Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

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Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#1  Postby I'm With Stupid » Nov 14, 2011 3:49 am

Every soldier in every game I've ever played is a dick. A dick that sounds like a 14-year-old boy reading dialogue discarded from an old-school Schwarzenegger action movie for displaying too much swagger. They seem like a bunch of try-hard bell-ends, desperate to highlight their gruff masculinity. What, exactly, are they overcompensating for?


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Gotta agree. I tend to prefer games where the main character is something of a blank canvas, like Gordon Freeman in Half Life. If the whole point of videogames is for you to become the character, then they should keep it as minimalist as possible. Even the characters in good games like the GTA series are often cringe worthy. I can only think of one leading videogame character that I genuinely love, and that's Guybrush Threepwood. Anyone got any other genuinely well-written characters?
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#2  Postby quixotecoyote » Nov 14, 2011 4:44 am

Leaving aside RPG games where characterization is often the point, and assuming we're talking main characters, the first one that leaps to mind is Jade from Beyond Good and Evil, barring one scene with an out-of-character breakdown.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#3  Postby CookieJon » Nov 14, 2011 6:16 am

Wheatly from Portal 2 made me LOL.

And Samus Aran from Metroid is lusciously laconic.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#4  Postby aban57 » Nov 14, 2011 9:12 am

I like Snake, in the Metal Gear Solid serie. He's allways overwhelmed by events, but stays focus on what he can do
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#5  Postby Animavore » Nov 14, 2011 9:59 am

Kratos from God of War is my favourite character. He's so hilariously over the top with machoism and anger he can't help but bring a smile to my face. Yeah sure, he's a dick but he's my dick.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#6  Postby Mazille » Nov 14, 2011 10:24 am

The worst offender might just be the 12-year-old in a shaved bear's body in Gears of War. What was his name? Phoenix, or something.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#7  Postby Crocodile Gandhi » Nov 14, 2011 10:26 am

Ash Ketchum is no dick.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#8  Postby Mazille » Nov 14, 2011 10:27 am

Are you kidding? He's a slaver, if ever I saw one. Worse than any ancient Roman owner of any ludus.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#9  Postby Crocodile Gandhi » Nov 14, 2011 10:28 am

You assume that people should care for the welfare of Pokemon. They are violent killing machines. Only useful when mastered and placed into battle.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#10  Postby Mazille » Nov 14, 2011 10:31 am

Crocodile Gandhi wrote:You assume that people should care for the welfare of Pokemon. They are violent killing machines. Only useful when mastered and placed into battle.

The same could be said about Aussies and we still don't do it, as both are quite clearly self-aware, sentient beings even though they talk in a weird way.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#11  Postby Crocodile Gandhi » Nov 14, 2011 10:32 am

Mazille wrote:
Crocodile Gandhi wrote:You assume that people should care for the welfare of Pokemon. They are violent killing machines. Only useful when mastered and placed into battle.

The same could be said about Aussies and we still don't do it, as both are quite clearly self-aware, sentient beings even though they talk in a weird way.


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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#12  Postby aban57 » Nov 14, 2011 10:39 am

Animavore wrote:Kratos from God of War is my favourite character. He's so hilariously over the top with machoism and anger he can't help but bring a smile to my face. Yeah sure, he's a dick but he's my dick.


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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#13  Postby VazScep » Nov 14, 2011 12:40 pm

I'm With Stupid wrote:Gotta agree. I tend to prefer games where the main character is something of a blank canvas, like Gordon Freeman in Half Life.
For me, the better example is Alex. I thought she was pretty annoying and pointless in the first game. In the first episode, she was just annoying. And then by the second episode, I actually quite liked her. See, that's character development! (or perhaps just improvements in AI, which is basically the same thing).

I can only think of one leading videogame character that I genuinely love, and that's Guybrush Threepwood. Anyone got any other genuinely well-written characters?
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Krondor cheated badly because most of the game's exposition came from literally hundreds of pages of (very well-written) text. It was effectively a book with interactive elements, but then, some games these days have so many cut-scenes and scripted sequences that they might as well be films with interactive elements. Anyway, Krondor had amazing characters, and I was fuming when Gorath died at the end.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#14  Postby Wiðercora » Nov 14, 2011 3:12 pm

Serious Sam. Oh yeah.
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Re: Videogames: most of the characters are dicks

#15  Postby HughMcB » Nov 14, 2011 3:14 pm

aban57 wrote:I like Snake, in the Metal Gear Solid serie. He's allways overwhelmed by events, but stays focus on what he can do

I was just about to say. Snake has to be the greatest character.
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