Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#41  Postby Thomas Eshuis » Jun 16, 2013 5:12 pm

mindhack wrote:The sex I did have with female friends, way back, was more like an extension of sex education.

We were horny alright, but it allowed us to try stuff out in a "friendly" environment, without too much risks involved, so to speak.

Friends of opposite sex can fancy eachother, have sex with eachother, without changing too much. We remained friends and didn't expect anything to change afterwards.

FIFY, as I assume you didn't want to make that implication.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#42  Postby mindhack » Jun 16, 2013 5:22 pm

Thomas Eshuis wrote:
mindhack wrote:The sex I did have with female friends, way back, was more like an extension of sex education.

We were horny alright, but it allowed us to try stuff out in a "friendly" environment, without too much risks involved, so to speak.

Friends of opposite sex can fancy eachother, have sex with eachother, without changing too much. We remained friends and didn't expect anything to change afterwards.

FIFY, as I assume you didn't want to make that implication.

Of course, you're right. I blame the topic title.

:thumbup:
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#43  Postby I Punch Your Face » Jun 16, 2013 8:49 pm

Onyx8 wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:You can have friends of the opposite sex, but only under two possible conditions :

1) There's no attraction involved, or very little. But bear in mind that sometimes women see friendships in terms of their usefulness whereas men tend to value qualities, attributes and general companionship.
2) You're already doing the horizontal dance and you develop the friendship as time goes by. In other words, the friendship must be based on romance / intimacy and the natural dynamic between male and female.

Other than that, friendships between men and women are fake.



So the friendships I have with the women I know are fake, are they? Thanks for letting me know, I'll be sure to tell them when I next hang out, at least we'll have a bit of a laugh.


Well generally it's true, friendships between men and women, and between women and women, are not sincere in the way that they are between men. Yes, that's what I've always observed. And straight women and gay men seem to get along very well, ( http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hea ... st-friends ) while strangely enough, straight men and lesbians don't generally get on.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#44  Postby Imagination Theory » Jun 16, 2013 9:11 pm

Blip wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:
Blip wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:You can have friends of the opposite sex, but only under two possible conditions :

1) There's no attraction involved, or very little. But bear in mind that sometimes women see friendships in terms of their usefulness whereas men tend to value qualities, attributes and general companionship.
2) You're already doing the horizontal dance and you develop the friendship as time goes by. In other words, the friendship must be based on romance / intimacy and the natural dynamic between male and female.

Other than that, friendships between men and women are fake.


My emphasis. That's a bold assertion to make: do you have any evidence for it? Disappointing personal experiences, if any, don't count.

I query your point (2) and conclusion as well.


It's not from disappointing personal experiences. Why would I be disappointed by the lack of something that I never expected in the first place? In all my years I've only probably come across two friendships between women that are comparable to the average male-male friendship in terms of sincerity. Pretty much all the men that I personally know would say roughly the same thing, and also a lot of the women I know too.


Well, I'd say that perhaps some people, regardless of gender, see friendships in terms of their usefulness whereas most of us 'tend to value qualities, attributes and general companionship'. I myself am in the latter category.


Yes, men and women list valuing qualities and companionship in the top of their list of what they want in a relationship. Men are viewed in some cultures as just using relationships for sex, which both men and women do, but they value other things first. I'll try to find that study that showed that. The list of what men and women want are the same things, but the order charged a little bit.
Я пью за разоренный дом,
За злую жизнь мою,
За одиночество вдвоем,
И за тебя я пью, -
За ложь меня предавших губ,
За мертвый холод глаз,
За то, что мир жесток и груб,
За то, что Бог не спас.


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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#45  Postby The_Metatron » Jun 16, 2013 9:12 pm

The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#46  Postby I Punch Your Face » Jun 16, 2013 9:18 pm

The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#47  Postby virphen » Jun 16, 2013 9:20 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.


Ok, let's just tell it how it is - this is sexist bullshit, and you can fuck off with it.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#48  Postby Doubtdispelled » Jun 16, 2013 9:22 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote: In all my years I've only probably come across two friendships between women that are comparable to the average male-male friendship in terms of sincerity.


I Punch Your Face wrote:Well generally it's true, friendships between men and women, and between women and women, are not sincere in the way that they are between men.


Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

Apart from that, if some woman were to come on here and start making equal claims about the sincerity of men towards their male friends, there would be an awful lot of men going :scratch:

:scratch:

Oh, wait, perhaps you are simply channelling Otto Weininger?
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#49  Postby The_Metatron » Jun 16, 2013 9:26 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.

I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.

That's not the stupidest thing I've heard, but the stupider thing doesn't come to mind right now.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#50  Postby I Punch Your Face » Jun 16, 2013 9:26 pm

virphen wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.


Ok, let's just tell it how it is - this is sexist bullshit, and you can fuck off with it.


I find it extraordinary how some topics are discussed very differently depending on if it's online or in real life. I've had this exact same conversation with many women, and only 1 has accused me of being sexist (while sort of agreeing at the same time, which was weird). The rest mostly agree and laugh. But then again, real life doesn't have moderators so people tend to speak freely about what they observe in day to day life.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#51  Postby The_Metatron » Jun 16, 2013 9:28 pm

I must speak with different people.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#52  Postby Doubtdispelled » Jun 16, 2013 9:31 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:I've had this exact same conversation with many women, and only 1 has accused me of being sexist (while sort of agreeing at the same time, which was weird).

It's not often I get to use the same line twice in one week, but here goes...

The little button at the bottom of the page says 'Post Reply', not 'Post Bollocks'.

Many women agree that they are insincere in their relationships with other women? You must know some very strange women.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#53  Postby Imagination Theory » Jun 16, 2013 9:33 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.


How do you know this and how does it work? You can look at female friends and be right that their relationship is less sincere then any male friendships? "Everyone knows this". No, I think it is just one of many sexist stereotypes.
Я пью за разоренный дом,
За злую жизнь мою,
За одиночество вдвоем,
И за тебя я пью, -
За ложь меня предавших губ,
За мертвый холод глаз,
За то, что мир жесток и груб,
За то, что Бог не спас.


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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#54  Postby I Punch Your Face » Jun 16, 2013 9:37 pm

Doubtdispelled wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:I've had this exact same conversation with many women, and only 1 has accused me of being sexist (while sort of agreeing at the same time, which was weird).

You must know some very strange women.


I know women from various walks of life. They're not strange at all. It's actually bizarre how things which are common knowledge are denied on internet forums.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#55  Postby Doubtdispelled » Jun 16, 2013 9:40 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:The rest mostly agree and laugh.

So these women - unless you speak to them all individually about this, which would be quite time consuming given the use of 'many' - who presumably know each other and some of whom will probably claim to be friends with each other, all nod and laugh when you ask them if they are insincere in their friendships with other women. Then they all presumably narrow their eyes and look at each other sideways......
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#56  Postby Doubtdispelled » Jun 16, 2013 9:41 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:It's actually bizarre how things which are common knowledge are denied on internet forums.


You can say that again. :roll:
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#57  Postby I Punch Your Face » Jun 16, 2013 9:42 pm

Doubtdispelled wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:The rest mostly agree and laugh.

So these women - unless you speak to them all individually about this, which would be quite time consuming given the use of 'many' - who presumably know each other and some of whom will probably claim to be friends with each other, all nod and laugh when you ask them if they are insincere in their friendships with other women. Then they all presumably narrow their eyes and look at each other sideways......


http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/val ... ends-avoid
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#58  Postby Imagination Theory » Jun 16, 2013 9:44 pm

Я пью за разоренный дом,
За злую жизнь мою,
За одиночество вдвоем,
И за тебя я пью, -
За ложь меня предавших губ,
За мертвый холод глаз,
За то, что мир жесток и груб,
За то, что Бог не спас.


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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#59  Postby mindhack » Jun 16, 2013 9:48 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:
virphen wrote:
I Punch Your Face wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.


Ok, let's just tell it how it is - this is sexist bullshit, and you can fuck off with it.


I find it extraordinary how some topics are discussed very differently depending on if it's online or in real life. I've had this exact same conversation with many women, and only 1 has accused me of being sexist (while sort of agreeing at the same time, which was weird). The rest mostly agree and laugh. But then again, real life doesn't have moderators so people tend to speak freely about what they observe in day to day life.

Both in real life and on forums like this I'm my own moderator, Tarsis3.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#60  Postby LucidFlight » Jun 16, 2013 9:49 pm

I Punch Your Face wrote:
The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that female-female friendships aren't as sincere as male-male. Come on, you know this stuff, everyone knows this, let's not be politically correct, let's just tell the truth as it is.


I wonder if this is because females are like cats, whereas males are like dogs. Cats tend to be more territorial and defensive, whereas dogs hunt together in packs. That is not to say I haven't spotted a pride of females out on the hunt, Friday and Saturday nights down at the local nightclub, but you don't want to get competing prides together in too small a space or they start arching their backs and hissing. Next thing you know, you've got a cat fight on your hands. Wreowr!

Guys, on the other hand, will go around in large packs, sensing out the weakest and most inexperienced animals to hunt, tracking them for long periods, until they submit to the dominant force of the alpha dog and its buddies. Also, a friendly dog is more likely to roll over and let you pat his tummy. Cats, meanwhile, prefer their hair to be stroked gently, and then they go to the cat toilet with their other cat friend to preen themselves and talk about you in their special cat-talk. Meow meow meow!
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