So, I've been having a few issues and I went to a psychologist a month ago. I've always known I've had issues and I should of done this ten years ago but I was just good to talk to someone for an hour and not feel guilty for talking about myself.

At the end, when the doctor said, "So, you want you diagnosis? You have Social Phobia" it was a shock. First I thought he'd got it wrong. I knew I've always been shy. Granted, crippling shyness sometimes, but that's all I thought it was. But when I got home and googled the symptoms I felt like ten tonnes of weight I never even knew I had on my shoulders were lifted. This is a REAL thing! I thought to myself, Other people have this! I was pretty happy.

So I'll be going back to a specialist soon for some cognitive behavioural therapy.

Anyone been through it? Anyone been diagnosed wit SP or SA? Apparently almost one in ten have it to some degree. Anyone think they might have it?

I'm all right at parties, as long as there's a good people-I-know to stranger ratio. And as soon as I've had about 3 vodkas and coke I'm almost as talkative and confident as the next person.

On the subject of self medication this is common with people with the condition. And I had to watch out and make a real effort not to drink as much.

Although I haven't taken any in about a year, I always found ecstasy or MDMA to be brilliant in this respect. It felt like the real me could finally come out. Just being able to walk up to complete strangers and strike up conversations, and be the person leading the conversation felt amazing. Euphoric feelings aside.

Although I'd very much like to find a non-medical solution to this.

Just check with your therapist that you're definitely social phobic and not a confused misanthrope. I made that mistake years ago and the bastards won't stop talking to me now. Maybe I need a dose of Tourettes, that'd shift the fuckers

I have this. For me, it's strongly intertwined with generalized anxiety. Which, in turn, is tied in with bipolar disorder. I have massive depressions, but no manic episodes; the manic side of the disorder manifests in anxiety/panic, instead. And it's especially evident in social situations. I've had full-blown panic attacks when things got bad. I still sit on the aisle at movies and concerts. Occasionally I have to leave the subway because I'm getting claustrophobic from all the people. And in terms of individuals, I regularly cross to the other side of the street when I see a friend - even someone I really like - because I know I'll feel horribly awkward talking to him.

The great thing is that you (body/brain/psyche) know how to behave in the way you want to (presumably) in other words you know how to be OK i.e. when you have had a drink, if the people ratios are right etc.

So sorting it out should be a case of going into unknown territory for you when you find someone to help you.

Good luck

John

Some further thoughts:

First of all, I know what you mean about the relief at having the problem finally diagnosed. That can really help, because then you can avail yourself of the resources to treat it.

For me, as for many with this sort of disorder, a combination of medication and talk therapy work well.

Therapy: My therapist's approach is eclectic, but when the social phobia/anxiety stuff comes up, we work on cognitive behavioral skills. She also recommended this book, which has been incredibly helpful: The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. DBT was originally developed to help people with borderline personality disorder. But many found that it was helpful for a whole array of problems, including various forms of anxiety. Like a lot of new approaches, the originators seem to indicate that the approach must be followed rather rigidly step-by-step. But that's not so - I've found that just dipping into the book, taking from it what's useful, and practicing the skills is an excellent aid for dealing with overwhelming emotions, developing distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal skills. My psychiatrist, who's a very experienced and brilliant guy, said of DBT, "since they can't put it in the water, the next best thing would be to make it required study in schools. It teaches - very effectively - basic emotional survival skills."

Medication: since I have bipolar disorder, I'm on an everyday combination of meds. However, I also use clonazepam (an anti-anxiety med) on an as-needed basis for anxiety. My psychiatrist's advice: "Try not to rely on it too much, since (like all benzodiazepines), it can be quite addictive. On the other hand, there's no point in being a pharmaceutical Calvinist. This is what this shit is there for. Use it if you need to."

One strategy I've found is to always carry a pill in my pocket. Often just the security of knowing it's there if I really need it help calm me down. By doing this, I've reduced my need for actually taking the pill.

It does take work. But hang in there. You're not alone.

@MacIver: I'm glad you've found some answers to your questions and you're getting some help now, but I just wanted to address this part:

MacIver wrote:At the end, when the doctor said, "So, you want you diagnosis? You have Social Phobia" it was a shock. First I thought he'd got it wrong. I knew I've always been shy. Granted, crippling shyness sometimes, but that's all I thought it was... This is a REAL thing!...

I think the emphasised terms demonstrate some of the problems with how the general public view mental disorders. Not that I'm having a go at you here, it's just a pervasive misunderstanding that people seem to have. That is, if you have a thought process or behavior which cripples you (at some point), then it almost necessarily is a mental disorder - a "real" thing. Mental disorders aren't simply "brain misfirings", you can have a perfect healthy brain, and it's not a case of a dichotomous "have a disorder vs don't have a disorder". Instead it's a continuum; we all have symptoms of practically every possible disorder, but it becomes "real", or diagnosable, the moment it 'cripples' us in some way.

Thanks for everyone's replies. orpheus, I'll have a look at that book. And Samsa, you make a good point.