Mistaking kindness/generosity for weakness.

Fallible · **#81** by **Fallible** » Apr 03, 2018 8:38 am

Keep It Real wrote:
Fallible wrote:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201104/the-rescuer-identity

Describes me pretty perfectly I reckon

http://www.rationalskepticism.org/general-chat/the-best-50-quid-i-ve-ever-spent-t55058.html

There's literally nothing in the post you linked to which shows you to be such a one.

Fallible · **#82** by **Fallible** » Apr 03, 2018 8:39 am

Thommo wrote:
Fallible wrote:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201104/the-rescuer-identity

Thank you, that was actually pretty fun and a much better answer than I deserved.

The_Piper · **#83** by **The_Piper** » Apr 03, 2018 1:20 pm

Fallible wrote:
The_Piper wrote:
Fallible wrote:You sure it doesn't just depend on who you ask?

Chick, I'm sure is annoying to some people, but lady isn't. It's a "gentler" word than woman in fact.

I can't agree with you there. 'Lady' is extremely annoying to some people, often because of this idea of a 'gentler' word. Why is that necessary? Do we need to be gentle to 'ladies'? There's only one circumstance I would use either 'lady' or 'gentleman', and it's if I'm referring to an unknown person either to a child, for example 'little Johnny, move over and let the gentleman pass', or to another adult, eg. 'this lady was in line before me', within earshot of the person themselves. Why use anything other than 'woman' if in the same circumstance you would use 'man'?

No the word is gentler, not the women. I should have used a different word than gentle I guess. Maybe it's because the word woman has baggage here. You know, because some men are like "Get my dinner woman!" "Woman, what's wrong with you!" etc.
You can say to a stranger, "hey man, can I get by?" But not "hey woman, can I get by?" That would garner a dirty look.
That's how lady was used by people my age in Boston when I lived there through 2004, and it's how it's used in northern Maine in 2018. Of course, we're about 20 years behind up here, so maybe they stopped using it down in Boston now. I'll pay more attention to it now and ask around.
I don't mean lady-like or anything like that when I say tall lady, nice lady, mean lady, etc. I mean female human. Women don't need any more coddling than men do. I don't ever say "that's not very lady-like you know" or bs like that.

Fallible · **#84** by **Fallible** » Apr 03, 2018 2:10 pm

I know you were referring to the word. Here we would just say 'excuse me' (or 'sorry' :teef:

), although often people say 'mate' to a man and 'love' to a woman. Despite the reputation we used to have of being 'proper' and stiff, our language is far more informal than other places. For example in France, you'd call someone you didn't know 'Madame', 'Monsieur' or 'Mademoiselle'. I've heard people in the states say 'sir' or 'ma'am'. I've only been called 'ma'am' once in my life - by an American who came into the shop where I was working. We don't address each other like that here unless we're a member of the police force talking to a member of the public, then it's 'sir' or 'madam'.

SafeAsMilk · **#85** by **SafeAsMilk** » Apr 03, 2018 3:10 pm

Keep It Real wrote:
SafeAsMilk wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:
UncertainSloth wrote:

why can't you call them women?

Fallible wrote:Why can't you just call them what they are? Are you allergic to the word or something?

Keep It Real wrote:Yeah pretty much, as are quite a few "ladies" i've met in the past. The trouble is it's got the word men/man in it.

Wait, so you don't want to offend people who don't like woman because it's got man in it, but you think those same people would be totally fine with "lady" or "bird"

Strawmantastic SAM. Strange - that's not like you at all

Then maybe you should clarify, because there really isn’t any other way to interpret it. Unless you’re just randomly and meaninglessly whining about the word woman, since nobody here has raised any objections to it.

Keep It Real · **#86** by **Keep It Real** » Apr 05, 2018 7:35 am

Fallible wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:
Fallible wrote:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201104/the-rescuer-identity

Describes me pretty perfectly I reckon

http://www.rationalskepticism.org/general-chat/the-best-50-quid-i-ve-ever-spent-t55058.html

There's literally nothing in the post you linked to which shows you to be such a one.

It publicises the kSafe which will hopefully rescue addicts.

laklak · **#87** by **laklak** » Apr 05, 2018 2:49 pm

What's wrong with "bint", anyway?

The_Piper · **#88** by **The_Piper** » Apr 05, 2018 3:11 pm

Bint-ches ain't shit, but hoes and tricks. Y'all know the next line. :lol:

Fallible · **#89** by **Fallible** » Apr 05, 2018 5:45 pm

Keep It Real wrote:
Fallible wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:
Fallible wrote:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/traversing-the-inner-terrain/201104/the-rescuer-identity

Describes me pretty perfectly I reckon

http://www.rationalskepticism.org/general-chat/the-best-50-quid-i-ve-ever-spent-t55058.html

There's literally nothing in the post you linked to which shows you to be such a one.

It publicises the kSafe which will hopefully rescue addicts.

Lol. I turn up for work every day to suggest things to addicts. I guess I'm a rescuer (I'm not). Giving people options which they can choose to take themselves is not rescuing. Rescuing would be buying them the safe yourself and putting the money in it for them because you need to feel needed in order to get self esteem.

Keep It Real · **#90** by **Keep It Real** » Apr 15, 2018 8:04 am

Keep It Real wrote:
Cito di Pense wrote:
Keep It Real wrote:Oh for fuck's sake I'm completely fucking tortured now - can't call 'em birds, ladies or women...how about XXs or Eves...

I guess it's been awhile since you watched The Tao of Steve.

Never seen it. On the DL now...

Just finished watching it. Blimey - now there's a unique film! Glad he sorts his head out by the end :smoke:

ETA no smoking please lol

bogdan9310 · **#91** by **bogdan9310** » Mar 02, 2019 1:40 pm

That is because it's a sign of weakness.

The_Piper · **#92** by **The_Piper** » Mar 02, 2019 2:10 pm

What is because what's a sign of weakness?

Hermit · **#93** by **Hermit** » Mar 02, 2019 2:18 pm

The_Piper wrote:What is because what's a sign of weakness?

Mistaking kindness/generosity for weakness is a sign of weakness. Obliviously. :mrgreen:

The_Piper · **#94** by **The_Piper** » Mar 02, 2019 2:20 pm

I think you're right!

Mistaking kindness/generosity for weakness.

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