That's great, talkie. And only a week for counselling, fantastic.

I would say the best guideline would be try to minimize medication as much as comfortably possible. Don't rule them out, just look for alternatives first then medicate if and as needed.

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I would say the best guideline would be try to minimize medication as much as comfortably possible. Don't rule them out, just look for alternatives first then medicate if and as needed.

I always do, but I need something to keep me balanced with the life I have at the moment. I usually try to minimise medication, I have only been to the doctors twice in 16 years and it all has happened in the last 3 months.

talkietoaster wrote:

Scot Dutchy wrote:I was very depressed when my girlfriend died in 2002 and suffered from severe panick attacks.

I was given medication and saw a psychotherapist. The medication just kept me stable and stopped the panick attacks taking control of me.

I saw the psychotherapist for 7 months and also ended up in a self help group which did a lot of good.

Now I have cronic tinnitus. There is nothing physically that can be done. I have seen a psychologist and she recommended me to a psychotherapist who specialises in tinnitus treatment. The only thing it will be October before she can treat me. Apparently she is the only one in the Netherlands with this specialism.

The tinnitus has one very bad side effect. I get tinnitus attacks during which I lose complete control and can do anything (very scary). I am taking daily Oxzepam which stops the attacks occuring and keeps me quiet.

I hope October comes round quicker for you. I have a colleague at work I just met today that has Tinnitus, horrible stuff. Thanks for your input its useful getting a consensus.

Thanks Talkie

Its pretty strange how my mood is changing at the moment. I am keeping a diary and trying to monitor it the best I can but sometimes you get caught up in it. I seem to be very abrupt today, mind you all my colleagues at work keep asking ''Are you alright?'' I have said yes everytime but as great british tradition has it, they have to keep asking. The current total is 9 times today from 2 people.

Do you find that people can sense tension in your mind and how it reflects yourself, even though you try to hide it?

Yeah. Trying to hide it takes effort, this then shows up in your face, behaviour and body.

Fallible wrote:Yeah. Trying to hide it takes effort, this then shows up in your face, behaviour and body.

I thought I usually had a good poker face, but I guess when I change my behaviour people sub consciously pick up in it.

Unless they normally ask you several times a day if you're ok.

I've had the black dog. I've had it about as bad as it gets. But that was a decade ago now and it's never been back. So the first thing I want to say to you, talkie, is that it CAN be beat. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

For me the talking therapy was key. About four years in all - I was fortunate enough to find a supremely excellent therapist who wasn't expensive, and just patiently worked through it for as long as it took.

But the thing about depression is that it's self-fuelling. You feel depressed about not getting on with stuff in your life, or having a social life or whatever. But because you're depressed, you CAN'T get on with stuff and go meet people, so you stay that way, and it gets worse. The value of medication is that it can break that cycle. It can give you the ability to make changes. Even if that ability is temporary and "artificial" it doesn't matter - the changes still get you moving on a different path, which can continue after you stop the medication. You need to be in a place where you have an inkling what kinds of changes you want to make though, and be properly dedicated to making them.

I took seroxat for about 18 months as part of my recovery process, and it did a lot of good. I'm skeptical about people who just think "oh I'm depressed, get some drugs" without attending to the rest of it though. I can't see how that can work, on it's own, long term.

Oh, yeah, they are life savers. It's like taking chemo for cancer, very valid. I've been on anti depressants for 4 years now. They really help me, I couldn't do it on my own.

Good luck with everything.

Beatsong wrote:I've had the black dog. I've had it about as bad as it gets. But that was a decade ago now and it's never been back. So the first thing I want to say to you, talkie, is that it CAN be beat. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

For me the talking therapy was key. About four years in all - I was fortunate enough to find a supremely excellent therapist who wasn't expensive, and just patiently worked through it for as long as it took.

But the thing about depression is that it's self-fuelling. You feel depressed about not getting on with stuff in your life, or having a social life or whatever. But because you're depressed, you CAN'T get on with stuff and go meet people, so you stay that way, and it gets worse. The value of medication is that it can break that cycle. It can give you the ability to make changes. Even if that ability is temporary and "artificial" it doesn't matter - the changes still get you moving on a different path, which can continue after you stop the medication. You need to be in a place where you have an inkling what kinds of changes you want to make though, and be properly dedicated to making them.

I took seroxat for about 18 months as part of my recovery process, and it did a lot of good. I'm skeptical about people who just think "oh I'm depressed, get some drugs" without attending to the rest of it though. I can't see how that can work, on it's own, long term.

Thanks for the post.

It did really help me to relax and think for a moment. Currently I haven't been doing the exercise I usually love to do for several months now, I keep trying to gear myself up to do it, but when it gets to that point to do it. I lose all motivation and I start this cycle of hating myself saying things to myself like you are being lazy, no excuses for not doing that, are you a failure or something!! etc....

I think like you said and what my wife said yesterday is, don't focus on trying to be the person on before you were depressed. How about relax and let the medication work, let the counselling start making you feel better and you may find you will start doing what you use to do naturally as I feel better.

That's good advice IMO. Acceptance can be difficult but self-criticism doesn't actually help you get where you want to go.

Fallible wrote:That's good advice IMO. Acceptance can be difficult but self-criticism doesn't actually help you get where you want to go.

Are you seriously thinking I go to my wife and say you are right? You know she will never let that go lol.

talkietoaster wrote: I think like you said and what my wife said yesterday is, don't focus on trying to be the person on before you were depressed. How about relax and let the medication work, let the counselling start making you feel better and you may find you will start doing what you use to do naturally as I feel better.

There's another important point hidden in there too. You're not going to become "the person you were", and holding onto the idea of doing that may actually make recovery slower.

You're depressed for a reason, and that reason may well have something to do with some aspect of your live as it is that hasn't been working properly, some aspect of the way you think about things that needs changing, some assumption you have that you need to let go of and get beyond, or whatever.

Whatever it is, the key to coming out the other side is CHANGE. Getting well is not a question of going back to how you were before you were depressed (when you probably did have the problems in germinal form, you just didn't realise it). It's a question of going forward to whatever kind of healthy functioning person you will become who includes within himself what you're learning now from being depressed.

Changing is challenging.

Beatsong wrote:

talkietoaster wrote: I think like you said and what my wife said yesterday is, don't focus on trying to be the person on before you were depressed. How about relax and let the medication work, let the counselling start making you feel better and you may find you will start doing what you use to do naturally as I feel better.

There's another important point hidden in there too. You're not going to become "the person you were", and holding onto the idea of doing that may actually make recovery slower.

You're depressed for a reason, and that reason may well have something to do with some aspect of your live as it is that hasn't been working properly, some aspect of the way you think about things that needs changing, some assumption you have that you need to let go of and get beyond, or whatever.

Whatever it is, the key to coming out the other side is CHANGE. Getting well is not a question of going back to how you were before you were depressed (when you probably did have the problems in germinal form, you just didn't realise it). It's a question of going forward to whatever kind of healthy functioning person you will become who includes within himself what you're learning now from being depressed.

Changing is challenging.

Thats a great point. I don't want to go back the way it was, just the stuff I loved like exercise. I think I have accepted changed is paramount or I will be in a cycle of feeling better and relapsing the rest of my life.

Also its very strange yesterday, I have a panic or anxeity attack. I was able to control it and relax with breathing control but most importantly my wife talking to me.

Does it happen when you accept you are depressed, when previously you were denying it to yourself. Does your body begin to feel different? Like get anxiety or panic attacks. It feels like my body and mind are starting to agree in how I am feeling. Its hard to explain, if I am taking drivel just shout get your coat!

In a rush at work atm but briefly - a panic attack that seems to come from nowhere rarely does, there is some underlying trigger. Then you become very aware of any slight variations in your body, like increased breathing or pulse rate and this in turn causes the anxiety levels to increase, causing more bodily syptoms and so on and so on, round and round in a self-fuelling cycle. Yeah, maybe you've begun to realise what you're going through and it's panicked you?

Fallible wrote:In a rush at work atm but briefly - a panic attack that seems to come from nowhere rarely does, there is some underlying trigger. Then you become very aware of any slight variations in your body, like increased breathing or pulse rate and this in turn causes the anxiety levels to increase, causing more bodily syptoms and so on and so on, round and round in a self-fuelling cycle. Yeah, maybe you've begun to realise what you're going through and it's panicked you?

It could be that I reached full acceptance yesterday, that I am depressed. I seem to worry if I get really bad to the point I can't leave the bed for example, then I think if that happens, my son will suffer, I will lose my two jobs etc.... I try to knock the apocalyptic thinking as it happens. I think it was just a case of worry too much about the unknown in my recovery. I got my first date for counselling, I have it for September. I thought it was quicker than that but it seems the doctor was talking about get the a response for my first appointment in a week.

Oh by the way I told my wife she was right and agreed with the advice. Maybe that triggered the attack