you haven't had to face this yet, hope that luck holds. The hospitals and doctors are forced through legal BS, poorly informed patients/family, overly religious patients/family, and other factors to be party to torturing their patients, for years sometimes. A rather amusing thing, at least to me, was after my brother died, someone in the hospital room asked if I wanted to say goodbye to him, I looked up in weird confusion for a bit before I realized they actually thought I'd want to go talk to his body, I hope the revulsion I felt at the realization wasn't too evident on m face.

:thumbup: :tongue: :lol:
Sorry to hear about your brother, Crank. But maybe the hospital employee wanted to give you a chance to see him as he was, not actually talk to his body, using the phrase "say goodbye" as a figure of speech?