Hello all you Ratskeppers old and new

[Agrippina]

[quote="akigr8";p="2770832"]Wonderful to have you back Aggi! I too recently returned to ratskep

Thanks for sharing what you have been through, and good to hear you are doing a lot better!
Also thanks for sharing about autism; because of you posting some on Facebook some years ago I had a serious look at it, and thought this was me. But it took a serious burnout end of 2018 for me to finally seek a diagnosis. I was diagnosed autistic last month [/quote]

I'm pleased to hear that. hAving a diagnosis and facing the fact that it's not only you but also explains your children's behaviour and socialising problems, really makes a huge difference. Also being aware that melting down isn't just having a temper tantrum but can be avoided by observing what causes them and then trying to avoid the triggers makes life a little easier. We've now been talking about the form my meltdowns took in my childhood. II used to have seizures, and still do if I experience extreme pain. When I was a child they were treated as "epilepsy" and I was given phenobarbitals to prevent them, and ammonia (sal volatile) to sip when I came out of a fit. This combination of poison could be the reason for my psychotic behaviour that's now being controlled with benozodiazapines. So I live my life being kept calm with benzos, and having all responsibility in the hands of my adult children. I wish it had been different, but wishes don't make things happen. At least all seems to be peaceful and calm now.

My kids are also armed with information to help their own children's socialising and obsessive behaviour, but most importantly, I'm staying clear of people who tell me "I think I have OCD too because I can't help sorting my Tupperware", or "don't sweat the small stuff". That really makes me furious, so I stay away from them.

It's lovely to finally be at peace with the world. Enough money to live on, not extravagantly but comfortable, and to allow other people to take responsibility off my hands, so much so that I only get only one or two emails a day, and those are unimportant ads I just toss into the bin. I also don't answer the phone if I'm not in the mood to speak and have my own space, where I can shut the door from the world around me.

[Agrippina]

[quote="don't get me started";p="2770861"]Hi Agrippina, welcome back.

I'm one of the more peripheral members here and, although I've read a lot of what you have written, I haven't really interacted with you before. But it's nice to see you again and thank you for letting us know about what has been going on with you.[/quote]

Hi, and thank you for the welcome back. Yes, I was a prolific writer here in the past, sometimes a little manic in my responses, so I haven't been looking back at my posts. I think I'd cringe if I did. I'm feeling really pleased with the welcomes, I wasn't expecting it given how bad my psychosis was at the time I left.