hackenslash wrote:

Griz_ wrote:Reread John's response and pay attention to the capitalization of the word "Self". I'm not sure he believes in God as a separate entity in the traditional sense that we we tend to think of a God. To be honest, I'm not sure he is a Catholic at all.

Pretty sure he's a proponent of one of the ancient Scandinavian religions. One with goats and trip-trapping in it...

Yes, the wooly trinity being the baby goat, the tastier medium sized goat and the much tastier big billy goat gruff. Totally catholic outlook.

Well, here we have proof that the wooly trinity is false. Everyone knows that young baby goats are much tastier and only an extremist zealot could fool themselves into believing that the old billy goat gruff is tastier. These are tough, stringy and strong tasting whereas the baby goat is tender and delicious, especially when boiled in it's mother's milk. A cooking technique prohibited by that cult in order to prevent it's followers from learning the truth.

hackenslash wrote:

John Platko wrote:If you have a more sensible interpretation to the Abraham story then please give it.

How about 'it's a fabrication'?

This is consistent with the widely-accepted view among scholars, not least because none of what's written in Genesis can be related to established history of the alleged period in the alleged timeframe.

Oh I'm on board with that. The Abraham story sounds like an act of active imagination to me.

To me, it just seems silly to think that some God exists that would give some loyalty test involving killing one;s son.

To me, that sentence is 9 words too long.

You are mistaken.

To me, that sentence is 9 10 words too long.

FIFY

Ah, yes. I overlooked the word 'some' in my deliberations.

Never said I was infallible, unlike the plonker at the head of the thread...

hackenslash wrote:

Griz_ wrote:Reread John's response and pay attention to the capitalization of the word "Self". I'm not sure he believes in God as a separate entity in the traditional sense that we we tend to think of a God. To be honest, I'm not sure he is a Catholic at all.

Pretty sure he's a proponent of one of the ancient Scandinavian religions. One with goats and trip-trapping in it...

That's a bit gruff.

Not nearly as gruff as most of my responses to your wibble have been.

I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

I can suggest one arising from John's methodology of interpretation...

First, read the words in the Book. Second, consider what you would prefer those words to mean. Third, wherever possible, draw sketchy lines of justification for doing so - if in doubt, just throw some words together in haphazard fashion to form a sentence starting with the word 'because'.

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

Well, Sundays are pretty easy with that "keeping the Sabbath rule" but don't fool yourself. It gets tougher. Be careful about the masturbation thing. I always seemed to have trouble with that one, especially on the weekends.

Spearthrower wrote:

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

I can suggest one arising from John's methodology of interpretation...

First, read the words in the Book.

Which book is that?

CdesignProponentsist wrote:

Spearthrower wrote:

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

I can suggest one arising from John's methodology of interpretation...

First, read the words in the Book.

Which book is that?

The one with a capital B.

Griz_ wrote:Well, here we have proof that the wooly trinity is false. Everyone knows that young baby goats are much tastier and only an extremist zealot could fool themselves into believing that the old billy goat gruff is tastier. These are tough, stringy and strong tasting whereas the baby goat is tender and delicious, especially when boiled in it's mother's milk. A cooking technique prohibited by that cult in order to prevent it's followers from learning the truth.

Sounds like you're a Grimm man.

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

Well I find it helps if I stand as close as possible to the incense and take deep breaths.

Griz_ wrote:

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

Well, Sundays are pretty easy with that "keeping the Sabbath rule" but don't fool yourself. It gets tougher. Be careful about the masturbation thing. I always seemed to have trouble with that one, especially on the weekends.

What masturbation thing? ohhh. that's not a masturbation thing - you're supposed to put money in there- oh my. But I do see your problem, it does tend to get full on weekends.

If the rest of John's exegesis is anything to go by, I am sure masturbation is perfectly fine

Romans 6:13 wrote:Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.

Wanking is not permitted unless you're wanking over God, then it's not just fine but positively righteous!

CdesignProponentsist wrote:

Spearthrower wrote:

CdesignProponentsist wrote:I decided to try out being a Catholic. I've been one now for about 9 hours now, and I have to say it ain't half bad.

Any tips you can provide John?

I can suggest one arising from John's methodology of interpretation...

First, read the words in the Book.

Which book is that?

All things considered, I would suggest you start with:

http://www.amazon.com/Grimms-Complete-F ... nskepti-20

Although, as usual, Hackenslash made an excellent point, so perhaps it would be best for you to start with:

http://www.amazon.com/Norwegian-Folktal ... +folk+tale

And then once you have a good handle on exactly how such stories work. i.e. get comfortable with the
concept of not taking stories with talking animals (snakes for example) literally, and learn to sus out whatever
good moral can be milked from a story no matter how gimm it may be, then you're ready to move on to
the B book, where many trip and get trapped as they ..... well we'll cross the bridge when we get there.

And speaking of such things, I just love the moral of that story, I sus the moral to be: Don't be a troll because you
never know when an old goat is going to come along and "poke your eyeballs out your ears"1 and "crush you to bits body and bones"1.

And I would undoubtedly be misrepresenting him if I were to point out that John said the primary guide to Catholicism is Grimm's Fairy Tales.

Frankly, there's more insight into the human condition and more robust moral reasoning in Lord of the Rings than there is in the bible. Not to mention it's much better written and has Hobbitses in it...

Unfortunatly there aren't any proper guidelines on how much to beat my slave in LotR.