Self Actualisation

What helps you be who you want to be?

Studies of mental functions, behaviors and the nervous system.

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Self Actualisation

#1  Postby Keep It Real » Apr 30, 2016 11:53 pm

I struggle to be who I want to be. A drug/alcohol/tobacco free writer with an optimistic temperament. Why are these things so hard to achieve? I want them and yet they slip from my grasp as opposing, narrower, inferior? wants disrupt my flow. Does anybody have any tips on self actualisation? How to crystallise the ideal you into an irrefutable influence?
"What's it like to be rich? You can't have two lunches." - some famous musician.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#2  Postby tuco » May 01, 2016 12:04 am

Motivation?
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Re: Self Actualisation

#3  Postby Keep It Real » May 01, 2016 12:07 am

What motivates you? Perhaps insufficient motivation is my problem...
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Re: Self Actualisation

#4  Postby tuco » May 01, 2016 12:13 am

That is irrelevant. What motivates you? ;) You were asking questions, I was guessing. From my experience, when motivated enough almost anything is possible. Think of landing on the Moon for example. Needless to say that its gross simplification necessarily when looking for ingredients for individual lets say success as there are other factors at play. Still, without motivation anything else, all other factors, is irrelevant.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#5  Postby pelfdaddy » May 01, 2016 12:21 am

I find only one approach works for me. I reconstruct all of those "this is what I want to be" ideals into goals of some kind. Then I create a long-term plan (one that is realistic, and that does not require me to push myself toward the goal too quickly), breaking the goal into small steps.

Like eating a hot chili one thin slice per day.

Each step, when achieved, is evidence that I am reaching my goal, and is in and of itself very encouraging. This approach allows me to acclimate myself gradually to each stage of improvement, and to grow accustomed to life in the new state of being before moving slightly closer to the goal. People who take this approach when getting into better physical condition find that the encouragement of achieving small advances is often so great that regression is not even an option. The temptation to slacken is weaker than the impulse to keep going.

After my divorce three years ago, my credit rating was paralyzingly low. Just getting started with the rebuilding process was daunting and discouraging.I laid out a plan that would help me achieve a better status, asked my girlfriend to monitor my progress by checking with me regularly; and slowly, piece by piece, worked my way back.

We are now married, own a home together, have two new vehicles, credit above 700, money in the bank, and opportunities open to us that were closed just a few years ago.

The process took all of about 2 1/2 years, and it was painless.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#6  Postby Keep It Real » May 01, 2016 12:38 am

pelfdaddy wrote:I find only one approach works for me. I reconstruct all of those "this is what I want to be" ideals into goals of some kind. Then I create a long-term plan (one that is realistic, and that does not require me to push myself toward the goal too quickly), breaking the goal into small steps.

Like eating a hot chili one thin slice per day.

Each step, when achieved, is evidence that I am reaching my goal, and is in and of itself very encouraging. This approach allows me to acclimate myself gradually to each stage of improvement, and to grow accustomed to life in the new state of being before moving slightly closer to the goal. People who take this approach when getting into better physical condition find that the encouragement of achieving small advances is often so great that regression is not even an option. The temptation to slacken is weaker than the impulse to keep going.

After my divorce three years ago, my credit rating was paralyzingly low. Just getting started with the rebuilding process was daunting and discouraging.I laid out a plan that would help me achieve a better status, asked my girlfriend to monitor my progress by checking with me regularly; and slowly, piece by piece, worked my way back.

We are now married, own a home together, have two new vehicles, credit above 700, money in the bank, and opportunities open to us that were closed just a few years ago.

The process took all of about 2 1/2 years, and it was painless.


So pleased to hear your optimistic story. :cheers:

Perhaps if I viewed every hour as being an achievement - a wafer thin slice of the chilli - that might help.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#7  Postby Keep It Real » May 01, 2016 12:40 am

tuco wrote:That is irrelevant. What motivates you? ;) You were asking questions, I was guessing. From my experience, when motivated enough almost anything is possible. Think of landing on the Moon for example. Needless to say that its gross simplification necessarily when looking for ingredients for individual lets say success as there are other factors at play. Still, without motivation anything else, all other factors, is irrelevant.

It's about holding the motivation in mind at all times; never slipping never wavering. :cheers:
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Re: Self Actualisation

#8  Postby laklak » May 01, 2016 3:10 am

I just think "fuck it, I'll have another beer". There ain't no fighting City Hall. I'm never going to be a Guitar God or play stadiums, but I do get to play the odd bar, and can still hit a lick or two.

Lighten up, we're all dead meat anyway.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#9  Postby Macdoc » May 01, 2016 10:42 am

Motorcycle riding.

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Re: Self Actualisation

#10  Postby Keep It Real » May 02, 2016 4:11 pm

laklak wrote:I just think "fuck it, I'll have another beer". There ain't no fighting City Hall. I'm never going to be a Guitar God or play stadiums, but I do get to play the odd bar, and can still hit a lick or two.

Lighten up, we're all dead meat anyway.


I'll be dead meat in under a decade unless I can stay off the booze. That would be a pity.

I've written down all my motivations and drawn a diamond around them. They are crystallised. Live long, save money, feel high self-esteem etc. Might help.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#11  Postby Hobbes Choice » May 02, 2016 4:18 pm

Keep It Real wrote:I struggle to be who I want to be. A drug/alcohol/tobacco free writer with an optimistic temperament. Why are these things so hard to achieve? I want them and yet they slip from my grasp as opposing, narrower, inferior? wants disrupt my flow. Does anybody have any tips on self actualisation? How to crystallise the ideal you into an irrefutable influence?


A writer needs experience to get ideas. Drugs and drink can be a conduit for gaining experience, so get off your butt, get smashed and make some noise.

What are you trying to write about?
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Re: Self Actualisation

#12  Postby laklak » May 02, 2016 4:23 pm

:this: What would Hunter S. have accomplished without booze and drugs?
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The sky is falling! The sky is falling! - Chicken Little
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Re: Self Actualisation

#13  Postby Keep It Real » May 02, 2016 4:26 pm

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. I'm writing a novel about a young offender's institute. Slowly. Too damn slowly.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#14  Postby Scot Dutchy » May 02, 2016 6:12 pm

laklak wrote::this: What would Hunter S. have accomplished without booze and drugs?


How would the arts progressed without them? Even Shakespeare was known to like a tipple.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#15  Postby Keep It Real » May 02, 2016 7:22 pm

As if one can't have inspirational experiences without drugs. :roll:
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Re: Self Actualisation

#16  Postby igorfrankensteen » May 03, 2016 2:07 am

Watch Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and wait. As soon as you hear Yoda say

No! Try not! Do! Or do not! There is no try!"


then turn it off, and write some more stuff. Drink and smoke if you like, it wont affect anything.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#17  Postby tuco » May 03, 2016 2:22 am

Keep It Real wrote:As if one can't have inspirational experiences without drugs. :roll:


One? Likely. Everyone? Unlikely. You?
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Re: Self Actualisation

#18  Postby Keep It Real » May 03, 2016 2:17 pm

I'd wager anybody can have inspirational experiences without drugs.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#19  Postby Macdoc » May 03, 2016 2:44 pm

sure - hunger strike or sleep deprivation.
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Re: Self Actualisation

#20  Postby Scot Dutchy » May 03, 2016 3:25 pm

Keep It Real wrote:I'd wager anybody can have inspirational experiences without drugs.


Depends what you consider inspirational.
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