Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#81  Postby PCS » Jun 17, 2013 8:17 pm

The_Metatron wrote:The number of friends I have is less than the fingers of one hand. What a load of poo to suggest rejecting another person as such a friend based on their gender.


That's beside the point, I am not looking for experiences or opinions of people that are blatantly sexiest in that they do or don't want to, I was looking for experiences/opinions of people which find it hard or can't.

Again, everyone has friends of the opposite sex, that must be well obvious, I was looking at real and well defined friendships on their own merits and that would hold true no matter what and without turning romantic/sexual.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#82  Postby Scot Dutchy » Jun 18, 2013 8:37 am

PCS wrote: would say it is a cultural phenomenon as I sort of mentioned in the OP.

As James said: ...And there's the problem. I think men and women can be friends, but the rest of the world seem to be suspicious when they are seen alone together. It can be more hassle than its worth. It shouldn't be, but...


An anglo-saxon cultural phenomenon. A big sweaping brush stroke made by james. In certain cultures it is not even noticed.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#83  Postby truelgbt » Sep 23, 2018 8:45 am

Its possible but I think gender differences get in the way and become a distraction to true friendship. So generally, no.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#84  Postby Fallible » Sep 23, 2018 8:49 am

Which gender differences get in the way?
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#85  Postby Keep It Real » Sep 23, 2018 8:55 am

Ahoy! Sexist gender role stereotypes on the horizon!
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#86  Postby Evolving » Sep 23, 2018 1:40 pm

I'm speculating, but what I think truelgbt means is that, when a straight man and a straight woman make friends, the fact that they are of different genders (their "gender differences") can make it hard for them to remain at the level of non-physical friendship. I don't think that he (he?) is referring to stereotypes.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#87  Postby Evolving » Sep 23, 2018 1:45 pm

I dare say it happens a good deal. Pretty much all of my friends (ignoring my online friends) are of the same gender as me, so I have little experience of friendship (as opposed to acquaintance) across the gender divide; but I think that, if I'm getting to know a man and want to keep the thing on a purely non-physical level, there's always a certain wariness about what he wants of me, and there isn't that with another woman. Unless I happen to know that she's a lesbian, in which case, again, there may be a certain uncertainty.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#88  Postby Evolving » Sep 23, 2018 1:50 pm

Initially there's a certain wariness, I should have said. It doesn't have to continue for ever.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#89  Postby laklak » Sep 23, 2018 2:12 pm

Friends with benefits is the way forward.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#90  Postby surreptitious57 » Sep 24, 2018 11:17 pm

truelgbt wrote:
Its possible but I think gender differences get in the way and become a distraction to true friendship. So generally no

Then that is an awful lot of very happy people having sex with each other simply because they happen to be friends

Undoubtedly it does happen but is it as general as you assume it to be ? Consider there are reasons why it does
not happen as often as you assume : the friendship is more important than sex / sexual attraction is not mutual
/ one or both of them already has a partner / they are not actually interested in sex with or without each other

Remember that lovers may come and go but friends are supposed to be for life. So if they do have sex they
might become lovers more than friends and the platonic relationship from that point on shall then be dead

Human beings are complex so you cannot simply assume the default position between opposite sex friends to
be one of mutual desire. Not least because assumptions can be fallacious particularly the evidence free ones
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#91  Postby Scot Dutchy » Sep 25, 2018 8:05 am

The idea of sex as an extension of friendship these days is nothing new. Ever since the sexual revolution of the 60's attitudes to sex have changed dramatically. It does not have to be the opposite sex either.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#92  Postby Hermit » Sep 25, 2018 8:31 am

Scot Dutchy wrote:The idea of sex as an extension of friendship these days is nothing new. Ever since the sexual revolution of the 60's attitudes to sex have changed dramatically. It does not have to be the opposite sex either.

Bismarck might have been a bit ahead of his time then. He said sex is taking friendship to its logical conclusion. I don't know his views regarding same-sex sex, though.
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Re: Can you have friends of the opposite sex?

#93  Postby Scot Dutchy » Sep 25, 2018 8:39 am

Hermit wrote:
Scot Dutchy wrote:The idea of sex as an extension of friendship these days is nothing new. Ever since the sexual revolution of the 60's attitudes to sex have changed dramatically. It does not have to be the opposite sex either.

Bismarck might have been a bit ahead of his time then. He said sex is taking friendship to its logical conclusion. I don't know his views regarding same-sex sex, though.


I dont think he would have really thought about it.
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