Depression

talkietoaster · **#61** by **talkietoaster** » Jul 19, 2013 11:30 am

Agrippina wrote:talkietoaster, sorry I've only just come to this thread now. I feel for you. Depression has ruled me for most of my adult life, and finally when I lost all control over the overwhelming responsibilities I had in 2002, I actually did take an overdose. Luckily my family were around and they forced me to vomit the pills up before taking me to a doctor. My DH took a day off work to make sure that I saw a doctor and a therapist, and with the help of prozac and some conscious changing of my life, I recovered.

Then in 2011, as most people here are aware, I had a huge financial loss that caused me to go off the deep end again. Again my DH wanted me to seek help but I was too far into my self-loathing to want to look for it, so I spent almost a year just sitting in front of the TV, stuffing my face with food and refusing to even go to the shops to buy the food I wanted to eat. I just kept looking for fights with my family, knowing that I was doing this deliberately as a self-fulfilling proof that I wasn't even worthy of having the love of my family. Then my life changed, and we moved to our new house, I took control of my eating, weight and attitude at the end of last year, and am now not only no more on anti-depressants but also coming off all my other medication as well.

My point in telling the story is that there is help out there. Get it, talk about it, take the medication but be careful, as you've been told some of them can make you experience suicide ideation, but as Fallible as said, see a therapist.

I have to say this again, but the friendship and support I got from my Ratskep friends played a huge part in my recovery.

Thank you for your post, :hug:

I am finding this thread very useful in expressing and giving perspective on my situation.

Just to let you know, I am taking the medication without a problem and will be recieving counselling soon enough. :mrgreen:

talkietoaster · **#62** by **talkietoaster** » Jul 19, 2013 11:32 am

Agrippina wrote:
talkietoaster wrote:Update

I had a good weekend, on Satuday we did a Car Boot Sale only sold half the stuff we had but made £200. I felt relaxed over the weekend but it seems I am going through a phase with the medication. I seem to zone out for bit after I have took the medication. However, I do seem little tired but I do feel better somewhat, like making jokes, laughing etc... I seem to have anxiety issues and I try to critically think about my anxious thoughts. It seems to help breakdown the effect, by making them seem silly. For example, You are not doing enough for your family you are a crap father and husband - then I would list all the things I do for my family in my head, hold on to the positives.

That's what my therapist told me to do. Look for what's good in your life and what is good for you too.

Good to know I am on the right tracks. :mrgreen:

Also I have a sick sense of humour, I read Therapist as the rapist. :lol:

Agrippina · **#63** by **Agrippina** » Jul 19, 2013 3:01 pm

I've heard a newsreader say that.

Great that you're finding talking about it useful. I was very embarrassed the first time I had a major falling-apart. Seeing a therapist helped me get over it. Now I don't care if people think I'm odd because I'm not embarrassed about having been ill. If they're uncomfortable because they think mental illness has some woo component, then I'm happy for them. I'm more thrilled about being able to socialise again, and mostly, to be able to drive myself around without wanting to rush home and lock the door to keep people out.

talkietoaster · **#64** by **talkietoaster** » Aug 06, 2013 9:11 am

Update -

I had my first counselling session yesterday. I had one of those moments that hits you in the face but also unburdens you with the problem. I feel pretty relieved but have some work to do because I didn't realise how messed up I was before I started (ignorance is truely bliss), but I feel confident now I identified the problem I can work on it.

I think the counsellor finds me interesting because I was processing thoughts and feelings differently then she would usually see in other patients. Not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing, but I guess it more professional curiousity.

I had started to feel withdrawal syptoms because I forgot to pick up my prescription on friday and went the whole friday, saturday, sunday and monday without taking my meds, my head was pounding and I wasn't with it.

Scar · **#65** by **Scar** » Aug 06, 2013 9:17 am

talkietoaster wrote:Update -

I had my first counselling session yesterday. I had one of those moments that hits you in the face but also unburdens you with the problem. I feel pretty relieved but have some work to do because I didn't realise how messed up I was before I started (ignorance is truely bliss), but I feel confident now I identified the problem I can work on it.

I think the counsellor finds me interesting because I was processing thoughts and feelings differently then she would usually see in other patients. Not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing, but I guess it more professional curiousity.

I had started to feel withdrawal syptoms because I forgot to pick up my prescription on friday and went the whole friday, saturday, sunday and monday without taking my meds, my head was pounding and I wasn't with it.

The fact that she seems curious is a good sign imo. When I had counselling I constantly had the feeling that they were rather confused by the fact that I wasn't acting according to their... script so to speak.

Did you feel actual withdrawal or just the depression creeping back into your head? I was told that you shouldn't get a regular prescription on stuff that can make you addicted.

talkietoaster · **#66** by **talkietoaster** » Aug 06, 2013 9:36 am

Scar wrote:
talkietoaster wrote:Update -

I had my first counselling session yesterday. I had one of those moments that hits you in the face but also unburdens you with the problem. I feel pretty relieved but have some work to do because I didn't realise how messed up I was before I started (ignorance is truely bliss), but I feel confident now I identified the problem I can work on it.

I think the counsellor finds me interesting because I was processing thoughts and feelings differently then she would usually see in other patients. Not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing, but I guess it more professional curiousity.

I had started to feel withdrawal syptoms because I forgot to pick up my prescription on friday and went the whole friday, saturday, sunday and monday without taking my meds, my head was pounding and I wasn't with it.

The fact that she seems curious is a good sign imo. When I had counselling I constantly had the feeling that they were rather confused by the fact that I wasn't acting according to their... script so to speak.

Did you feel actual withdrawal or just the depression creeping back into your head? I was told that you shouldn't get a regular prescription on stuff that can make you addicted.

It wasn't the depression, I had major headache and when I read up on the tablets that can be side effect. Also when I am suppose to come off these tablets in time, apparently you need to wean yourself off overtime. Like today my head doesn't hurt and I started taking the dose again last night. I'm not addicted pretty sure of that.

I don't have a regular prescription, it something I will see the doctor so many weeks on a agreed date and we will talk if they are working and If I am feeling certain syptoms etc...

chairman bill · **#67** by **chairman bill** » Aug 06, 2013 9:42 am

It's not addiction, but coming off the medication needs to be controlled. A sudden stop & your brain chemistry is a tad fucked up, which isn't good.

talkietoaster · **#68** by **talkietoaster** » Aug 06, 2013 9:53 am

chairman bill wrote:It's not addiction, but coming off the medication needs to be controlled. A sudden stop & your brain chemistry is a tad fucked up, which isn't good.

Pretty much felt what happens when you stop straight away. I was pretty lucky, not to get the other side effects you can get.

Agrippina · **#69** by **Agrippina** » Aug 06, 2013 3:19 pm

Yes, be careful with headaches. Pleased you're getting help talkie toaster. :hugs:

Fallible · **#70** by **Fallible** » Aug 06, 2013 5:23 pm

Good to see things progressing, talkie.

Moridin · **#71** by **Moridin** » Aug 06, 2013 7:39 pm

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I would say the best guideline would be try to minimize medication as much as comfortably possible. Don't rule them out, just look for alternatives first then medicate if and as needed.

Antidepressants have a low to moderate effect size compared with placebo (the meta-analyses by both Turner and Kirsch found an effect size of d ~0.32), even taking into account publication bias.

The statement that people should "look for alternatives" (and I give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are not talking about alternative medicine) to psychiatric medical treatments that work is irrational and boarders on anti-psychiatry.

Individuals with depression should have access to the best possible treatments (which is a combination of antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy). They should not be tricked into a less effective treatment plan by uninformed anti-medicine assertions given without evidence.

Never take medical advice from the Internet.

Fallible · **#72** by **Fallible** » Aug 06, 2013 10:25 pm

I wonder how many people would tell someone with a different health complaint to only use medication as a last resort.

talkietoaster · **#73** by **talkietoaster** » Aug 30, 2013 11:51 am

Update -

Hi All!

Thanks for all your input people (extra special thanks to Fallible).

Couple of weeks, I hit a real hard low. When I went to a counsellor and started talking, it was extremely emotionally draining. To the point where I was sleeping as soon as I get in from work. It was pretty fustrating but I have started to realise some of my problems and how they have been linked to my past but also relationships within my family. I have felt extremely bitter, angry and mad that I have never felt before because I didn't realise that I literally turned off my emotional switch with alot of relationships except a few. So it has been overwhelming and draining with what I am feeling , to the point where my chest feels like its aching or hurting all the time (its not a blood pressure problem, thats actually very good). What is strange is I have never dealt with emotions like this before so I am teaching myself how to turn things into more a positive, break down the feelings to why and when, then what affect it has on my behaviour then how to change it (pretty much cbt from what I hear).

The one thought I am being finding it hard to deal with is every so often I have this dreaded feeling I am going to be fighting or deal with my problems for the rest of my life on this level.

I just focus on making sure I am taking the right steps for my son and wife. Didn't realise how strong that motivation is, until now. :cheers:

Fallible · **#74** by **Fallible** » Aug 30, 2013 2:03 pm

I'm really pleased you're making such great progress, talkie. Like I said - motivated. Just to add - being scared that you'll feel like this forever, or that now it's come out you won't be able to get it all back in and be normal, is nothing unusual. In fact it's incredibly common. For a lot of people, that fear can prevent them from experiencing those feelings to begin with and I really don't blame them. This didn't happen with you though, you did it anyway. And it won't feel like this forever. You might be dealing with your responses to situations based on your experiences forever, but it won't be this acute and you won't feel it as often. Plus of course you'll have the tools to recognise and deal with it when it happens. In short, in the future you won't be in the same place you are now, just like 6 months ago you weren't in the place you are now. People get scared when they think of change, but change is inevitable. Even without doing anything it happens constantly and it will continue to happen for you. :cheers:

Shrunk · **#75** by **Shrunk** » Oct 09, 2013 7:10 pm

Agrippina wrote:Oh OK. I thought it wasn't me, just making sure. I'm battling a little paranoia at the moment.

Then, according to our newest member, you can't be depressed. You're the opposite. I'm sure you're very relieved to hear that.

Shrunk · **#76** by **Shrunk** » Oct 09, 2013 7:15 pm

Agrippina wrote:No, depression and mania are the two extremes. Or maybe I wasn't properly taught.

Well, they're both different manifestations of a single syndrome, or can be. So I don't know if it quite makes sense to think of them as opposite extremes, with "health" being in the exact middle of the two. It's like saying arthritis and skin rash are two extremes of Systemic Lupus Erythematosis, and health is in between the two. The statement is incoherent, as is consistency's position.

Scar · **#77** by **Scar** » Oct 09, 2013 7:16 pm

consistency wrote:
Weaver wrote:No, I'm not saying you don't know what depression is, I'm saying you've pre-determined that nobody else here knows what depression is, you've pre-determined that people here are chasing their tails and are non-skeptical, and that now you are searching for evidence to support your conclusion.

For someone who bitches about people not reading his posts properly, you aren't doing such a great job yourself.

I haven't. Its obvious that those who've written so far don't know what depression is at the neuronal level.

I am not looking for any evidence. Just thought I would get people thinking by stearing the convo in the right direction.

------------------------------------------

If you guys can't explain what depression is at the neuronal level. Then you don't understand what depression really is. That is all I am saying.

You're not being skeptical. A skeptic figures whatever needs to be figured out.

Schizophrenia and depression are two extremes. A healthy mind is right in the middle.

Put up or shut up, if you claim to be in possession of knowledge that actual neuroscientists don't possess.

Shrunk · **#78** by **Shrunk** » Oct 09, 2013 7:17 pm

consistency wrote:If you guys can't explain what depression is at the neuronal level. Then you don't understand what depression really is. That is all I am saying.

Still waiting for your explanation.

:coffee:

You're not being skeptical. A skeptic figures whatever needs to be figured out.

Umm, no. That is not at all the definition of "skeptic."

Schizophrenia and depression are two extremes. A healthy mind is right in the middle.

You don't know a thing about this subject, do you?

Agrippina · **#79** by **Agrippina** » Oct 09, 2013 7:18 pm

Shrunk wrote:
Agrippina wrote:Oh OK. I thought it wasn't me, just making sure. I'm battling a little paranoia at the moment.

Then, according to our newest member, you can't be depressed. You're the opposite. I'm sure you're very relieved to hear that.

Oh gawd!

I hate feeling like this. Like I'm in a thick fog of negativity and that I'll never feel positive about anything ever again. Now I'm taking drugs for it again. Damn. :thumbdown:

Shrunk wrote:
Agrippina wrote:No, depression and mania are the two extremes. Or maybe I wasn't properly taught.

Well, they're both different manifestations of a single syndrome, or can be. So I don't know if it quite makes sense to think of them as opposite extremes, with "health" being in the exact middle of the two. It's like saying arthritis and skin rash are two extremes of Systemic Lupus Erythematosis, and health is in between the two. The statement is incoherent, as is consistency's position.

Indeed. Still I can't see schizophrenia as where I want to be, any more than I want to be manic. I'd prefer just to have a long period of not feeling like my bed is the safest place in the world.

Weaver · **#80** by **Weaver** » Oct 09, 2013 7:20 pm

consistency wrote:
Weaver wrote:No, I'm not saying you don't know what depression is, I'm saying you've pre-determined that nobody else here knows what depression is, you've pre-determined that people here are chasing their tails and are non-skeptical, and that now you are searching for evidence to support your conclusion.

For someone who bitches about people not reading his posts properly, you aren't doing such a great job yourself.

I haven't. Its obvious that those who've written so far don't know what depression is at the neuronal level.

You have yet to demonstrate that.

I am not looking for any evidence. Just thought I would get people thinking by stearing (sic) the convo in the right direction.

You have chosen a fairly aggressive way of trying to do that.

------------------------------------------

If you guys can't explain what depression is at the neuronal level. Then you don't understand what depression really is. That is all I am saying.

Again, you have not demonstrated that - and this is the first time you've said it. Perhaps you should lay out your argument as to why you think depression must be understood on a neuronal level, why other forms of understanding are lacking, and why you think others don't have such an understanding.

You're not being skeptical. A skeptic figures whatever needs to be figured out.

That is not the definition of skeptical, nor a description of what a skeptic does. This bodes not well for your case.

Schizophrenia and depression are two extremes. A healthy mind is right in the middle.

They are not two extremes on a single spectrum, nor is "healthy" defined as being between schizophrenia and depression.

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