Partners at the birth of a child...

...yes or no?

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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#21  Postby The_Piper » Feb 12, 2014 10:52 am

If I were in the frighteningly important position of being an expecting father, I'd want to be there to see "super adorable new little buddy" into the world. I'm not expecting that anytime soon.
And to quote the great George Costanza yet again, "I'd have to have a date first". :mrgreen:

As far as attending funerals and wakes, I don't like it one bit. The human interaction in that setting. I'm a wuss.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#22  Postby trubble76 » Feb 12, 2014 10:54 am

I think I'm more of the "handing out cigars down the pub" kind of guy but realistically, I'd just do whatever the unfortunate young lady required me to do.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#23  Postby Agrippina » Feb 12, 2014 10:58 am

trubble76 wrote:I think I'm more of the "handing out cigars down the pub" kind of guy but realistically, I'd just do whatever the unfortunate young lady required me to do.


When I've asked this question of other older people, they all say no. They weren't there to see their kids born and they didn't participate in pyjama parades and nappy changing either. My kids seem to have been happy to do both: be at the births of their kids and do all the caring that was usually only the mother's job.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#24  Postby Fallible » Feb 12, 2014 11:01 am

Changing times, perhaps. I know there will still be fathers who don't do the baby stuff, but the contrast between my dad who was not there at the births of my sister or me and never changed a nappy, and my husband who (after the baby was solely reliant on me for milk) matched me in everything - feeding, nappies, night feeds, the lot - couldn't be more stark.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#25  Postby The_Piper » Feb 12, 2014 11:07 am

Feeding, ok, but nobody said anything about diapers. :tongue:
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#26  Postby Agrippina » Feb 12, 2014 11:09 am

Fallible, I know what you mean. My mother would be rattled to know that my kids watched their kids being born, and that my eldest took a year off to look after his eldest, while his wife went back to work. "Not men's work," she would say. :roll:
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#27  Postby Fallible » Feb 12, 2014 11:16 am

Ah well things move on, eh. I remember stand up arguments as a teenager with my dad when I asked why he did nothing around the home. Apparently it's ''women's work''. But even in those days I was aware of other men helping out.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#28  Postby Varangian » Feb 12, 2014 11:31 am

I was there when my kids were born. It was a no-brainer, and the feeling when you hold your child, just new to the World, can't be beaten. Also, one would be a tool not being there offering what support one can give.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#29  Postby zulumoose » Feb 12, 2014 11:43 am

I am very squeamish, so bad that the first time I tried to donate blood, at university, the nurses spotted me in the line and rushed me off to sit down and have a drink, they knew before I did that I was about to faint, yet I hadn't even got to within sight of anyone actually donating yet.

Same thing at ante-natal classes, the midwife walked off to the kitchen during a video of various childbirths and returned with a glass of water, walking straight up to me with it, in a room of maybe 20 people. This time it wasn't the blood, it was a water-birth where the baby headed straight for the surface and they PUSHED it back down again, not letting it get a breath.

When my wife donates blood, I go with her and the nurses raise my legs and give me the tea and biscuits.

Yet I managed to be with my wife through 3 caesarians, and I was of some use at least because I had to draw the anaesthetists attention once to the fact that my wifes face was going blue, he was too busy chatting to the other people in the room.

It is a scary thing to do with strangers, a partner of some sort must be there or it can be a nightmare.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#30  Postby Scar » Feb 12, 2014 11:47 am

Just a funny anecdote:

My father was drinking coffee during my birth and at some point fell asleep.
He's rather not squeamish ;)
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#31  Postby Varangian » Feb 12, 2014 1:02 pm

A friend of mine is capable of fainting at the sight of his own blood, yet he was present at the births of his children without incidents.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#32  Postby Agrippina » Feb 12, 2014 1:58 pm

Fallible wrote:Ah well things move on, eh. I remember stand up arguments as a teenager with my dad when I asked why he did nothing around the home. Apparently it's ''women's work''. But even in those days I was aware of other men helping out.


I still can't get the man to help in the house - not with actual housework. He'll do shopping, empty trash, and take the recycling to the depot, but that's about it. I've tried to teach him to cook but it's just not worth the effort. So he'll go off to buy takeaways or frozen food if I can't cook. He won't do anything else though.

My kids are different. They'll do everything in the house, even the ironing. My DH, he'll take his stuff to the laundry if he didn't have me to do it, or he'd hire someone to come in to do it.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#33  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Feb 12, 2014 2:03 pm

My partner has said he intends to offer to help deliver our baby. He's a doctor so on the one hand he's good help but I got pretty shitty with him, telling him his job is to support me and there's another physician and nurses doing the rest so he better not forget to hold my hand.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#34  Postby Agrippina » Feb 12, 2014 2:05 pm

:grin:
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#35  Postby DoctorE » Feb 12, 2014 2:10 pm

I was there both times.. wouldn't want to miss it!!
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#36  Postby Reeve » Feb 12, 2014 3:02 pm

Rachel Bronwyn wrote:My partner has said he intends to offer to help deliver our baby. He's a doctor so on the one hand he's good help but I got pretty shitty with him, telling him his job is to support me and there's another physician and nurses doing the rest so he better not forget to hold my hand.


I hope the poor bastard is at least getting paid... :mrgreen:
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#37  Postby laklak » Feb 12, 2014 3:46 pm

I tried to be a the first one, but it ended up a Cesarian and I wasn't invited in. The second was Cesarian by choice and I went to the pub for a quick one. Easy Peasy, I don't see what all the fuss is about.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#38  Postby scott1328 » Feb 12, 2014 3:55 pm

My father was not there at the birth of either my older sisters, or mine. He was also mostly not there for the parenting also. As it turns out, my father was not present at the conception of my younger brother. Or so he alleged in the divorce papers
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#39  Postby james1v » Feb 12, 2014 6:29 pm

The missus didnt want me there, both born in the summer, so i caught a little sun whilst waiting.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#40  Postby Macdoc » Feb 12, 2014 6:44 pm

I think it's up to the birth mother but I really treasure my daughter's C section birth.

She was lifted out still asleep and they put her in my arms - and her eyes opened for a bit - seemed to look at me then went back to sleep. Embedded forever. :cheers:

Son's birth the "natural way"....I got food poisoning from the hospital sandwich dispenser and he was a wailer....not the best of times.v :yuk:
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