Aggie, you are in contempt of court!! How dare you come into this courtroom with that blindly bright hat!

I'll have to dig out that toilet hat again.

You may as well wear this if your game.

Thank you Angelo, don't I look just lovely in that hat.

Agrippina wrote:Thank you Angelo, don't I look just lovely in that hat.

Suits you to a tee.

I thought that seeing the whole God thing is a big joke, I'd have a little fun today:



Shh! *whispers* don't tell the judge I said that.

Very appropriate actually. This whole court case is a joke. The god side's evidence is laughable.

Maybe a joke, but a serious joke that invades our lives from every direction.

The bible thumpers are everywhere. Had two of them knocking on my door today. Just ignored them, even though the dogs were going crazy. I think they may have got the message no one was going to answer the door and left.

I'm going to open the door, invite them in with, "I'll listen to you for a half hour, after you've listened to me." That' will put them off.

JUDGE: This trial has taken a heavy toll on all of us. The jury is to be commended for their stalwart perseverance during these many long and arduous months, however at the request of counsel Puppy, this court would like to introduce a new and innovative twist to this trial as a, well... as a relief for the tension and difficulties that many here have faced in bringing the Lord our God to trial. The court recognises that many of the jurors and spectators who are present respect the Lord God and...

SP: I respect God too your honour despite the fact that He’s a friggin’ looking-at-our-butts wanker!

JUDGE: That’ll be quite enough counsel! Where was I? Oh yes, throughout this trial many in the gallery have sported chic and fashionable headwear. To honour those who have dressed so respectfully for the benefit of this court, I propose that we have a contest. The contest will be for the prettiest hat. There will be a first and a second place winner... the rules.

1 Any hat may be worn.
2 Each contestant may enter two pictures. It will be possible for one contestant to win both the 1st and 2nd prize.
3 The judge will be counsel Skinny Puppy, his decision will be final.
4 The contest will end on May 16th.
5 While only 2 pictures may be entered into the contest, contestants may post more pictures if they wish to. The only stipulation is that the extra pictures are labeled as “This picture is not an entry” to distinguish them from the official contest entries.

JUDGE: When I was in my chambers this morning the Lord asked if He could enter His Son into the contest. I could see no valid reason why Jesus should be excluded since He’s not on trial and I’ve agreed.

SP: I object your honour. I’ve already outlined how Jesus spends His day in a toilet bowl looking up at peoples’ asshol...

JUDGE: Objection overruled! The court has yet to determine whether counsel’s point is valid. The Lord may now post pictures of His beloved Son which will get the contest underway.

LORD: Thank you your honour. As you’re all aware, in times past, my Boy visited the Americas and I took a few pictures of Him there since He dressed-up for the occasion. The angels refer to Him, with great reverence of course, as Cowpoke Jesus. We all have a good laugh about it.

SP: I’d call Him a “cow poker” too. He poked Mary and if she doesn’t look like a friggin’ cow in heat then nothing does!

JUDGE: Counsel will not refer to Mary, the Holy Mother of God as a cow in heat!

LORD: Thank you your honour. My 2 contest entries are of my Son in His cowpoke outfits. I’ve also added a non-contest entry of my Son in summer fashion.

Cowpoke Jesus... submitted by the Lord our God.
Entry #1

Entry #2


Summer fashion Jesus... submitted by the Lord our God. (This picture is not an entry)


JUDGE: the court would like to thank the Lord our God for His entries and will now await entries from the gallery.

O-M-G, the saviour is among us!!!

I think I might have worn this one to court, but I'd like to enter it. I think it's a fabulous hat. I think hats should be voted on for their sartorial splendor, as well as their unusualness, and I suggest that the OFs club should be the judges of the hat contest.



My second entry is a hat I would definitely have worn in my youth:

Agrippina wrote:

I think it's a fabulous hat. I think hats should be voted on for their sartorial splendor, as well as their unusualness, and I suggest that the OFs club should be the judges of the hat contest.

JUDGE: The court selected counsel Puppy as the contest judge because he’s shown respect, admiration and humility when speaking about the Lord our God. We admit he’s slipped up the odd time, but those instances are hardly noticeable. His constant praise of the Trinity hasn’t gone unnoticed by this court. However, upon reviewing the court records the court feels that his positive bias towards all things holy may cloud his judgement, and perhaps Puppy, inadvertently or unknowingly, might give God’s entries an edge over other worthy entries. The court doesn’t wish to impugn the honour of Counsel Puppy, but we do feel that his great love of the Lord may tip the balance of the contest in God’s favour.

Therefore the court rules that the OF’s Club will be the official judges for this contest.

Who judges the Judge when the Judge is busy judging?

Woohoo. Thank you your Honour, I am very pleased with your verdict.

@Van, you get to judge, hats as well as anything else you'd like to. You might get told you're in contempt but in this case I can't see that contempt is a crime.

My entry your grace.

O-M-G!

As a contestant (now that the judge has relieved me of my duties) I’d like to enter the contest too.

Naturally I’d never stoop so low as to try the “cuteness” angle on the esteemed, benevolent and gracious judges, like some contestants might try to do... I believe these hats are stunning regardless of the fact that an adorably cute little puppy just happens to be wearing them.

Entry #1


Entry #2

As an OF, I vote for those two to win.

As an official member of OF's I vote for entry # 1