The fidgets.

"The fidgets" sound like such a cute and innocuous phenomenon....wasn't one of the little people in Time Bandits called Fidget?

Keep It Real wrote:Yup; I of course think that I am not the only one who suffers from this condition. Hope he manages to stay off the sauce John.

From what I can tell his drinking usually centered round social interactions. But sometimes, often because of some stressor in his life, for example this time he failed a course he was taking at night, he started doing shots in the bar and that eventually led to some psychotic state that got him in serious trouble. But the psychosis didn't need the alcohol to kick in. About a year before this incident he was in some very paranoid state and decided he needed to modify fireworks by taping nuts around them for home defense - and I don't think any alcohol was involved in that decision. The alcohol induced psychosis is when those "weapons of mass destruction," as the police describe them, came out. Fortunately no bombs were exploded and nobody was hurt.

I can't stress enough how much my familie's denial systems, including my own, at all levels failed to do enough to prevent this. Even now some of them blame the police for overreacting. It's not like we didn't try to get him help. And he had a lot of psychological help but they didn't give him the help he needed - I don't know why. And we minimized what were obvious signs of a serious problem. In his case, the meds don't seem to have any bad effects. Hopefully he'll be able to be treated in a non prison oriented program.

So I decided to go back on the antipsychotics around 5 days ago - got arrested yet again for AIP - another night in the torture chamber and multiple medium level physical injuries. I thought "I can't go on like this" so gave them another try. Unfortunately I've had to stop taking them again however because the side effects are just unbearably dreadful for me these days - chief amongst them are akathisia, anhedonia and a kind of nauseating, spinning perceptual anomy which is frankly agonising. I'm at a loss as to how to proceed.

Sorry, it sounds really hard. Can they try other meds that have less severe side effects for you?

John Platko wrote:The alcohol induced psychosis is when those "weapons of mass destruction," as the police describe them, came out. Fortunately no bombs were exploded and nobody was hurt.

When I was arrested this latest time I was wearing (well designed/manufactured lol) home made body armour.

John Platko wrote: It's not like we didn't try to get him help. And he had a lot of psychological help but they didn't give him the help he needed - I don't know why. And we minimized what were obvious signs of a serious problem.

The other night, while the antipsychotics were still strongly present in my brain, I was in bed trying to get to sleep, my face contorted in anguish, with tears in my eyes repeating aloud to myself "they're trying to help me."

John Platko wrote:Sorry, it sounds really hard. Can they try other meds that have less severe side effects for you?

I'd rather spend a week in the torture chamber than experience these side effects (particularly the "perceptual anomy") again so I will not be giving any antipsychotics a try for the foreseeable future. It is really hard. Me and my bloody mental health

I feel much better now BTW fam, even compared to 6 hours ago; luckily these antipsychotics don't have a very long half life.

I'm a bit worried about you appearing to go on and off powerful medication without the guidance or monitoring of a medical
professional.

I'm not.

BTW know again that it warms my shackles when you show concern for my well-being. The people I currently know who can do that I can count on two, if not one hand(s).

I currently consider all of the mental health professionals in my locality to be inferior to me in their appraisal and recommended treatment methods (if any) for me. I am the expert on my mental health. This morning I did put a new strategy in place to try and prevent another occurrence of AIP. I wrote a letter headed to "dear officers." I'm not going to say what I wrote, but on the front of the envelope I sealed it in I wrote: "To be read by the police in the unfortunate event of my needing to be arrested." The envelope has a bright red and blue lining, and I keep it in my wallet, so every time I buy something I am reminded of that letter.

Well that looks like it might be a good idea, but you ent an expert on your mental health. I mean you're not capable of managing your drinking or your medication so that your mental state is not adversely affected, or as little affected as possible. I don't expect this to mean anything to you now, but I notice that when you are going through a bad time with your health you become stubborn and impervious to advice or suggestions, and convinced that you're right. This could be dangerous.

Fallible wrote:I notice that when you are going through a bad time with your health you become stubborn and impervious to advice or suggestions, and convinced that you're right. This could be dangerous.

I'll try to bear this in mind if and when somebody offers me some powerful/effective advice. Thanks.

ETA: no pun intended.

Keep It Real wrote:I'm not.

BTW know again that it warms my shackles when you show concern for my well-being. The people I currently know who can do that I can count on two, if not one hand(s).

I currently consider all of the mental health professionals in my locality to be inferior to me in their appraisal and recommended treatment methods (if any) for me. I am the expert on my mental health.

I can understand why you don't trust the people that have not be effective in helping you, but is there some medical professional you do trust? Do you have a physician you trust? Perhaps they could act as the anchor for your health care and find mental health professionals that are more effective at treating you and also be a place where you can go to when treatment is not working for you. Then they could interact with the mental health care providers to make adjustments, and you would still be ultimately controlling your health care via your input to a doctor you do trust.

It's not so much that I don't trust them John, it's just that when it comes to my head I consider them relatively incompetent these days. I know a thing or three about psychology to boot, as you may well have gathered. Not the average patient.

Keep It Real wrote:It's not so much that I don't trust them John, it's just that when it comes to my head I consider them relatively incompetent these days. I know a thing or three about psychology to boot, as you may well have gathered. Not the average patient.

I get that. And let's just asume you're right, you've had incompetent mental health care. That doesn't mean all mental health care is incompetent, although it's surely limited by what is known in 2018. You've had experience with what sometimes works and what doesn't work for you but the competent doctors have experience with a lot of people, they can try to match your situation with other similar ones and use the knowledge of what worked and what didn't work. I'm thinking your odds are better if the experience of others is helping you.

Is there no doctor that you really trust? I know what it's like not to be able to trust mental health care providers and I'm not sure what I would do if I didn't have any doctor that I could trust. I hope I would keep looking for someone I could work with. I'm sorry you have to go through all this. I really think it's too much to go through without medical help.

Like I said I'm no ordinary patient - actually I don't consider myself to be a patient at all - and neither do the professionals (money?) ATM. Paraphrased:

Wow I really do smoke Sigmund

It's about time somebody did

John Platko wrote:Is there no doctor that you really trust?

I do listen to a certain economic (gambling) psychologist who I'm in contact with from time to time yes.

As for psychiatry Shrunk has barely replied with so much as two paragraphs to any of my posts/threads; and only that much on one occasion IIRC. actually fuck that I'm coming for your jobs.

Keep It Real wrote::evilgrin: I'm coming for your jobs.

Let's see how fast I can do this. Monday tomoz.

KIR, chill out.

Keep It Real wrote:As for psychiatry Shrunk has barely replied with so much as two paragraphs to any of my posts/threads; and only that much on one occasion IIRC. actually fuck that I'm coming for your jobs.

Since when was shrunk obliged to?

Fallible wrote:KIR, chill out.

I have about 1000 hrs of heavy deep DnB to listen to so that's gonna be hard fal m8

BlackBart wrote:

Keep It Real wrote:As for psychiatry Shrunk has barely replied with so much as two paragraphs to any of my posts/threads; and only that much on one occasion IIRC. actually fuck that I'm coming for your jobs.

Since when was shrunk obliged to?

Since when were you "obliged" to make that comment BB?