Partners at the birth of a child...

...yes or no?

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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#41  Postby Shrunk » Feb 12, 2014 6:49 pm

I was there for the birth of both my kids, just because it was a very important event that I wouldn't have wanted to miss. And, no regrets. But, really, I don't think I served any useful purpose there, and when push came to shove (pardon the pun) I doubt my presence made the slightest difference to the missus. I don't think she even knew I was there.

Hate to say it, but all those deep breathing exercise and such that you do during prenatal classes? They don't do shit. A good, timely epidural, that does the trick. I have it on good authority.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#42  Postby laklak » Feb 12, 2014 7:07 pm

As my ex said sometime in the 28 hours of labor, fuck your goddamned breathing gimme the drugs!
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#43  Postby Fallible » Feb 12, 2014 7:16 pm

Mine was painless physically, painful mentally and emotionally. Painless physically because I had no choice but to get an epidural to lower my dangerously high blood pressure.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#44  Postby cherries » Feb 12, 2014 8:33 pm

it's usually not encouraged for the husband to be present in malaysian government hospitals,
they don't like to make exceptions and then many times it's difficult to get a private room so if the beds are just separated by a curtain there is no chance at all, men would be only permitted there during visiting hours.
so i had to go through it alone, not that i would have noticed much once the pain really starts,
it wasn't a big deal tho, more important for me was that they allowed breastfeeding and allowed the baby to sleep in a crib next to you, in private hospitals over there they take the baby in a nursery and bottle feeding is encouraged which was,
besides the financial side of it the reason that i wouldn't have wanted to give birth in that kind of place.
father, while being concerned about my safety (before the birth of youngest son i once asked him to look for a good wife who'd be kind to the children if i'd die in childbirth, i was scared for some reason) helped fuck all after my babies were born,
he got a maid once to help for a couple of days, then with another baby i stayed with an aunt who's daughter had given birth about the same time as me, he bought take away food when cooking was difficult but i had to get back to full routine as soon as poss in order to safe money etc.
i remember very well when he once sat down next to me and folded two baby shirts (the only time) in order to tell me that we had to move house because he hadn't paid the rent.
over there the mother usually helps the daughter after giving birth and the daughter isn't encouraged to even get out of bed but i didn't want to stay in the village and be a nuisance and also liked my independence.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#45  Postby DougC » Feb 12, 2014 8:40 pm

I would want my wife there. I'm a traditionalist.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#46  Postby cherries » Feb 12, 2014 9:02 pm

Thomas Eshuis wrote:If I were to have a pregnant wife in the future, I'd want to be there.
Not just to see my children coming into this world, but also to support her, like Scar mentioned.


good on you, of course it would be your baby being born, it would be sad if you would miss that.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#47  Postby KeenIdiot » Feb 12, 2014 9:24 pm

Talked with my most recent ex-girlfriend about this at some point, and she wanted me there if we had had children together.
I have no problem being there for support, and having spent part of my younger days on a farm helping my grandfather with cattle and goats in birthing I am not particularly squeamish.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#48  Postby MiM » Feb 12, 2014 9:43 pm

Been there twice. With the firstborne I'd say it might have been as much out of necessity as choice. My wife clearly wanted it, so how could I have refused.

That said, I'm really happy I was there. Firstly, I could be of some cruicial help, as a trusted person relaying the proffessionals orders to my wife when things started to get critical. Secondly, after the birth my wife was taken to surgery, and I got to spend the first hours of my daughters life alone with her, which created a really strong bond between us.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#49  Postby Agrippina » Feb 13, 2014 4:35 am

laklak wrote:I tried to be a the first one, but it ended up a Cesarian and I wasn't invited in. The second was Cesarian by choice and I went to the pub for a quick one. Easy Peasy, I don't see what all the fuss is about.


:grin: Yeah Lak, we remember when dads being there was a novelty, now it's a novelty if they aren't there.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#50  Postby Rachel Bronwyn » Feb 13, 2014 8:00 am

My dad annoyed the surgeons delivering us by being too nosey.
what a terrible image
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#51  Postby DarthHelmet86 » Feb 13, 2014 8:58 am

I was there for my son being born, sitting just past my wife's waist staring at the wall. Nothing was getting me to actually look at my son being born. The anxiety was bad enough knowing it was just happening. I was there for her, someone to hold hands with and to say meaningless words while it happened, by choice I would have been far away knocked out so it would be all over when I woke up. The doctor handed me scissors and made me cut the umbilical cord, then got yelled at by one of the midwives because he had been told not to do that shit any more when people said no. The doctors only really rocked up for the birth, before that it was some very very nice and skilled midwives running the show, I kinda wish they had just done the whole thing really.

As a funny story I got to have a small nap, being up for 48 hours isn't good for you (my wife got a nap after the epidural went in), but the sliding door that separated that little nap room and the birthing room jammed. So I spent 15 minutes staring at a jammed door waiting for maintenance blokes to come in...who barged in the room and got abused by the midwives for not knocking. Boy did they get blasted, seems they didn't pay any attention to where they were and just thought it was a normal room...the idiots. The midwives told us that was the second time that door had jammed in the last couple of days, the lady before had her grandma in there who was going to be with her for the birth and she got locked in that room and the baby was born before she could get out.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#52  Postby Agrippina » Feb 13, 2014 9:30 am

Yeah Darth, I think a lot of men do that: are there just to hold hands and be supportive, rather than deal with the whole gory business. My ex came into the room after one of mine was born, not knowing that the placenta still had to be delivered, but was stuck and had to be dragged out. He was sorry because I bit down on his hand. Ow ow ow ow! I think he still has scars. :grin:
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#53  Postby Blackadder » Feb 13, 2014 6:05 pm

If you helped put it in there you can damn well help to pull it out.

OK, not literally.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#54  Postby Varangian » Feb 13, 2014 8:50 pm

Blackadder wrote:If you helped put it in there you can damn well help to pull it out.


It was because he didn't pull it out in time that he's requested to be present at the birth.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#55  Postby cherries » Feb 14, 2014 11:50 pm

KeenIdiot wrote:Talked with my most recent ex-girlfriend about this at some point, and she wanted me there if we had had children together.
I have no problem being there for support, and having spent part of my younger days on a farm helping my grandfather with cattle and goats in birthing I am not particularly squeamish.


:awesome:

when i was twenty i lost twins at the sixth month of pregnancy, that was real tough, my first husband was quite supportive, it was in the uk and he was there when they pulled out the little bodies one by one, later when my friends( from germany) came to visit who were there for my wedding( it happened on the same day), one of my friend (a frail little punk :) ) fainted,
that was so cute :)
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#56  Postby Agrippina » Feb 15, 2014 5:10 am

cherries wrote:
KeenIdiot wrote:Talked with my most recent ex-girlfriend about this at some point, and she wanted me there if we had had children together.
I have no problem being there for support, and having spent part of my younger days on a farm helping my grandfather with cattle and goats in birthing I am not particularly squeamish.


:awesome:

when i was twenty i lost twins at the sixth month of pregnancy, that was real tough, my first husband was quite supportive, it was in the uk and he was there when they pulled out the little bodies one by one, later when my friends( from germany) came to visit who were there for my wedding( it happened on the same day), one of my friend (a frail little punk :) ) fainted,
that was so cute :)


Part of my nursing training was a three-month stint of working in the gynaecology ward, so I saw a few of similar miscarriages. The first one I saw has stuck in my mind. The tiny little 4 months foetus just slipped out into the bed, and I had to clean up the mess. It didn't bother me, so I imagine I could be on the viewing end of someone having a baby, if I was asked to be there.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#57  Postby jaydot » Mar 10, 2014 10:50 pm

i saw film of a woman giving birth - gross. put me off sex for months.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#58  Postby Scarlett » Mar 10, 2014 11:00 pm

My husbands were there. Not both at the same time, but with each of their children, obviously.

Tia was born 6 minutes after I arrived at hospital, had I allowed her father his way she would have been born in McDonalds drive-thru as he was pretty determined he needed breakfast en route :roll:

I spent 6 minutes crying "I was supposed to have drugs!", only to be told I was too late. So I accidentally had a drug free delivery :grin:

Go me!
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#59  Postby scott1328 » Mar 10, 2014 11:04 pm

Scarlett wrote:My husbands were there. Not both at the same time, but with each of their children, obviously.

Tia was born 6 minutes after I arrived at hospital, had I allowed her father his way she would have been born in McDonalds drive-thru as he was pretty determined he needed breakfast en route :roll:

I spent 6 minutes crying "I was supposed to have drugs!", only to be told I was too late. So I accidentally had a drug free delivery :grin:

Go me!

I bet that stings a bit. I hope the egg McMuffin was worth it.
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Re: Partners at the birth of a child...

#60  Postby Scarlett » Mar 10, 2014 11:07 pm

scott1328 wrote:
Scarlett wrote:My husbands were there. Not both at the same time, but with each of their children, obviously.

Tia was born 6 minutes after I arrived at hospital, had I allowed her father his way she would have been born in McDonalds drive-thru as he was pretty determined he needed breakfast en route :roll:

I spent 6 minutes crying "I was supposed to have drugs!", only to be told I was too late. So I accidentally had a drug free delivery :grin:

Go me!

I bet that stings a bit. I hope the egg McMuffin was worth it.


He didn't get his bloody McDonalds breakfast, no way my daughter was being born in McDonalds drive-thru :shock:

Can you imagine the embarrassment? :whine:
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