That magic place the catlicks think can cure them of all manner of illness and maladies? Closed due to covid 19... brilliant.

https://www.thecatholicuniverse.com/lou ... irus-49120

Bahahaha!

This is one the tests that Gawd sets us. If we react by closing his Holy Shrine, then we have failed.

It's really hard to imagine how devout believers process this. The power of cognitive dissonance.

When it comes down to tin tacks hardly anybody has ever placed any real faith in the alleged existence protective properties of divine beings. That's why churches are adorned with lightning conductors, priests lock their sacristies up before they go home and the popemobile is of bulletproof construction. Sane Christians even have their children immunised and take them to the doctor when needed.

Mrs. Watkins was one of the rare exceptions, and look at what happened to her. She awoke one spring morning to find that the river had flooded the entire first floor of her house. Looking out of her window, she saw that the water was still rising. Two men passing by on a rowboat shouted up an invitation to row to safety with them.

"No, thank you," Mrs. Watkins replied. "The Lord will provide."

The men shrugged and rowed on. By evening, the water level forced Mrs. Watkins to climb on top of the roof for safety. She was spotted by a man in a motorboat, who offered to pick her up.

"Don't trouble yourself," she told him. "The Lord will provide."

Pretty soon, Mrs. Watkins had to seek refuge atop the chimney. When a Red Cross cutter came by on patrol, she waved it on, shouting, "The Lord will provide."

So the boat left, the water rose, and the old woman drowned. Dripping wet and thoroughly annoyed, she came through the pearly gates and demanded to speak to God. "What happened?" she cried.

"For cryin' out loud, lady," God said. "I sent three boats."

I harbour a secret theory that not one single mentally competent theist actually believes there is a god who is omni-all, created everything from nothing or that he sent himself down to save us from our sins, died and came back to life before flying back up into the sky to sit at his own right hand, because it is clearly nonsense. I think they say they do because they are expected to. I think they say they do without thinking about it. I especially don’t think the clergy believe it.

Hermit wrote:Mrs. Watkins...

"For cryin' out loud, lady," God said. "I sent three boats."

As per the ancient Greek adage: the god help those who help themselves.

And of course, it being ancient Greece, there were some clever buggers sitting around wondering then what the fucking point was of gods.

mattthomas wrote:That magic place the catlicks think can cure them of all manner of illness and maladies? Closed due to covid 19... brilliant.

https://www.thecatholicuniverse.com/lou ... irus-49120

This is dreadful news. Revenue will be down, hitting the Church’s Q1 profits and returns on capital employed. The Vatican’s accountants ain’t gonna like this.

Blackadder wrote:

mattthomas wrote:That magic place the catlicks think can cure them of all manner of illness and maladies? Closed due to covid 19... brilliant.

https://www.thecatholicuniverse.com/lou ... irus-49120

This is dreadful news. Revenue will be down, hitting the Church’s Q1 profits and returns on capital employed. The Vatican’s accountants ain’t gonna like this.

That'll test the Vatican's new finance minister's mettle. The previous one became indisposed in March 2019 when he was convicted of sticking his cock into the mouth of a 13 year old choir boy and some other child-sex crimes. Cardinal George Pell is currently serving a six year term, with a three year and eight month non-parole period, in jail unless his second and final appeal succeeds.

I tried not to be That Guy, but I’m about to be That Guy. ‘A millenia’? WTAF??

Spearthrower wrote:

Hermit wrote:Mrs. Watkins...

"For cryin' out loud, lady," God said. "I sent three boats."

As per the ancient Greek adage: the god help those who help themselves.

Now I wish I were a Greek god. Specifically Zeus. I'd be swanning about everywhere, helping myself. Take me to your Leda.

Klingons, English isn't their first language.

Ah, fair enough.

I saw the original language version of a Kling film once.

I must say, it’s kept well.

Croikey.

Fallible wrote:I tried not to be That Guy, but I’m about to be That Guy. ‘A millenia’? WTAF??

You're off your game, Fall. Have you looked at the title ?

Huh?

Oh ye of little faith.